MikeEdward1973
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2007
- Messages
- 276
- Reaction score
- 9
Good job, keep at it!
go crazy, send out a bunch!
go crazy, send out a bunch!
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
History. I've been in the same place six years. My salary before that is meaningless as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I even remember.MikeEdward1973 said:Well, if he's going to apply to a situation where they're requiring salary history, rather than salary expectations, I would add it.
Again, I hate engaging employers on Monster or CL that ask for that, but if it's a must, I have to assume that if he doesn't include it, he risks having his application discarded.
Reset, are you being asked to submit salary history, or just salary expectations?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
When I was looking for a new job in a new city 2 years ago, I did a new cover letter for every job I applied to. I had a basic format that I use but I would tailor it to the company and posting that I applied for, including hitting the areas that they talk about in their ad.reset said:cool, thanks man. Sent it and that's the format I'll keep using.
I don't mean to nit-pick, but as I re-read this, I realized that there is a grammatical improvement to be made. Please try:reset said:My top priority is job responsibilities and a place where I can personally and professionally grow.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Let's keep in mind that Reset is currently responding to postings on Craigslist or Monster.com. A typical posting on either, depending on the job and the location, will receive between 20 and 200 responses. I know this to be a fact because when a posting goes up for an opening on either of the teams I manage, that is the general range of the number of responses that we get, over a 2 week period.BLebowski said:I don't know if you're sending out open resumes or are focusing on specific advertisements ... but what helps immensely is describing why you are the perfect candidate for a job opening. Simply stating 'I have xx years of experience in doing yy' ... that's nice and stuff, and of course you want a place where you can grow, excel and learn new things ... but how are your skills gonna help us? It shows you've done at least some research into the company (proactive) and know some of its background, products and services. It's part of a cover letter (American style) and not much used in Europe, but the people spending some extra effort always get noticed.
I always sift through resumes like that and people selling themselves properly in a focused way are getting a call first (yes, I'm on the other side of the table, not in HR but I'm part of the panel, so to speak). Of course, after that it depends on their (technical) skills...I'm a codemonkey by day normally so I judge that.
Yeah that's what I'm counting on. I'm enjoying all these different takes on job hunting though.MikeEdward1973 said:I think this is even more true in Resets case since it appears his job is in the visual arts, and his work is related to his portfolio. My guess is if that is indeed the case, even the 5-sentence cover letter he is sending may not be read, and they're going to go straight to his resume & portfolio.
This is what I'm hoping for tomorrow, had my first job interview in over six years today. Don't think it's really what I'm looking for, but it does help to clarify what I want, by contrast of seeing more of what I don't want.MikeEdward1973 said:That happens to everyone that stays at the same job for a long period of time. That 'spell' that that place has on you will begin to break when you actually walk into another company, and sit down for an interview. You'll walk into your current place afterwards, and look at it much differently, with a lot less awe.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.