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Why do men on sosuave want to get married?

corrector

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Advice from the old lady:

It’s a very individual choice. Having been there/done that myself and having emerged from the marriage as the breadwinner who came out financially intact as opposed to chopped in half I doubt I would marry again. I have assets I worked very hard for to protect and those assets have to support me, my ex husband and put my children through college. No small task.

But I’m done being pregnant and raising babies too now. Babies and young children are a full time responsibility 24/7/365 for many years. That’s a serious commitment and research shows over and over that the most well adjusted young people come from families with a solid marriage and its stability.

I believe the best marriages are traditional in the sense that the woman raises the babies and the man provides for his family. Call me 1950’s but that is the best family environment for children in my opinion.

It makes sense to desire that kind of stability. With your relationship solidified it allows more time for a man to focus on his purpose and life aims. He’s got his woman set. (Yes you still have to keep frame etc.) Now you can get out there and kick ass & take names in life with a secure partner by your side. There are advantages in that. You see it in longevity studies, quality of life studies and health outcomes.

Thing is...around here there isn’t much of a voice to tout these advantages. The great men here such as Colussus, Amante Silvestre, Casanova, and others found wives, married and are not contributing here any more. They are out doing life and enjoying quality outcomes including quality relationships. And that’s a good thing.

So it really depends what a man envisions for his life. That’s a highly individual choice and journey.
Why did you leave out @Atom Smasher ?
 

BeExcellent

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Why did you leave out @Atom Smasher ?
He’s still here. You are correct, I should have mentioned @Atom Smasher because he too is getting married (he might already be married now - not sure)...

I have the utmost respect for Atom. But he’s not vanished. I hope he sticks around. He gave me a good ribbing when I first arrived here almost 5 years ago...and he’s been a beacon of good sense, good advice & good humor to me personally over time, and for that I am very appreciative :)

So thank you @corrector for calling me out.

No offense intended toward Atom at all. He is a great contributor here and I did not intend the oversight.

Cheers
 

AttackFormation

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I agree. My recent ex BF’s greatest fear? Being alone in his old age. It’s a very real fear and a visceral one.

Honestly I think women as a general rule manage loneliness and being alone better than men do. Perhaps that’s by design. After all women tend to outlive their man.
If I had a daughter and her boyfriend said he was afraid of being alone, I would tell her to end it. I couldnt stand a man so pathetically weak. Every time I read a man fearing that, or men complaining that "women can never love you like your mother" and similar, I cringe in contempt.
 

BeExcellent

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If I had a daughter and her boyfriend said he was afraid of being alone, I would tell her to end it. I couldnt stand a man so pathetically weak. Every time I read a man fearing that, or men complaining that "women can never love you like your mother" and similar, I cringe in contempt.
Agreed. It’s an irrational fear but many men, otherwise alpha men in some examples I know personally have this fear.

It’s a head scratcher until you realize these are men who front well but harbor deep insecurities.

In some ways men are the more companionship driven gender, especially as the wall approaches. You young guys don’t see that much but as men hit their 50s? It’s a thing, trust me.
 

Jack12345

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Your co worker feels emasculated living in his father-in-law’s home. There are expectations on him of duty since he is living there and his attitude & sensitivity to your comments suggest he either feels like a mooch or is being made to feel like one.

It’s an uncomfortable dynamic at best for him to live under the roof that belongs to his wife’s father. The father is providing for his wife rather than him. He feels that pretty acutely. That’s why the reaction.
I think he's just stupid and that his wife is controlling him cause he's getting alone well with the old man..
 

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Spaz

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Lonliness is a real killer for so many men
It's not all men, a subset of men, yes.

Depends on their inherent personality.

Those of you that's naturally passive like @LARaiders85 or @mrgoodstuff yearns for female company, they have boundless love to give out but will receive lesser then they hope for, since no women is capable to sustain it.
 

Spaz

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during a meal with same age co-worker he told me that his fresh wife wants them to get out of her fathers (nice old silent man who's living by himself) house.. I asked him why would he take a mortgage and get in debts while he can put some money aside and keep living with their father for some time... for some reason he got upset by it and angrily told me "blah blah... btw you know this is also strange that in this age one still single". I was pretty blown away by his little bitz response
He has willingly bought over the feminine narratives, lock, stock and barrel.

Plenty of men are being raised to think so.

But even if you were told or raised in such a manner, even if you want to desperately believe it, hope for it, deep down as you try to sleep, you know you couldn't because as soon as you breathe in all those narratives, you can't breathe properly, that's when you know its not true - this is instinctual for some men but yet for others, they'll gladly embrace a feminine worldview.
 

Jack12345

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He has willingly bought over the feminine narratives, deep down as you try to sleep, you know you couldn't because as soon as you breathe in all those narratives, you can't breathe properly, that's when you know its not true - this is instinctual for some men but yet for others, they'll gladly embrace a feminine worldview.
True.. he feels that ppl judging him because hes in doubt with his choices.. so his attitude towards simple observations is irrational and reactive
 
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Jack12345

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True.. he feels that ppl judging him because hes in doubt with his choices.. so his attitude towards simple observations is irrational and reactive
Frustrating that my pals at job are married so when we speak about girls they think I'm misogynist or douchebag.. the guys who single thinks that they "get it", which make it easier for the girls to use them. I can trust only my stupid fishes
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Advice from the old lady:

It’s a very individual choice. Having been there/done that myself and having emerged from the marriage as the breadwinner who came out financially intact as opposed to chopped in half I doubt I would marry again. I have assets I worked very hard for to protect and those assets have to support me, my ex husband and put my children through college. No small task.

But I’m done being pregnant and raising babies too now. Babies and young children are a full time responsibility 24/7/365 for many years. That’s a serious commitment and research shows over and over that the most well adjusted young people come from families with a solid marriage and its stability.

I believe the best marriages are traditional in the sense that the woman raises the babies and the man provides for his family. Call me 1950’s but that is the best family environment for children in my opinion.

It makes sense to desire that kind of stability. With your relationship solidified it allows more time for a man to focus on his purpose and life aims. He’s got his woman set. (Yes you still have to keep frame etc.) Now you can get out there and kick ass & take names in life with a secure partner by your side. There are advantages in that. You see it in longevity studies, quality of life studies and health outcomes.

Thing is...around here there isn’t much of a voice to tout these advantages. The great men here such as Colussus, Amante Silvestre, Casanova, and others found wives, married and are not contributing here any more. They are out doing life and enjoying quality outcomes including quality relationships. And that’s a good thing.

So it really depends what a man envisions for his life. That’s a highly individual choice and journey.
Let’s hope that they found decent, quality women to marry.

If not, the Family law/divorce machine is a real meat grinder.

-Augustus-
 

BeExcellent

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Let’s hope that they found decent, quality women to marry.

If not, the Family law/divorce machine is a real meat grinder.

-Augustus-
Agreed 100% Augustus. You & I should know.

Hope you are well.

Cheers
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Agreed 100% Augustus. You & I should know.

Hope you are well.

Cheers
I’m doing well. Trip to Europe this year was cancelled because of COVID-19, but that’s standard nowadays. Bought a new motorcycle this month and staying at the beach this weekend, so life is good.

How are things with you?

-Augustus-
 

Alvafe

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one thing most guys, forget that, most people need to understand is you should be ok being alone and like it, people who can't stand alone, normally are annoying, atencion seeking in woman is annoying but not as much as in men, when men do this is the maximum of anoyance, also notice is this kind of guy who will sell you to fix his needs, not loyalty, and everything runs around he never being alone.

with alwyas make me wonder, if people can't stand being alone, why anyone else would be? even himself can't stand it, so why anyone would?

plus the freedom you have for not needing anyone, is a huge deal, droping anyone you figure is not a good fit, over then suporting something you have just to not be alone
 

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mrgoodstuff

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It's not all men, a subset of men, yes.

Depends on their inherent personality.

Those of you that's naturally passive like @LARaiders85 or @mrgoodstuff yearns for female company, they have boundless love to give out but will receive lesser then they hope for, since no women is capable to sustain it.
Naturally passive? I was making out with women at the age of 8.
 

mrgoodstuff

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they say that if u exposed to sex in youth age you had a fckd up childhood.. so I guess, fckd up childhood is a good thing if eventually you have sex with nice women.. or not.. no idea
Not with adults. Similar age Kids can experiment with sex.
 
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