"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Woman lowering her value.

Punkisdead83

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So I've been texting this girl for a day or so and she constantly devalues herself. She refers to herself as boring, lame, not with it, etc. My instinct tells me she's trying to scare me off, yet she keeps sending me messages. What should be my next move?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

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I agree with Uncharted, but for the record, there is no reason a woman would degrade herself to keep you, just to push you away. However, these are all just words, so if she says yes to a date, then throw all that büllṣhit out the window.

Actions, not words, always.
 

Punkisdead83

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Asked her to meet up Friday. She's working and her dad is supposed to be visiting out of town. Keep the plate spinning and work on the next one?
 

VladPatton

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She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Punkisdead83

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.
Fair enough, will do. Still trying to get the hang of this stuff, thanks.!
 

lamobatsman

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.

what do you mean do not invest money into a date just yet?
 

Zerro

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one.
Yeah, lack of a counteroffer is a red flag. A counteroffer is fine as long as she sticks to it and doesn't keep pushing it further into the future.
 

Down Low

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Man lowering his value.

Punkisdead83 said:
So I've been texting this girl for a day or so...
If you can text, you have her number and can call. You text because you're so afraid of rejection that you can't even talk. She smells this on you and she's attributing your bad qualities to herself because she's a woman and can't handle direct confrontation. Replace the "I'm" with "you're" and it becomes painfully obvious that punk is not dead -- you're the punk and you're punking out.

Next time, keep it all face-to-face convos. When you do call, make it strictly business: limit the call to the when/where of your next meeting. No texts, no Fakebook, no gossip through third parties -- no punking.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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