"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Why women don't fall for nice guys
- Thread starter bachelor
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
This NEVER gets healthy postive results, so while he continues to be a phony, never being himself, those urges stay buried underneath... and they will explode eventually. The sweet puppy dog who is so nice to the girl, when he doesn't get what he wants, can suddenly become a vindictive, cruel bastard, and turn into a jerk... but not the cool, fun, ****y, confident jerk women are attracted to, but a needy, morose, clingy, destructive, bitter "non man" (yes I know of what I speak).
And this is where the nice guy stuff just has to stop... this term is getting over used (no offense to the OP) and is misleading guys who are mistaking it for not having common courtesy.
It's not that. I think women WANT guys who are kind and who treat them well (unless they are insecure, and you don't want those girls anyway). But what they NEED in ADDITION to that is a guy who can indeed just be himself... meaning he says and does what he wants, he goes after what he wants, he is a GENUINE person, he has the ability to affect positive change in his life, and on top of that, he enjoys the company of the girl he's with to the extent that she treats him as well as he treats himself AND others.
Now does the guy I just described sound like a jerk? No, and he's not a "nice guy" either. The guy I just described, the guy we all want to be (many here are already there) wouldn't even dream of supplicating to a woman. How could he? He's too confident and self-assured. Supplicating probably would never cross his mind, kind of like if he didn't know Spanish he wouldn't start thinking in Spanish.
This dude gets what he wants, and has no problem greeting people with a warm smile or helping someone in need, and doing his best not to intentionally hurt someone else.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
And has serious problems viewing women as Sexual Beings.
He's uncomfortable with displays of women's sexuality, and is uncomfortabel with his own sexuality.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
The best macks I know are nice, but also fun, and stick to their guns.
I think this is abit of a myth that goes on in these forums. I mean if you have strong inner-game you can be a "nice guy" and get plenty of pusy. The bad ass guy certainly gets pusy, but he is a jerk, a moron, they just have a "couldn't give a f*ck" attitude. I have this attitude, but I'm also a nice guy.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
And as many of us here, have noted women use the term.
We use the term "Nice Guy" to mean the explanations mentioned above.
Just becasue we are not fond of the nice guy tag, and don't wish to be the "nice guy" does not automatically imply that we are and want to be the "bad guy".
Anyway, we all agree on your criteria, but you are misconstruing our label, the dreaded term "Nice Guy.'
Trust us, you don't want to be it.
Look, put plainly, the term "Nice Guy" is generally considered an insult.
Sorry, but it's the truth.
Look up other threads for more info on what we perceive the ideal "Guy" to be.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Ask a woman how long a nice guy would hold her interest.sexybeast said:
So if you guys wish not to be the "nice guys" nor the "bad guy" what isit you guys label it as?
Because the way I see it is we should be the "nice guy" with all the qualities girls find attractive mixed in. Unless you are a bad ass by nuture, but I dont think many guys in the community actually are.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
why don't you take a look at the Book of Pook?
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf
I think you'll get a real good picture of what we're talking about, and what level we're on, or aspiring to be at. And it's not being the "nice guy".
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
No, I'm serious. Next time you are in a club go up to a group of women (yes, this is an approach) and ask them what they like about "nice guys." They'll start describing all of the things that guys do that makes them AFC's. Then ask them if they could see themselves having a LTR with a nice guy (who didn't get them pregnant). You will be surprised at the things that women will tell you if you ask the right questions.sexybeast said:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.