Wild Oats

[Money & Muscle]

is the lack of variety of sex the only reason youre looking else where?

I get plenty of variety. About as much as I could ask for of one woman... which is exactly where the lack of variety comes in.

I was a virgin before I married my wife; I've been with one person.

I don't want to leave my wife, truly. I don't even really have much for complaints about her now either. It's that I'm at a buffet and can only eat one thing; even if that one thing is really good - I still want to try other things too.

I want to fvck other women - like every man does. I want to get into threesomes. I worked so damned hard to get where I am, I just want to enjoy more than one flavor of ice cream, even if I still have my favorite flavor readily available.

Yeah, I know, I know - it's immature and all that. I just don't want to lose out on my best, most attractive years, without at least experiencing sex with some women that aren't my wife. I'd be disappointed to be on my deathbed with a notch count of 1.

I haven't talked to her about this, at least not this directly. I've made it clear for some time that I want a threesome, but that only works if she wants it too. I could get her to agree to it now, but coercion isn't the right way to do that; it has to be something she wants to do (even if just for me).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I get plenty of variety. About as much as I could ask for of one woman... which is exactly where the lack of variety comes in.

I was a virgin before I married my wife; I've been with one person.

I don't want to leave my wife, truly. I don't even really have much for complaints about her now either. It's that I'm at a buffet and can only eat one thing; even if that one thing is really good - I still want to try other things too.

I want to fvck other women - like every man does. I want to get into threesomes. I worked so damned hard to get where I am, I just want to enjoy more than one flavor of ice cream, even if I still have my favorite flavor readily available.

Yeah, I know, I know - it's immature and all that. I just don't want to lose out on my best, most attractive years, without at least experiencing sex with some women that aren't my wife. I'd be disappointed to be on my deathbed with a notch count of 1.

I haven't talked to her about this, at least not this directly. I've made it clear for some time that I want a threesome, but that only works if she wants it too. I could get her to agree to it now, but coercion isn't the right way to do that; it has to be something she wants to do (even if just for me).

That is a very dangerous proposition and one you will likely end up regretting if she agrees to it(even if she is all for it).

That's an even bigger Pandora's Box

 

[Money & Muscle]

That is a very dangerous proposition and one you will likely end up regretting if she agrees to it(even if she is all for it).

That's an even bigger Pandora's Box

I'd actually like to hear some experiences on this. Do you think that's better suited for a new thread?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd actually like to hear some experiences on this. Do you think that's better suited for a new thread?

Probably so

 

[Ricky]

Yeah we can talk about all the danger of threesomes. I was in a stable happy marriage until my sex fantasies set off my wife.

there were other things that happened before it that played a role i am sure but the fantasy didnt help

 

[member162951]

I don't want to leave my wife, truly. I don't even really have much for complaints about her now either. It's that I'm at a buffet and can only eat one thing; even if that one thing is really good - I still want to try other things too.

I want to fvck other women - like every man does. I want to get into threesomes. I worked so damned hard to get where I am, I just want to enjoy more than one flavor of ice cream, even if I still have my favorite flavor readily available.

Hey @Money & Muscle what's bolded above, have you told your wife this? It's sounds like you have somewhat of an open communication with her so why not talk to her about it? I mean, it's honest, it's real.

After how many years married (sounds like many), this speaks volumes! I don't know many men (or women) who have virtually no complaints about their partner after numerous years together.

Anyway to me, what's bolded sounds somewhat reasonable so not gonna negatively judge you for it. I mean c'mon, you were only 21 and a virgin when you married, so it's natural to wonder about other women.

The only problem I forsee is once you start banging hot young chicks and the sex is really good, the sex (and the girl) may start messing with your brain, you may develop, gasp, feelings, which will bring on a whole slew of different problems that threaten the marital foundation.

It's certainly a risk, are you willing to take that risk?

Don't lie to your wife about it, go behind her back. C'mon man that's just scuzzy.

Perhaps the moral of this story for anonymous posters reading is - do NOT get married at 21 and still a virgin. Experience a bit of life first, other women etc.

Anyway good luck man whatever you decide to do.


.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Perhaps the moral of this story for anonymous posters reading is - do NOT get married at 21 and still a virgin. Experience a bit of life first, other women etc.

There's no question about it. Even if I ended up in the same place I am today, being with other women first would have allowed me to not be sitting here in the buffet, wondering what other foods taste like.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

There's no question about it. Even if I ended up in the same place I am today, being with other women first would have allowed me to not be sitting here in the buffet, wondering what other foods taste like.

Not if you weren’t desirable at a younger age, if you’d had options at 21 you would have exercised them.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Not if you weren’t desirable at a younger age, if you’d had options at 21 you would have exercised them.

Well, right.

I meant that my wild oats would have already been sown. What I want, is something I've never experienced; for all I know - I'm expecting something that just isn't there.

Had I had options before, and exercised them, I wouldn't be yearning for an unknown. Maybe what I want is real, maybe it isn't - to me, it's real until proven otherwise... that's my issue.

So the moral being: don't marry as a virgin. At least, that's what I learned of this.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I married with a lay count in the teens, I still wasn’t happy. Here I am years later with a triple
digit count but I miss home life - certainly not while I’m railing the fack out of the hottie de’jour, but that’s a few hours, not my whole existence.

Life is about choices, we’re all free to make our own. What we are not free of is their consequences.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I married with a lay count in the teens, I still wasn’t happy. Here I am years later with a triple
digit count but I miss home life - certainly not while I’m railing the fack out of the hottie de’jour, but that’s a few hours, not my whole existence.

Life is about choices, we’re all free to make our own. What we are not free of is their consequences.

I think we're talking past each other a bit.

I agree with you. Body count doesn't determine happiness. I just mean that having those experiences (that every man wants) before marriage is definitely advisable, compared to wanting those experiences once you're already married.

 

[member162951]

I agree with you. Body count doesn't determine happiness. I just mean that having those experiences (that every man wants) before marriage is definitely advisable, compared to wanting those experiences once you're already married.

Exactly...You gotta experience what you are missing to know what you're not missing.

Not sure that was worded properly but hopefully yall know what I mean.

I still say talk to your wife!

 

[Divorced w 3]

I walked away from mid six figures for a 50% pay cut with upside, filed for divorce, then told my 9 figure net worth former father in law I would rather do it the hard way when he tried to get tough with me, and fired my business partner and continue to deal with that, in that order, so you’re asking the wrong guy if you’re looking to take the easy way out.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I think we're talking past each other a bit.

I agree with you. Body count doesn't determine happiness. I just mean that having those experiences (that every man wants) before marriage is definitely advisable, compared to wanting those experiences once you're already married.

Well to not mince words this is about your marriage, and protecting something you value. Would you sacrifice it to “get more experience”?

That’s the real question. Everything else is navel gazing and mental masturbation.

If what you want is being validated that you lust after other women, yes we all do, but many of us have resisted that temptation.

If this thread is about how to get your wife to acquiesce, then fine.

Can you give us the one sentence response to “what is this thread meant to achieve?” maybe we wouldn’t be having trouble communicating.

Apologies if you’ve stayed this succinctly previously.

 

[member162951]

If what you want is being validated that you list after other women, yes we all do, but many of us have resisted that temptation.

Yeah but most men, by the time they marry, have already sewn their oats, or at least some oats, right? So there's nothing to be curious about, been there done that. When temptation comes along, they can resist.

That's all this is from my read, a curiosity. His wife is the only women he's been with, ever!

Can you @Pierce.Manhammer with your triple digit notch count, imagine that? ONE woman in your entire life?

Thus far M&M has resisted despite his curiosity and doesn't want to cheat. He values his wife and marriage, and I applaud him for that.

$.02.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Can you @Pierce.Manhammer with your triple digit notch count, imagine that? ONE woman in your entire life?

Yes, I could. Without going into self-identifying information on the Internet, I tried to get my marriage to a healthy place for many years, but she never met me halfway. I stayed way beyond its expiration date.

But yes, with my notch count, I can commit; I've done a lot of self-reflection about this - there even is a thread somewhere, like maybe a year ago, where we discussed this...

 

[Money & Muscle]

Can you give us the one sentence response to “what is this thread meant to achieve?” maybe we wouldn’t be having trouble communicating.

Apologies if you’ve stayed this succinctly previously.

No worries, I've said before that I put significant value on your advice.
I made another thread about this

Y'all know my story. Married as a 21 year old virgin, have a bodycount of 1. Now I look like I do, make $150k/yr and have options I've never had before.

I don't want to leave my wife. I get laid whenever I want, she is mostly submissive to me (still working on that, it's been a long road) and has been faithful to me even during our worst times - even when I was broke and didn't look like this.

But I want to experience being with other women... Have my cake and eat it too.

Call me a hypocrite but I wouldn't allow my wife to be with any other man, so I am interested in a one-sided monogamy and threesomes (FFM) only. I know the only way this can work is if she wants to do this for me - as in, it cannot be coerced; I cannot make her agree to it (I could, but that's not what I want). Has anyone managed to make this work in a way that doesn't blow up their marriage? How much trouble am I asking for?

but I'll go over it from the top so it makes a bit more sense.

I made this thread because I wanted to hear experiences from others who were in this position themselves, and what they did to sow their wild oats. I wanted to know what they did, if it worked, what they learned, if they would do it again. I've actually gotten about all the answers I need on that front, but I always welcome more insight.

I wasn't sure if staying with my wife was the 'right' thing to do. What is monogamy if in 10 years my wife decides to up and leave, and I no longer have the looks or game, and have lost half my income? I was looking at this from a scarcity mentality, I understand why that is wrong.


I have decided that staying with my wife is the right thing to do; for me, my daughter, and my wife. What I have right now, I cannot pay for.
I have also decided that I want to explore bringing other women into the relationship, but only with my wife's enthusiastic consent (say what you will of that). I don't want to miss out on bucket list experiences because I decided to stay with my wife, and I also don't want to blow up my marriage. So FFM threesomes or my wife allowing me to have a side piece or two is the only way I can do both of those; I will not cheat outside the context of these things.
As I said before, only with my wife's enthusiastic consent. If I had to negotiate it, or coerce her to agree with it (both of which I'm sure I could do), it will blow up in my face.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

No worries, I've said before that I put significant value on your advice.
I made another thread about this

but I'll go over it from the top so it makes a bit more sense.

I made this thread because I wanted to hear experiences from others who were in this position themselves, and what they did to sow their wild oats. I wanted to know what they did, if it worked, what they learned, if they would do it again. I've actually gotten about all the answers I need on that front, but I always welcome more insight.

I wasn't sure if staying with my wife was the 'right' thing to do. What is monogamy if in 10 years my wife decides to up and leave, and I no longer have the looks or game, and have lost half my income? I was looking at this from a scarcity mentality, I understand why that is wrong.


I have decided that staying with my wife is the right thing to do; for me, my daughter, and my wife. What I have right now, I cannot pay for.
I have also decided that I want to explore bringing other women into the relationship, but only with my wife's enthusiastic consent (say what you will of that). I don't want to miss out on bucket list experiences because I decided to stay with my wife, and I also don't want to blow up my marriage. So FFM threesomes or my wife allowing me to have a side piece or two is the only way I can do both of those; I will not cheat outside the context of these things.
As I said before, only with my wife's enthusiastic consent. If I had to negotiate it, or coerce her to agree with it (both of which I'm sure I could do), it will blow up in my face.

And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Feel bad for the kid.

I'm glad you blocked me... I can't believe you all condone this behavior... if his wife has half a brain, she is going to 'enthusiastically' divorce rape him, and you all know that. Poor kid gets caught in the middle, has to grow up with a looney tune father who is going to spend the rest of his life living in a van down by the river. Father will be in and out of custody battles for the foreseeable future. I don't understand how you all think he's going to walk away from this situation scot free. 'Enthusiastic consent'... ffs... this guy has to be the dumbest person on the forum hands down. Money and Muscle will have to change his name to Bald and Bankrupt.

This is on par with the divers that swear cage diving is totally safe.

 

[Machine10033]

It's not a secret, I married my first lay when I was receiving no attention from women.
Now I look like this, make 6 figures, have made the personal growth needed to be attractive to women, and I'm still married and wanting to sow some wild oats.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? What was your experience like and how did you resolve it?

I am married and have had plenty of opportunities to screw around.

I not invite that chaos into my life. if your hell bent on it your best bet might be a high end escort in NY or Vegas.... you might think a hookup with some young dime has no strings attached but it rarely is. They can catch feelings and destroy your life.

 

[SW15]

if your hell bent on it your best bet might be a high end escort in NY or Vegas.... you might think a hookup with some young dime has no strings attached but it rarely is. They can catch feelings and destroy your life.

It can even be difficult to hide this type of extramarital sex too. Some wives might find a way to suspect a man is having extramarital sex even when he pays for it directly.