Why do women suddenly come back?

[tesla8520]

How ridiculous is it that, as a man, the moment you improve something in your life, all the women who rejected you, ghosted you, or simply didn't care about you, but they we're attracted by you, suddenly come back with renewed interest?

Sometimes it only takes something as simple as getting a more prestigious job, buying your own home, starting or managing a successful business, getting into better shape, gaining a higher social status, becoming friends with a very attractive woman, becoming the leader of an association, and so on...
And suddenly, there they are again.
They text you first. They start liking your photos. They suddenly want to know how you're doing.

But this attention often lasts only until the excitement fades.
And honestly, these are not the moments a man should live his life for.

A man should always be focused on bigger things. Yet, unfortunately, it often seems that women respond most strongly to these visible changes: status, success, novelty, social proof, appearance.

The problem is that a man cannot spend his entire life trying to keep these moments of novelty alive forever. If he did, he would risk wasting the opportunity to focus on the things that truly matter in his life, simply because he is too busy trying to maintain women's attention.

A woman suddenly becomes infatuated again. She's proactive, enthusiastic, interested...
But as soon as the novelty in you fades, because naturally, it eventually does, she becomes indifferent all over again.

How many of you have experienced the same thing.. I wonder.. and.. is this specific to "all" female nature, or only to these women that never had the intention to put you in their "1st" place in life?

 

[Solomon]

I've had this happen, but not because I leveled up because the woman thought "the grass was greener on the other side," only to find out it wasn't. I used to call those women "boomerang chicks" because when you throw a boomerang, it always comes back. One thing I've learned is: do not give a woman another chance if she suddenly ghosts you. From my experience, it's usually another guy. In two situations that happened a few years back, the women weren't over being rejected by the other guy or being used.

These women thought I was the safe guy, but the truth is I wasn't toxic enough. Leave those hoes be; there are too many females out there to worry about chicks you've already run through.

 

[Bigpapa]

I've had this happen, but not because I leveled up because the woman thought "the grass was greener on the other side," only to find out it wasn't. I used to call those women "boomerang chicks" because when you throw a boomerang, it always comes back. One thing I've learned is: do not give a woman another chance if she suddenly ghosts you. From my experience, it's usually another guy. In two situations that happened a few years back, the women weren't over being rejected by the other guy or being used.

These women thought I was the safe guy, but the truth is I wasn't toxic enough. Leave those hoes be; there are too many females out there to worry about chicks you've already run through.

I think a smarter strategy is to just to treat her as a fwb, otherwise you just leave a lot of money on the table

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I've never once had this happen, because if a woman rejects me, ghosts me, etc I never talk to her again and do not give her the means to contact me either. It's not out of spite or anything, I just don't see the purpose in keeping them in your circle/pipeline whatever you want to call it. I almost never stay in touch with exes either, even if I do the breaking up. There's just no point to any of it.

 

[Solomon]

I think a smarter strategy is to just to treat her as a fwb, otherwise you just leave a lot of money on the table

In one case(2022), she took me to dinner, paid, and we banged, but she was at that point in her life looking for a guy to save her and she knew it wasn't me. She ended up going batshyt and I cut her off in essence the bang and dinner wasn't worth it

The other case was a younger woman 25 from tinder, who was just confused we didn't hook up as she was crying about the other ghosting her (2023). I was trying to get her out of home as fast as I could, cause I don't need a ***** crying in bed about some guy who gave 2 ****s about her.

Like I said, these happened a few years ago and now I make it a policy, like Flex....

I've never once had this happen, because if a woman rejects me, ghosts me, etc I never talk to her again and do not give her the means to contact me either. It's not out of spite or anything, I just don't see the purpose in keeping them in your circle/pipeline whatever you want to call it. I almost never stay in touch with exes either, even if I do the breaking up. There's just no point to any of it.

A legendary sosuaver by the name Of Jophil28 once said "Do not give a woman a 2nd chance to flake on you" I think the same applies to a woman who ghosts you etc. It's not out of ego but one thing I've learned in the situations above is that once a woman ghosts you, why wouldn't she do it again?

Women seldom or rarely change (Im talking online dating here) and if they do it's for the worse.

 

[Bigpapa]

I've never once had this happen, because if a woman rejects me, ghosts me, etc I never talk to her again and do not give her the means to contact me either.

Sounds more like an ego move rather than a strategic one

ego is good to have, but too much or too little can cause big imbalances

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1) To see if they "still have you if they want you"

2) Because whoever they have been dating hasn't worked out and you are a safe haven to take their mind off that person.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Sounds more like an ego move rather than a strategic one

ego is good to have, but too much or too little can cause big imbalances

of course it's not a strategic move, i wasn't implying it was. it's for my own sake. if i wanted to be strategic i'd keep as many women around as possible to maintain opportunities, but i don't have the energy for it. i can barely handle talking to 2-3 women at once sometimes. i don't do it out of bitterness. i learned long time ago if you really want to get poon you will sometimes have to learn to not take anything personally and just figure out the next move you need to make with her. i simply can't be bothered because the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@tesla8520 "How many of you have experienced the same thing.."

The preponderance of folks(women, men, and alleged non-binaries) who would've stepped over me had I been stabbed over a dozen times in the chest right before their eyes, yet were desperate for my company, once I was doing even marginally more well than I was prior is remarkable. I used to get butthurt over such things, then recognized that

-I've behaved in a similarly pathetic fashion myself, more than once previously

-Contrary to what the miseducation Disney has been feeding us since The 90s https://moviesupclose.com/2019/06/09/avengers-endgame-and-the-childishness-of-the-mcu/ dictates, we humans resemble characters in noir/hard boiled fiction far more closely than we do Prince Eric or Belle. Fickleness and self-focus bordering on solipism is what comes naturally to our species

 

[Ricky]

In my experience the ones that contact me again are the ones that I dumped or had made an impression but didn’t pursue heavily and it was clear their interest in me was higher than mine in them.

 

[redcouch]

How ridiculous is it that, as a man, the moment you improve something in your life, all the women who rejected you, ghosted you, or simply didn't care about you, but they we're attracted by you, suddenly come back with renewed interest?

Sometimes it only takes something as simple as getting a more prestigious job, buying your own home, starting or managing a successful business, getting into better shape, gaining a higher social status, becoming friends with a very attractive woman, becoming the leader of an association, and so on...
And suddenly, there they are again.
They text you first. They start liking your photos. They suddenly want to know how you're doing.

But this attention often lasts only until the excitement fades.
And honestly, these are not the moments a man should live his life for.

A man should always be focused on bigger things. Yet, unfortunately, it often seems that women respond most strongly to these visible changes: status, success, novelty, social proof, appearance.

The problem is that a man cannot spend his entire life trying to keep these moments of novelty alive forever. If he did, he would risk wasting the opportunity to focus on the things that truly matter in his life, simply because he is too busy trying to maintain women's attention.

A woman suddenly becomes infatuated again. She's proactive, enthusiastic, interested...
But as soon as the novelty in you fades, because naturally, it eventually does, she becomes indifferent all over again.

How many of you have experienced the same thing.. I wonder.. and.. is this specific to "all" female nature, or only to these women that never had the intention to put you in their "1st" place in life?

When you prioritize chasing women, your ambition fades. When you quit doing this and prioritize chasing personal fulfillment and success, the women come to you. But if you get lost in this newfound attention, the cycle begins once again.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Most women are caught in a vicious circle of trying to get a man that is out of her league and failing. To only become more jaded, and used for the next guy out of her league she goes for. I used to love translating the dating profiles full of complaints. For example, any "man child" is a guy with a nice car or toys that hit and quit because he didn't want to wife up a bartender in 8 months. In my experience they always come back. I always leave a seed planted, to come harvest some fruit when I am in need later.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To see if they still have you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

As we all learned back in '91

, sometimes they just come back

Ideally, said folks are beautiful women eager to please their men, rather than demonic greasers who posses an iron determination to murder not only us, but our entire f-c-ing bloodline

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Most women are caught in a vicious circle of trying to get a man that is out of her league and failing.

They get tired of chasing their own tail.

 

[Solomon]

Most women are caught in a vicious circle of trying to get a man that is out of her league and failing. To only become more jaded, and used for the next guy out of her league she goes for. I used to love translating the dating profiles full of complaints. For example, any "man child" is a guy with a nice car or toys that hit and quit because he didn't want to wife up a bartender in 8 months. In my experience they always come back. I always leave a seed planted, to come harvest some fruit when I am in need later.

This post is spot on but I disagree with the last part, in every situation, when the woman comes back, they come back jaded and I just don't have the patience for that. Also my ego refuses to deal with a chick whom I dealt with before who had great energy to begin with but then comes back like a wounded deer. Makes me feel like Captain Save-a-ho

I don't have time or energy to deal with their trauma, shoulda stuck around the first time instead of thinking you could do better...her loss

 

[tesla8520]

These women thought I was the safe guy, but the truth is I wasn't toxic enough.

Nailed it. So many of us see that being toxic works, so you start to emulate. But eventually it won't give you real results.
Wonder what you discovered after that @Solomon

because if a woman rejects me, ghosts me, etc I never talk to her again and do not give her the means to contact me either.

Interesting, so how does this translate for you in the digital era?
Would you block their contacts, remove from your followers list for future posts, etc?
Personally I do have a "close friend list" that get's my social media updates.
Once I feel that someone did something that broke my respect for them, I remove them from the list.
They will no longer see updates from me. (And this is actually fun, because narcissists who have flying monkeys, will still see your profile through mutual friends)

2) Because whoever they have been dating hasn't worked out and you are a safe haven to take their mind off that person.

Yes this is most of the time the thruth.
So if you're the good and safe man, that means you're on the right track in life, because any good woman sees value in you, but if a woman is acting like that towards a good man, that means she has no respect for good men in their life.
This means, it's not really the man's fault; if you have boundaries, it's just her being toxic.
She thinks, "Okay, I want the stable, good guy, but there's this other, more exciting guy, and as long as I can keep the other guy anchored, why not try to change the exciting one?"

 

[tesla8520]

I always leave a seed planted, to come harvest some fruit when I am in need later.

That is actually 100% seduction, but how do you deal with boundaries?
If someone just use you then disappear, you accept the nature of it.
But that is actually telling they're using you:
1) because you provide something of value to them
2) because you have no boundaries, so they can come back at any time.

To see if they still have you.

This was my tought too, beucase when they feel the connection is fading, they will double down actions to see you again.
Is that a normal person would do in a relationship? Not at all

shoulda stuck around the first time instead of thinking you could do better...her loss

Imagine being a man married to a woman like that, and every time you redouble your efforts because you see her move away, and then come back closer... It must be terrible.

 

[Solomon]

Nailed it. So many of us see that being toxic works, so you start to emulate. But eventually it won't give you real results.
Wonder what you discovered after that @Solomon

I met a great girl late last year; she was perfect for me in almost everyway but we were to far from each other, 3.5 hours away. So sadly it didn't last long. What it confirmed to me is that healthy women exist, but you have to be aligned not just in morals and values, but also in goals.

Easier to say than to find, though

 

[tesla8520]

I met a great girl late last year; she was perfect for me in almost everyway but we were to far from each other, 3.5 hours away. So sadly it didn't last long. What it confirmed to me is that healthy women exist, but you have to be aligned not just in morals and values, but also in goals.

Easier to say than to find, though

What kind of goals and morals/values.
List them if you have found something