Wild Oats

[Money & Muscle]

It's not a secret, I married my first lay when I was receiving no attention from women.
Now I look like this, make 6 figures, have made the personal growth needed to be attractive to women, and I'm still married and wanting to sow some wild oats.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? What was your experience like and how did you resolve it?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Have a sidechick and don't leave a paper trail.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just get divorced then. This will end badly doing it your way, it is going to end either way, might as well do it properly.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Just get divorced then.

Well, this isn't really my ideal outcome. I'm just going through the 'greener grass' stuff and know I have it pretty good - I just don't know how to deal with where I'm at now.

I'd rather just be content with what I have, but I've never been that person - with anything. "Happy, but dissatisfied".

 

[pipeman84]

Now I look like this, make 6 figures, have made the personal growth needed to be attractive to women, and I'm still married and wanting to sow some wild oats.

It's like saying you went through medical school and now you want to work entry level at a fast food chain. Almost anyone qualifies for that. Almost anyone can get hoes either by paying them directly or indirectly. Moreover, it takes a particular type of wretched woman who would have sex with a married man. Think about it, how can you look at it as an achievement?
You show your personal growth by either continuing your marriage if in your analysis it has a good foundation and good perspectives or if that's not the case, be honest with yourself and your wife and divorce.

 

[RickTheToad]

Well, this isn't really my ideal outcome. I'm just going through the 'greener grass' stuff and know I have it pretty good - I just don't know how to deal with where I'm at now.

I'd rather just be content with what I have, but I've never been that person - with anything. "Happy, but dissatisfied".

Drop her if you want to stick your dyck in some strange. Rest assured, most times, the grass is not greener and you will be worse off in the end. Karma has a funny way of evening the fields. Be happy or content on what you have. If you want to look at other females; you can even fantasize or rub on out to them. But to throw all your cards away for side pus; ridiculous.

 

[Money & Muscle]

how can you look at it as an achievement?

I don't look at is as some form of achievement - I no longer really care about my own notch count; I'm getting laid more often than anyone I know.

It's truly just me now knowing what else is out there, and yes I'm fully aware this is a stupid outlook... doesn't stop me from wondering.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just do it. The urge is never gonna go away. Don’t get caught and don’t tell anyone. You take it to the grave. Make sure it’s a rando and not some girl who had a crush on you In elementary school or something. You want to avoid feelings.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just get divorced then. This will end badly doing it your way, it is going to end either way, might as well do it properly.

Why is the choice to be a priest for the next 50 years or get divorced? That’s an impossible standard.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why is the choice to be a priest for the next 50 years or get divorced? That’s an impossible standard.

OP is not complaining about not having sex with his wife, that's not the issue.

You don't have kids, OP does. Do you know how many kids end up hating their fathers because they find out they cheated on their Mother? Happens fairly often... that's not something to take lightly. Unless you are saying his relationship with his kid is of no importance.

Also not something to take lightly that you could be messing with a skank and bring home a gift that keeps on giving to your wife. How do you think that would play out?

 

[SW15]

Just get divorced then. This will end badly doing it your way, it is going to end either way, might as well do it properly.

Agree with this. Contact a divorce lawyer tomorrow.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Never get married and there’s a deeper life lesson here: you never know how your life will turn out. Don’t make long term decisions based on the short term situation

 

[The Duke]

It's not a secret, I married my first lay when I was receiving no attention from women.
Now I look like this, make 6 figures, have made the personal growth needed to be attractive to women, and I'm still married and wanting to sow some wild oats.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? What was your experience like and how did you resolve it?

One of my good friends(long time wing man) went thru a similar situation as yours. He started going out, hanging out with me, and the next thing you know he is banging new girls while he is still married. She calls him out on cheating on her and ends up slapping him. She called the cops and made up a story. He gets handcuffed and is forced to leave his house. The entire scene played out in front of their son. He has now been single for 15yrs, fuhked many girls, but can't seem to find a solid girl. I really don't think he is that happy. He has almost given up and only goes after 304's now.

I've got another friend that cheats on his wife. His wife walked in on him getting a blow job from another girl. Forgave him, a few years later he is at it again. There has been 2 others since. He will find one and fuhk her twice a month for 8months, wear the new off, then find another one. He hates himself for it at times. But he stays with his wife because he values their friendship. He suspects she might be cheating on him. He needs to get divorced and never remarry again.

Both of these guys did what they did because their "needs" werent getting met with their wives so they used multiple women to get those needs met. They were also looking for validation.

It's a tough decision and the fall out will be worse. Be willing to accept the regret you may have later down the road no matter what decision you make.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe, don't marry someone who doesn't fulfil your needs.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My marriage suffered bed death well before I started lifting in my late 30’s and maxed the hell out of my income. I’m not proud of it but I did spin several during the last years of my marriage, waiting for one of my daughters to become older before I filed for divorce. Best thing I ever did. I’ve been divorced for 5 years now, my notch count during that time is probably in the 40’s.

Looking back, my advice is to eject first.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

It's not a secret, I married my first lay when I was receiving no attention from women.
Now I look like this, make 6 figures, have made the personal growth needed to be attractive to women, and I'm still married and wanting to sow some wild oats.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? What was your experience like and how did you resolve it?

If your LTR /marriage is good - don't be a fool and ruin it.

 

[Ricky]

I got most of my wild oats out before marriage. Now my needs arent being met after after many years of being together with her and many years of marriage.

this is quite a common issue.

 

[Solomon]

One of my good friends(long time wing man) went thru a similar situation as yours. He started going out, hanging out with me, and the next thing you know he is banging new girls while he is still married. She calls him out on cheating on her and ends up slapping him. She called the cops and made up a story. He gets handcuffed and is forced to leave his house. The entire scene played out in front of their son. He has now been single for 15yrs, fuhked many girls, but can't seem to find a solid girl. I really don't think he is that happy. He has almost given up and only goes after 304's now.

I've got another friend that cheats on his wife. His wife walked in on him getting a blow job from another girl. Forgave him, a few years later he is at it again. There has been 2 others since. He will find one and fuhk her twice a month for 8months, wear the new off, then find another one. He hates himself for it at times. But he stays with his wife because he values their friendship. He suspects she might be cheating on him. He needs to get divorced and never remarry again.

Both of these guys did what they did because their "needs" werent getting met with their wives so they used multiple women to get those needs met. They were also looking for validation.

It's a tough decision and the fall out will be worse. Be willing to accept the regret you may have later down the road no matter what decision you make.

Married men who cheat on their wives are scumbags, In this forum, we give a lot of heat to married women who cheat but there a lot of married men who cheat as well. To me it's a character flaw and a lack of integrity. Once kids are involved I don't care who you are man or woman you gotta do right by your family and think outside of your dyck or vagina.

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP is not complaining about not having sex with his wife, that's not the issue.

You don't have kids, OP does. Do you know how many kids end up hating their fathers because they find out they cheated on their Mother? Happens fairly often... that's not something to take lightly. Unless you are saying his relationship with his kid is of no importance.

Also not something to take lightly that you could be messing with a skank and bring home a gift that keeps on giving to your wife. How do you think that would play out?

What you are saying regarding kids is not wrong but it still doesn’t answer the question. “Infidelity” (discreetly screwing a rando) is not a big deal and frankly has nothing to do with grand scheme of marriage. Older societies knew this and operated accordingly. In the west, we keep trying to push this faux priesthood despite all evidence that it does not work.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Maybe, don't marry someone who doesn't fulfil your needs.

What makes you thing one woman will ever satisfy a man’s carnal needs for 50+ years?

Exhibt A below:

I got most of my wild oats out before marriage. Now my needs arent being met after after many years of being together with her and many years of marriage.

this is quite a common issue.