"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Woman at Swimming Pool

Tyrion

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There’s a woman at my local swimming pool that I’ve started some light conversations when in the pool in the last weeks.
I guess she’s early forties and she said she has a son. There’s no wedding ring, but that could be not wearing it for swimming.
Last week and this week she’s initiating light conversations when taking a short breather in the pool.
I’m swimming because it’s something I enjoy. I’m not there to try and pickup women, but open to opportunities if they present themselves.

I’m interested, but uncertain how to proceed.
Next Saturday is my last swimming session I’ll see her before I go away on holiday. It’ll be 3 weeks before I’ll see her in the pool again.

Do I mention to her that I’m going away or just disappear for a few weeks?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Clockwerk50

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There’s a woman at my local swimming pool that I’ve started some light conversations when in the pool in the last weeks.
I guess she’s early forties and she said she has a son. There’s no wedding ring, but that could be not wearing it for swimming.
Last week and this week she’s initiating light conversations when taking a short breather in the pool.
I’m swimming because it’s something I enjoy. I’m not there to try and pickup women, but open to opportunities if they present themselves.

I’m interested, but uncertain how to proceed.
Next Saturday is my last swimming session I’ll see her before I go away on holiday. It’ll be 3 weeks before I’ll see her in the pool again.

Do I mention to her that I’m going away or just disappear for a few weeks?
“Hey by any chance want do you want to meet up for a coffee outside of this building?

Take life by the horns.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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There’s a woman at my local swimming pool that I’ve started some light conversations when in the pool in the last weeks.
I guess she’s early forties and she said she has a son. There’s no wedding ring, but that could be not wearing it for swimming.
Last week and this week she’s initiating light conversations when taking a short breather in the pool.
I’m swimming because it’s something I enjoy. I’m not there to try and pickup women, but open to opportunities if they present themselves.

I’m interested, but uncertain how to proceed.
Next Saturday is my last swimming session I’ll see her before I go away on holiday. It’ll be 3 weeks before I’ll see her in the pool again.

Do I mention to her that I’m going away or just disappear for a few weeks?
just ask if she wants to grab a drink or something
 

FlexpertHamilton

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there's not much to analyze, ask her to grab a c0cktail or wine or smthn. but it would be effective to have a good date, then get her thinking about you for 3 weeks then smash when you get back.

“Hey by any chance want do you want to meet up for a coffee outside of this building?

Take life by the horns.
coffee? no. has any man ever banged a women after a coffee date?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Clockwerk50

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there's not much to analyze, ask her to grab a c0cktail or wine or smthn. but it would be effective to have a good date, then get her thinking about you for 3 weeks then smash when you get back.


coffee? no. has any man ever banged a women after a coffee date?
yea you are right.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP one option is to mention your travel holiday as a DHV and build up intrigue about your trip. Then she can ask you about it when you get back and see her in the pool, and ask her out then once you've built up more interest and rapport. It might be optimal logistically to broach meeting up when you get back from vacation.

You could ask her out now and then mention the trip when discussing scheduling, but the logistics aren't good for building up buying temp and striking while the iron's hot.
 

Tyrion

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Saw her today after the Christmas break. Asked her how her Christmas was and she mentioned something about her husband.
After that she did her usual thing of waiting for me to catch up before starting the next length with a beaming smile so that we end up doing the same number of lengths.
Waited for me at the end of the session so she could say bye.

Maybe she’s just flirting, however for me as she’s married flirting is as far as it will go.
 

Bokanovsky

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Saw her today after the Christmas break. Asked her how her Christmas was and she mentioned something about her husband.
After that she did her usual thing of waiting for me to catch up before starting the next length with a beaming smile so that we end up doing the same number of lengths.
Waited for me at the end of the session so she could say bye.

Maybe she’s just flirting, however for me as she’s married flirting is as far as it will go.
Attention wh0re
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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