"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Why she not want to kiss Bjerte?

B

Bjerte

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Hi mates!

I have new girl who is named Pokpat. She is extra nice in the body and she have pretty face. I am happy!

BUT today I wonder.

She not like to kiss Bjerte! She like to do the sex but no kiss! I say to her why? I say I am bad at the kiss? She say no. I say I am bad smell in the mouth because I eat chulkfuss? She say no she not like the kiss from ANY man!

Pokpat is nice to the penis but not to kiss give me pain in my heart! Kiss is how I show her into my love!

Why she do this?
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

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Read more...

M

Mission

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Pokpat is nice to the penis but not to kiss give me pain in my heart!

You are my hero, for that line right there. Epic man.

--Mission
 
F

flippinfreak

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She will do real kiss, when you return upside down kiss.
 
M

milrenkb

Senior Don Juan
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flippinfreak said:
She will do real kiss, when you return upside down kiss.
Click to expand...

This thread is great. Hang in their Bjerte, enjoy this one for now and keep yourself on the lookout for the one that like Bjerte kiss.`
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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S

spider_007

Master Don Juan
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Bjerte said:
Hi mates!

I have new girl who is named Pokpat. She is extra nice in the body and she have pretty face. I am happy!

BUT today I wonder.

She not like to kiss Bjerte! She like to do the sex but no kiss! I say to her why? I say I am bad at the kiss? She say no. I say I am bad smell in the mouth because I eat chulkfuss? She say no she not like the kiss from ANY man!

Pokpat is nice to the penis but not to kiss give me pain in my heart! Kiss is how I show her into my love!

Why she do this?
Click to expand...

dude, nobody talks like that, i'm a forener, i know.:trouble:
is it me or is your spelling perfect

and

Iceland???? that's puirty good, but you could have done better
 
S

ShizamDaMan

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Hahahaahahahah... holy crap. Everytime I read a Bjerte post I can't help but laugh like a manic tard on coke.
 
Jariel

Jariel

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There's something funny but also very cute and naive about Bjerte's posts that make me want to say AWWWW!

I've heard of women not kissing before, even had it happen to me once, and in those cases it meant she wanted sex without any emotional connection.

Then again, I think you need to answer Shezz's question - WTF is Chulkfuss?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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B

Big Eee Zee

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spider_007 said:
dude, nobody talks like that, i'm a forener, i know.:trouble:
is it me or is your spelling perfect

and

Iceland???? that's puirty good, but you could have done better
Click to expand...

spider, by now you should know bjerte isnt a troll. we have accepted him as a real person. (and even if not, hes funny enough that we pretend)

and i think he uses a translator, hence perfect spelling and yet super sweet grammer.
 
W

whistler

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Bjerte is a confirmed TROLL.

... though a very funny one
 
D

djbr

Master Don Juan
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THANK GOD BJERTE IS BACK!! :crackup:

THIS IS A NICE TROLL IF THAT IS POSSIBLE! LOL
 
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