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Woman I am dating is stressed about family issues, effecting when we are together. Options for handling?

BackInTheGame78

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It’s courteous to do as he did. They weren’t dating for one or two weeks but rather for 3 months. There’s no need to be a jack ass and besides he’d look butthurt if he simply vanished or rambled on ad nauseum so a middle path is the most balanced and socially calibrated response.

Additionally he does not burn the bridge with her. Once her life straightens out he’s left the door open to future interactions. He loses nothing in doing this.

Nuance people. Interactions between people are nuanced. @BackInTheGame78 understands that. There is much instructive for other readers in the way he has handled the situation, which I think he did in a mature & adroit way.
The truth is I feel her life just got too crazy with some family issues, she is a teacher and is stressed about what's going to happen this year with going back to school or how that's all going to work and I think fitting me into all that became a source of stress for her instead of what was once stress relief.

I am not mad or bitter or anything. I think sometimes life just gets in the way too much...some people are built to handle that better than others.

I'm not sure there was really anything else I could have done to have changed this outcome. I guess we will see what happens in the future.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BeExcellent

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The truth is I feel her life just got too crazy with some family issues, she is a teacher and is stressed about what's going to happen this year with going back to school or how that's all going to work and I think fitting me into all that became a source of stress for her instead of what was once stress relief.

I am not mad or bitter or anything. I think sometimes life just gets in the way too much...some people are built to handle that better than others.

I'm not sure there was really anything else I could have done to have changed this outcome.
That makes sense. One of my sisters is a high school teacher. It is an absolute cluster fvck from the state level all the way down to the district level and school level. She is like WTF

You did what you could. It is what it is.
 

Alvafe

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It’s courteous to do as he did. They weren’t dating for one or two weeks but rather for 3 months. There’s no need to be a jack ass and besides he’d look butthurt if he simply vanished or rambled on ad nauseum so a middle path is the most balanced and socially calibrated response.

Additionally he does not burn the bridge with her. Once her life straightens out he’s left the door open to future interactions. He loses nothing in doing this.

Nuance people. Interactions between people are nuanced. @BackInTheGame78 understands that. There is much instructive for other readers in the way he has handled the situation, which I think he did in a mature & adroit way.
here is the thing for me he rambled, remember it was in a msg, she wasn't even interested in doing this in person, I normally try to mimic or mirro the degree of effort of certain people when dealing with this, her effort was minimum so I would do the same, but I also follow the you only had one chance blow it and it never again, also I hadly care what she would think, I do things who would benefit me long sap msg or over explaining or letting the door open don't benefit me
 

BackInTheGame78

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here is the thing for me he rambled, remember it was in a msg, she wasn't even interested in doing this in person, I normally try to mimic or mirro the degree of effort of certain people when dealing with this, her effort was minimum so I would do the same, but I also follow the you only had one chance blow it and it never again, also I hadly care what she would think, I do things who would benefit me long sap msg or over explaining or letting the door open don't benefit me
I am glad it wasn't in person. I don't have time to waste on that nonsense!
 

2Rocky

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I think you ended it well, leaving the door open for the future if things straighten out on her end. Give her 6 months of no contact on your part and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that she will reach out to you before then. Sometimes you just gotta say "It's not MY problem."
 
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