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woman says she wants to date me but cant because my ex from 5 years ago is her close friend

Jack444

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Can I have some input? Please
I get on really well with a work colleague, me 53 her 47, we often work together. We seem very close and she flirts continually with me.She talks very very sexual to me as I would expect a girlfriend to I feel we would get on together and as we are both single, I asked her out on a date 3 weeks ago. She immediately replied that she really really liked me and would date me 100% if my ex from 5 years ago was not her close friend. She said I was just what she wanted, and was really interested in dating but wanted to think it over because she would loose her friend if she dated me. She said she would let me know the day after. Three weeks later she has said nothing to me but flirts like mad and touches me but just has not said anything. Would you ask her out again or is her saying nothing a NO.... But she still flirts and gets close to me and acts like she does really want to be with me... Any help is very appreciated. Thank you.
 

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Robert28

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47 and acting 27. Good lord this woman. Tell her to grow the f up. When she flirts with you next time just remind her “I don’t think your friend would like you flirting with me”. Throw it back in her face.
 

Jack444

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47 and acting 27. Good lord this woman. Tell her to grow the f up. When she flirts with you next time just remind her “I don’t think your friend would like you flirting with me”. Throw it back in her face.
Good info, many thanks
 

Mbuckets82

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She likes your attention so take it away. She thinks you’re ok with how things are at work because that’s what you communicated by flirting back after she turned you down.
If that attraction is real once you cut back, she’s gonna come to you. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. Move on.
 

Jack444

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She likes your attention so take it away. She thinks you’re ok with how things are at work because that’s what you communicated by flirting back after she turned you down.
If that attraction is real once you cut back, she’s gonna come to you. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. Move on.
Thank you for this
 

Jack444

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Whatever you do, report back about the result. That’s how others learn and you learn. Women as you see in their 40’s can still act like they did in their 20’s so it applies across age groups.
Good luck.
Yes, I will. I've had several LTRs etc so I normally can sort of work things out, but she just seems to really like me but is not giving me the OK, which I presume is a no. Many thanks.
 

Lookatu

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She likes your attention so take it away. She thinks you’re ok with how things are at work because that’s what you communicated by flirting back after she turned you down.
If that attraction is real once you cut back, she’s gonna come to you. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. Move on.
This.

But in my opinion, if she was super interested in you, she wouldn't be giving excuses and have already gone out with you. What I see is low interest and an attention wh0re at her age. She likes the attention and since you guys are coworkers, she probably thinks it makes the day go by faster by using you in that way to make work fun.

Remember, action over words. Words are cheap and used often times to manipulate men(and women) into doing certain things for THEM. Not you. The only thing you get is a slight feeling of dopamine or high from what you heard out of her mouth. Nothing else.

PLUS... at your age, think about dating ANY coworkers twice as it can ruin careers with the #metoo movement if things go sour. They will always have the upper hand when it comes to the workplace and sexual harassment. I'm saying this as we all know, the older we get, the less marketable we are in the job place as there will always be younger guys that are more amibitious, single, willing to work more for less.
 

Jack444

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This.

But in my opinion, if she was super interested in you, she wouldn't be giving excuses and have already gone out with you. What I see is low interest and an attention wh0re at her age. She likes the attention and since you guys are coworkers, she probably thinks it makes the day go by faster by using you in that way to make work fun.

Remember, action over words. Words are cheap and used often times to manipulate men(and women) into doing certain things for THEM. Not you. The only thing you get is a slight feeling of dopamine or high from what you heard out of her mouth. Nothing else.

PLUS... at your age, think about dating ANY coworkers twice as it can ruin careers with the #metoo movement if things go sour. They will always have the upper hand when it comes to the workplace and sexual harassment. I'm saying this as we all know, the older we get, the less marketable we are in the job place as there will always be younger guys that are more amibitious, single, willing to work more for less.
Thank you for this advice
 

Jack444

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47 and acting 27. Good lord this woman. Tell her to grow the f up. When she flirts with you next time just remind her “I don’t think your friend would like you flirting with me”. Throw it back in her face.
Thank you for your advice
 

Jack444

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This.

But in my opinion, if she was super interested in you, she wouldn't be giving excuses and have already gone out with you. What I see is low interest and an attention wh0re at her age. She likes the attention and since you guys are coworkers, she probably thinks it makes the day go by faster by using you in that way to make work fun.

Remember, action over words. Words are cheap and used often times to manipulate men(and women) into doing certain things for THEM. Not you. The only thing you get is a slight feeling of dopamine or high from what you heard out of her mouth. Nothing else.

PLUS... at your age, think about dating ANY coworkers twice as it can ruin careers with the #metoo movement if things go sour. They will always have the upper hand when it comes to the workplace and sexual harassment. I'm saying this as we all know, the older we get, the less marketable we are in the job place as there will always be younger guys that are more amibitious, single, willing to work more for less.
Thank you for your advice
 

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SW15

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PLUS... at your age, think about dating ANY coworkers twice as it can ruin careers with the #metoo movement if things go sour. They will always have the upper hand when it comes to the workplace and sexual harassment. I'm saying this as we all know, the older we get, the less marketable we are in the job place as there will always be younger guys that are more amibitious, single, willing to work more for less.
At 53, it is HIGHLY unadvisable to date any co-worker due to termination risk, especially in a white collar occupation. Although people 50-64 do not get laid off as much as those in their 20s/30s, when they get laid off, re-employment is near impossible. Unless you would like to be involuntary retired at 53/54, I would suggest looking elsewhere.

This situation has too many red flags.
 

Jack444

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At 53, it is HIGHLY unadvisable to date any co-worker due to termination risk, especially in a white collar occupation. Although people 50-64 do not get laid off as much as those in their 20s/30s, when they get laid off, re-employment is near impossible. Unless you would like to be involuntary retired at 53/54, I would suggest looking elsewhere.

This situation has too many red flags.
Thank you for this advice
 

bat soup

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Summary:

a work colleague. ...flirts ...with me....I asked her out on a date 3 weeks ago. She gave me a bull**** excuse. Then she said she would let me know tomorrow, but three weeks later she has said nothing

My analysis:

She just wants attention and has no intention of ever going out with you. It's best to forget her and stop giving her attention at work.
 

Jack444

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Summary:

a work colleague. ...flirts ...with me....I asked her out on a date 3 weeks ago. She gave me a bull**** excuse. Then she said she would let me know tomorrow, but three weeks later she has said nothing

My analysis:

She just wants attention and has no intention of ever going out with you. It's best to forget her and stop giving her attention at work.
Many thanks for your advice
 

MatureDJ

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Maybe you just need to take a shower, bro.
 
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