randalljohnson
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2017
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- 250
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- Age
- 36
Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Check out my other thread titled "girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes"I would be concerned. I would watch her other actions. Does she meet this guy in person? You need to divest emotionally from her and be prepared to dump or be dumped. What other information can you give us?
I know what you mean, but that's not her. She doesn't "like" everything. Just like how she's not the person to wish EVERYBODY a happy birthdayHm, look at if she likes photos all over the place. Maybe she likes photos of everyone LOL some girls (a lot of girls, actually) got nothing to do during the day and they are always checking their Insta, liking pics all over the place
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Well, then be prepared for anything. If she doesn't like everything and she's giving this guy more attention, it means he's doing sth right whether he knows it or not.I know what you mean, but that's not her. She doesn't "like" everything. Just like how she's not the person to wish EVERYBODY a happy birthday
Is that the reason you broke up? The funny thing with my girl is that she's always told her friends how much she wanted stability and to get married and settle down with her kid and a manHuge red flag for me... 9 times out of 10 they are in contact with that guy in some way. It doesn't necessarily mean they're having sex, but they are probably texting, or in contact in some form. I've had 2 women in my past showing this behavior, and both times I caught them talking to the guy later. Trust your gut feeling, it's usually right lol
Its a valid concernWinner! Lamest reason to get mad at her, ever.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Keep in mind, she has no other choice. Imagine if she said to her friends how much she wanted to **** every cute guy she sees without ever being in a relationship with them. Yeah....Is that the reason you broke up? The funny thing with my girl is that she's always told her friends how much she wanted stability and to get married and settle down with her kid and a man
How would I know what she's doing on Facebook?Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I would DIRECTLY ASK her if she's fvckin the dude, dating the dude, etc. on the side, and if not, why does she like all of his pics?Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
I totally agree with you on this one. Not saying it to her in an offensive way cause you'd show this **** is under your skin, but when the girl is your girlfriend and you notice that? Like, listen, I would not go around snooping what she likes and what she doesn't, but if something bothers me about anything, I will tell it to her and wait for her response. Not that I will completely and blindly lie on that response per se, but I will at least make it known there is something I don't like in there.I would DIRECTLY ASK her if she's fvckin the dude, dating the dude, etc. on the side, and if not, why does she like all of his pics?
If you're bothered by something then you're bothered by it. Why do we as Men have to be ashamed for what pisses us off, but women can be pissed off, express it, etc., etc.?
Tell that slvt it looks weird and you don't like it.
I remember the thread you made earlier about this chick. 90% of us told you the same thing, yet you're still here and starting another thread about it because you put up with this sh!t and didn't change a thing.Check out my other thread titled "girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes"
This particular guy, I don't believe she's met in person. But she added him on facebook/instagram the first month or two we were together. He lives local to us. Eventually she deleted him off FB (when things got better in our relationship) but kept him on IG and to this day, seems to consistently Like his selfies
I am so sorry for myself that I was not around this forum around September...these words would have probably saved me a lot of pain I went through. However, thanks for putting it like this. Now I know what to do with my next cases if anything similar happened. I had my girlfriend giving me **** when I was telling her to take a trip and she was hesitating all over the place. Don't know what it might have been, but I am sure the "pep talk" would have solved the situation in my favour and it would have saved me a lot of pain, begging, pleading. Thanks.I remember the thread you made earlier about this chick. 90% of us told you the same thing, yet you're still here and starting another thread about it because you put up with this sh!t and didn't change a thing.
Many of us have dealt with this crap at one time or another. You ask us for advice, then don't have the balls to do something. Make sense?
I would do one of 2 things.
1.) Address the issue with her asap. You shouldn't be putting up with this and if the shoe was on the other foot, she would have dumped you by now. The problem with addressing it is that there is really no way to keep frame while doing it. You'll look insecure and weak.
2.) Out of nowhere, sit her down and tell her that you need to talk. Tell her that there are some things that you're not comfortable with and you want to take some time to figure out what you want to do. In no way, shape or form do you go into detail about her wondering eyes. It should be no more than a 2 minute talk, all one sided, and all you should tell her is "look in the mirror at some of your behaviors and either fix them or I'm going to explore other possibilities. This chick isn't stupid. If she's fvcking one of these guys she is going to think that's what you're taking about. DO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS. DON'T ANSWER QUESTIONS. QUICKLY SPEAK YOUR MIND AND LEAVE. If it gets into a conversation about it, it will either turn into a fight, or she will just tell you there is nothing to worry about.
This chick needs to go to hardcore timeout.
Bottom line, it's up to her to fix her inappropriate behavior, not your job, in order to make you happy enough to keep seeing her.
She's either going to agree with you about splitting up and bounce, or realize that you WILL walk if sh!t doesn't change NOW.
Tell her that you're taking a couple of days apart to figure out exactly what you want to do.....leave her in limbo and do not initiate any contact. Don't blow her completely off, but wait a while to text her back, don't answer her calls......make her really think about it.
If left unattended you're going to get dumped because she is getting away with this crab, your not addressing it and she won't respect you.
Man up and address it this way and you won't lose frame.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.