"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Will I get lucky?

Coppaia

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Okey guys, so here it goes.

I am working at this restaurant and I have gotten smitten with one of the waitresses. We have often gone out together and there has always been a flirtatious tone between us. In a couple of weeks time she will be leaving for Asia and the flirting has escalated. A few weeks ago she invited me too a party at her place, but she lives a long way away so I didn't bother going. then the next week all of the restaurants at the promenade held a joint party and I went hard in for the kill. My game was on and I thought it was a done deal, however, no matter how slick I was I never managed to seal the deal with a proper kiss - she always backed out. And then it got even worse as I saw her making out with another guy. I took it on the chin and just accepted that this is part of the dance and maybe that I got too self-assured, and now she is putting me in my place so to speak.

A few days later we went out on a date and it was awesome. I would make sexual jokes and inuendoes and she would laugh but didn't reciprocate. I used kino actively and she seemed to appreciate it, but again wouldn't return the favor. This put me out a bit, so when the time came for us to part I didn't go in for the kiss. We had a lingering hug and she invited me to her place this weekend. A few days ago she rescheduled our date for next week, but now she has changed the whole nature of the date into a get together with other people also joining!

She has told me on an earlier occasion that she likes to work for it. After the party where she made-out with this other guy, I decided therefore to pick up again my flirting with another waitress and by this playing her up against "my woman". I also went out on a date with a friend of another waitress because I knew "my woman" would hear about this. I have however, while doing these things, always been careful to throw her enough rope for her not to give up or lose interest. By judging her body language she seems uncomfortable when I flirt with other women and she seems genuinely infatuated with me, but still she wont gear things up.

As an endnote I should add that she is quite a libertarian, and I know for a fact that she has a quite relaxed view on sex.

Okay, so now you have the background. The frustrating thing is that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. So please, all of you Djs out there and help this foot sore old schmuck tired of dancing.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Tictac

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Libertarian? I think you mean libertine. Whatever. How do you know 'as a fact'? What someone else said?

If you're this far down the road, no further along than you are and after a lot of effort and she's leaving, your time is short. Enjoy the game. Just don't bet large.
 

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
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Seems like she has low interest. Move along.
 

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like a lot of effort spent on one girl who isn't giving you what you want. You tried already to get it, you've put in far more time than she deserves for not putting out or letting you escalate, I would agree she has low IL but is feeling you out as a orbiter.
 
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marmel75

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No. Based on the thread title you already view her as the prize meaning you've already lost.

You sound like you'd make a nice friend tho...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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