"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Will I get lucky?

Coppaia

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Okey guys, so here it goes.

I am working at this restaurant and I have gotten smitten with one of the waitresses. We have often gone out together and there has always been a flirtatious tone between us. In a couple of weeks time she will be leaving for Asia and the flirting has escalated. A few weeks ago she invited me too a party at her place, but she lives a long way away so I didn't bother going. then the next week all of the restaurants at the promenade held a joint party and I went hard in for the kill. My game was on and I thought it was a done deal, however, no matter how slick I was I never managed to seal the deal with a proper kiss - she always backed out. And then it got even worse as I saw her making out with another guy. I took it on the chin and just accepted that this is part of the dance and maybe that I got too self-assured, and now she is putting me in my place so to speak.

A few days later we went out on a date and it was awesome. I would make sexual jokes and inuendoes and she would laugh but didn't reciprocate. I used kino actively and she seemed to appreciate it, but again wouldn't return the favor. This put me out a bit, so when the time came for us to part I didn't go in for the kiss. We had a lingering hug and she invited me to her place this weekend. A few days ago she rescheduled our date for next week, but now she has changed the whole nature of the date into a get together with other people also joining!

She has told me on an earlier occasion that she likes to work for it. After the party where she made-out with this other guy, I decided therefore to pick up again my flirting with another waitress and by this playing her up against "my woman". I also went out on a date with a friend of another waitress because I knew "my woman" would hear about this. I have however, while doing these things, always been careful to throw her enough rope for her not to give up or lose interest. By judging her body language she seems uncomfortable when I flirt with other women and she seems genuinely infatuated with me, but still she wont gear things up.

As an endnote I should add that she is quite a libertarian, and I know for a fact that she has a quite relaxed view on sex.

Okay, so now you have the background. The frustrating thing is that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. So please, all of you Djs out there and help this foot sore old schmuck tired of dancing.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Tictac

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Libertarian? I think you mean libertine. Whatever. How do you know 'as a fact'? What someone else said?

If you're this far down the road, no further along than you are and after a lot of effort and she's leaving, your time is short. Enjoy the game. Just don't bet large.
 

dustmuffin

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Seems like she has low interest. Move along.
 

thatfeel

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Sounds like a lot of effort spent on one girl who isn't giving you what you want. You tried already to get it, you've put in far more time than she deserves for not putting out or letting you escalate, I would agree she has low IL but is feeling you out as a orbiter.
 
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marmel75

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No. Based on the thread title you already view her as the prize meaning you've already lost.

You sound like you'd make a nice friend tho...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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