Woman reschedules date then tries to change location at last minute. I cancel

[Glassguy]

@BackInTheGame78

I agree with your theory but I would have handled things a little different. If there has been a good vibe and she had been showing a lot of interest leading up to the date (lots of texts, good communication, fast responses, etc) and I thought she was very attractive and dtf, I would have probably met her at the other place if it wasnt way out of the way.

"Sure that sounds good. I will meet you there".

On the flip side- if she has been really non existent for the past week, which shows low interest, I would have just NOT responded to her message other than "Sorry, I am still planning on still going to such and such place. Enjoy your evening".

Thats it. I would not come across as butt hurt or call her out. You now know how she is, so why burn a bridge by calling her out? Also, you are showing a strong frame and still NOT canceling the date if you just tell her you are going to the place you picked but she is still welcomed to meet you there. She could have very well said "On second thought I will meet you at the place you picked" and then go from there.

From that point forward, if she didnt agree to the place I picked, if she reached out again, I would simply invite her to my place for a drink. Her "date" option passed her by.

On one side of the coin you did what you felt was good for you but on the other side of the coin you could have done things differently (above) and still passed a shyte test and STILL met up with her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@BackInTheGame78

I agree with your theory but I would have handled things a little different. If there has been a good vibe and she had been showing a lot of interest leading up to the date (lots of texts, good communication, fast responses, etc) and I thought she was very attractive and dtf, I would have probably met her at the other place if it wasnt way out of the way.

"Sure that sounds good. I will meet you there".

On the flip side- if she has been really non existent for the past week, which shows low interest, I would have just NOT responded to her message other than "Sorry, I am still planning on still going to such and such place. Enjoy your evening".

Thats it. I would not come across as butt hurt or call her out. You now know how she is, so why burn a bridge by calling her out? Also, you are showing a strong frame and still NOT canceling the date if you just tell her you are going to the place you picked but she is still welcomed to meet you there. She could have very well said "On second thought I will meet you at the place you picked" and then go from there.

From that point forward, if she didnt agree to the place I picked, if she reached out again, I would simply invite her to my place for a drink. Her "date" option passed her by.

On one side of the coin you did what you felt was good for you but on the other side of the coin you could have done things differently (above) and still passed a shyte test and STILL met up with her.

But that is kind of my point. The whole interaction turned me off to the point that I DIDN'T WANT to meet her anymore.

Agreed if my goal was to just get her out I could have handled it differently. At this point I just lost interest because

A) She wasn't that hot
B) She seemed like far more work than what she was worth

 

[Lookatu]

A) She wasn't that hot
B) She seemed like far more work than what she was worth

Man you just described like 80% of the girls out there. LOL

 

[EyeBRollin]

This is a tactical error in my opinion. The #1 objective is to get the date and have logistics set up for sex to happen. So unless she suggested a 5 star steakhouse, you play along with her suggestion and go pick her up at her house.

EDIT: missed you said only an hour before the date. Oh no, you were correct. My advice above is for when guys are locking/planning the date, not last minute changes. Well done, OP.

 

[RangerMIke]

*Her asking me questions about myself and then qualifying herself to me.

I think I know what this is but was is 'qualifying' exactly. Is this selling herself and bragging about herself. If so I completely agree. For me this is a pretty big deal, if a woman is bragging about herself, some men look at this as her just being self-absorbed. It could be, but the key to knowing if she is selling herself to you is if what she is saying comes way out of left field that is somehow impressive. And it is something she thinks might impress you.

General bragging doesn't necessarily mean anything, but if it is something she thinks might impress you then this is a good sign.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You aren't great at reading between the lines and therefore get caught in these verbal confrontations.

What was I to read between the lines?

To me it said:
I don't want to make the effort to meet you halfway, I want you to come here.

 

[powersize]

Corey Wayne actually has a great way to deal with this and the dude is calm as fck with it.
He gets no love here i get it but the medium is the message. Its still good

Agree. He sets the cool I don't care frame which could work in that situation. I actually follow a couple of his advices how to spot her interest level.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What you read between the lines is that she is getting anxious and flaky and the way to deal with the situation like that is to back off and not try to force the issue.

I didn't force anything. She disqualified herself to me and I walked away.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well, you asked for advice for a situation you've already made up your mind on

I'm not really sure I asked for advice, I just posted what happened.

Yes I agree I could have handled it differently but by that point I felt like she was just more trouble than she was worth for a woman who I haven't met yet and wasn't that hot to begin with.

 

[Solomon]

Was supposed to meet this woman last Tuesday, she was forced to stay late at work and asks to reschedule for the next day. I tell her I have plans that day and it won't work. Then she asks what about Friday...tell her I am busy til next week and we make plans for today.

Now the location has been set for almost a week and a half at this point and an hour before the time we are supposed to meet she texts me and says she doesn't like that place and if I can meet her at this other place which happens to be in her town.

No. F that.

So I let her know that if this date goes well maybe we can check out that other place another time but that I will be at the original location at 7 and I will see her there.

She says "Wow".

So at this point I am not even interested in meeting someone this entitled and tell her

"On second thought enjoy your evening at XYZ. First you reschedule and now you try and change the location at the last minute. If you are this difficult before meeting I can't imagine what it will be like after. Take care."

To which she replies "How rude!"

No b!tch. What is rude is you thinking I am going to let you dictate how things are going to go and that I am going to drive to all the way to you so you can be 5 minutes from home and put in no effort and expect me to pay.

No time for this type of BS in my life. She is a headache waiting to happen for someone and it won't be me. Either you get compliance or you walk.

This is what having more dates than you know what to do with allows you to do. If they don't get with your program from the get go they can kick rocks.

I was in a similar situation, the girl wanted to meet 10 minutes from her town except she changed the location a few hours before
However I didn't meet her when she asked "Are you sure you want to meet?" or "Do you want to still meet" mind you this is when I called to confirm it was an odd question that I typically don't get from women so it raised a redflag needless to say I didn't meet her

 

[Deranged]

-heavy hitter with good rep makes thread
-proves that even the most experienced can make honest mistakes
-users forget he consistently gives good advice (look at that msg to reaction score ratio)
-gets shvt on

This forum is gold

edit; i'm retarded and now realize this was a 2 year dig up.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

-heavy hitter with good rep makes thread
-proves that even the most experienced can make honest mistakes
-users forget he consistently gives good advice (look at that msg to reaction score ratio)
-gets shvt on

This forum is gold

To get through life you have to learn to think for yourself dude.

Also, your country is a hat. Very Canadian of you to emphasize reaction score...

 

[Deranged]

To get through life you have to learn to think for yourself dude.

Also, your country is a hat. Very Canadian of you to emphasize reaction score...

plz invade us

 

[Deranged]

To get through life you have to learn to think for yourself dude.

Also, your country is a hat. Very Canadian of you to emphasize reaction score...

how did you add in the; Very Canadian of you to emphasize reaction score... without it being an edit?

I won't even bother defending that at the risk of this topic getting shut down for going off topic.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

-heavy hitter with good rep makes thread
-proves that even the most experienced can make honest mistakes
-users forget he consistently gives good advice (look at that msg to reaction score ratio)
-gets shvt on

This forum is gold

edit; i'm retarded and now realize this was a 2 year dig up.

Haha, I totally forgot about this thread until I saw it revived this morning.

It's all good man, I don't mind people seeing that nobody is perfect with decisions in regards to how to handle things all the time. Sometimes it's easy to see when you aren't in the situation itself but not so clear when you are in the middle of it.

As long as a person learns a lesson from a situation and doesn't make the same mistake again it was a worthwhile lesson.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Haha, I totally forgot about this thread until I saw it revived this morning.

It's all good man, I don't mind people seeing that nobody is perfect with decisions in regards to how to handle things all the time. Sometimes it's easy to see when you aren't in the situation itself but not so clear when you are in the middle of it.

As long as a person learns a lesson from a situation and doesn't make the same mistake again it was a worthwhile lesson.

3 years from, would have handled it differently? Did this chick ever contact you again?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

3 years from, would have handled it differently? Did this chick ever contact you again?

I probably would have been more chill about it. However I think she just wasn't interested or was more interested in someone else and wanted to make it easier on herself to get there and back with minimal effort.

Nope, never heard from her again.

 

[Pedrito0906]

I probably would have been more chill about it. However I think she just wasn't interested or was more interested in someone else and wanted to make it easier on herself to get there and back with minimal effort.

Nope, never heard from her again.

Probably no other guy has telling her what you wrote.

 

[Robert28]

I probably would have been more chill about it. However I think she just wasn't interested or was more interested in someone else and wanted to make it easier on herself to get there and back with minimal effort.

Nope, never heard from her again.

Why didn’t you reach out and ask to set something up? Remember you told me I should have reached out to a woman who cancelled on me last min on the second date. Lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why didn’t you reach out and ask to set something up? Remember you told me I should have reached out to a woman who cancelled on me last min on the second date. Lol

Did you not actually read what happened? I canceled on her.