"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Woman lowering her value.

Punkisdead83

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So I've been texting this girl for a day or so and she constantly devalues herself. She refers to herself as boring, lame, not with it, etc. My instinct tells me she's trying to scare me off, yet she keeps sending me messages. What should be my next move?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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VladPatton

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I agree with Uncharted, but for the record, there is no reason a woman would degrade herself to keep you, just to push you away. However, these are all just words, so if she says yes to a date, then throw all that büllṣhit out the window.

Actions, not words, always.
 

Punkisdead83

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Asked her to meet up Friday. She's working and her dad is supposed to be visiting out of town. Keep the plate spinning and work on the next one?
 

VladPatton

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She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Punkisdead83

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.
Fair enough, will do. Still trying to get the hang of this stuff, thanks.!
 

lamobatsman

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one. Ask again in the middle of next week to meet you for a drink/coffee (do NOT invest money into a date just yet). If she büllṣhits her way out of it again (without a counter offer) then that's all folks, and you walk away.

what do you mean do not invest money into a date just yet?
 

Zerro

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VladPatton said:
She had no counter offer? That's strike one.
Yeah, lack of a counteroffer is a red flag. A counteroffer is fine as long as she sticks to it and doesn't keep pushing it further into the future.
 

Down Low

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Man lowering his value.

Punkisdead83 said:
So I've been texting this girl for a day or so...
If you can text, you have her number and can call. You text because you're so afraid of rejection that you can't even talk. She smells this on you and she's attributing your bad qualities to herself because she's a woman and can't handle direct confrontation. Replace the "I'm" with "you're" and it becomes painfully obvious that punk is not dead -- you're the punk and you're punking out.

Next time, keep it all face-to-face convos. When you do call, make it strictly business: limit the call to the when/where of your next meeting. No texts, no Fakebook, no gossip through third parties -- no punking.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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