"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Will I get lucky?

Coppaia

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Okey guys, so here it goes.

I am working at this restaurant and I have gotten smitten with one of the waitresses. We have often gone out together and there has always been a flirtatious tone between us. In a couple of weeks time she will be leaving for Asia and the flirting has escalated. A few weeks ago she invited me too a party at her place, but she lives a long way away so I didn't bother going. then the next week all of the restaurants at the promenade held a joint party and I went hard in for the kill. My game was on and I thought it was a done deal, however, no matter how slick I was I never managed to seal the deal with a proper kiss - she always backed out. And then it got even worse as I saw her making out with another guy. I took it on the chin and just accepted that this is part of the dance and maybe that I got too self-assured, and now she is putting me in my place so to speak.

A few days later we went out on a date and it was awesome. I would make sexual jokes and inuendoes and she would laugh but didn't reciprocate. I used kino actively and she seemed to appreciate it, but again wouldn't return the favor. This put me out a bit, so when the time came for us to part I didn't go in for the kiss. We had a lingering hug and she invited me to her place this weekend. A few days ago she rescheduled our date for next week, but now she has changed the whole nature of the date into a get together with other people also joining!

She has told me on an earlier occasion that she likes to work for it. After the party where she made-out with this other guy, I decided therefore to pick up again my flirting with another waitress and by this playing her up against "my woman". I also went out on a date with a friend of another waitress because I knew "my woman" would hear about this. I have however, while doing these things, always been careful to throw her enough rope for her not to give up or lose interest. By judging her body language she seems uncomfortable when I flirt with other women and she seems genuinely infatuated with me, but still she wont gear things up.

As an endnote I should add that she is quite a libertarian, and I know for a fact that she has a quite relaxed view on sex.

Okay, so now you have the background. The frustrating thing is that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. So please, all of you Djs out there and help this foot sore old schmuck tired of dancing.
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tictac

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Libertarian? I think you mean libertine. Whatever. How do you know 'as a fact'? What someone else said?

If you're this far down the road, no further along than you are and after a lot of effort and she's leaving, your time is short. Enjoy the game. Just don't bet large.
 

dustmuffin

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Seems like she has low interest. Move along.
 

thatfeel

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Sounds like a lot of effort spent on one girl who isn't giving you what you want. You tried already to get it, you've put in far more time than she deserves for not putting out or letting you escalate, I would agree she has low IL but is feeling you out as a orbiter.
 
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marmel75

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No. Based on the thread title you already view her as the prize meaning you've already lost.

You sound like you'd make a nice friend tho...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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