MikeEdward1973
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2007
- Messages
- 276
- Reaction score
- 9
Good job, keep at it!
go crazy, send out a bunch!
go crazy, send out a bunch!
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
History. I've been in the same place six years. My salary before that is meaningless as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I even remember.MikeEdward1973 said:Well, if he's going to apply to a situation where they're requiring salary history, rather than salary expectations, I would add it.
Again, I hate engaging employers on Monster or CL that ask for that, but if it's a must, I have to assume that if he doesn't include it, he risks having his application discarded.
Reset, are you being asked to submit salary history, or just salary expectations?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
When I was looking for a new job in a new city 2 years ago, I did a new cover letter for every job I applied to. I had a basic format that I use but I would tailor it to the company and posting that I applied for, including hitting the areas that they talk about in their ad.reset said:cool, thanks man. Sent it and that's the format I'll keep using.
I don't mean to nit-pick, but as I re-read this, I realized that there is a grammatical improvement to be made. Please try:reset said:My top priority is job responsibilities and a place where I can personally and professionally grow.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Let's keep in mind that Reset is currently responding to postings on Craigslist or Monster.com. A typical posting on either, depending on the job and the location, will receive between 20 and 200 responses. I know this to be a fact because when a posting goes up for an opening on either of the teams I manage, that is the general range of the number of responses that we get, over a 2 week period.BLebowski said:I don't know if you're sending out open resumes or are focusing on specific advertisements ... but what helps immensely is describing why you are the perfect candidate for a job opening. Simply stating 'I have xx years of experience in doing yy' ... that's nice and stuff, and of course you want a place where you can grow, excel and learn new things ... but how are your skills gonna help us? It shows you've done at least some research into the company (proactive) and know some of its background, products and services. It's part of a cover letter (American style) and not much used in Europe, but the people spending some extra effort always get noticed.
I always sift through resumes like that and people selling themselves properly in a focused way are getting a call first (yes, I'm on the other side of the table, not in HR but I'm part of the panel, so to speak). Of course, after that it depends on their (technical) skills...I'm a codemonkey by day normally so I judge that.
Yeah that's what I'm counting on. I'm enjoying all these different takes on job hunting though.MikeEdward1973 said:I think this is even more true in Resets case since it appears his job is in the visual arts, and his work is related to his portfolio. My guess is if that is indeed the case, even the 5-sentence cover letter he is sending may not be read, and they're going to go straight to his resume & portfolio.
This is what I'm hoping for tomorrow, had my first job interview in over six years today. Don't think it's really what I'm looking for, but it does help to clarify what I want, by contrast of seeing more of what I don't want.MikeEdward1973 said:That happens to everyone that stays at the same job for a long period of time. That 'spell' that that place has on you will begin to break when you actually walk into another company, and sit down for an interview. You'll walk into your current place afterwards, and look at it much differently, with a lot less awe.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.