Dhoulmagus
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,695
- Reaction score
- 169
Im sick of it.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
How?Dhoulmagus said:Im sick of it.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Im uglyAtom Smasher said:That's the symptom.
Now what is your best guess as to the cause?
I want to be careful here not to taint my question with suggestions because that will affect your response.
So your problem is initial IOIs. Now what is your gut guess as to why this might be?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
i've seen your picture and you ain't ugly - unless you posted a fake picture.Dhoulmagus said:Im ugly
no. YOU are repulsed. girls are just a reflection of how you feel.Dhoulmagus said:Im sick of it.
that is not enough. that is the equivalent of wrapping a turd in shiny paper with a fancy ribbon or two.GettinMyMindRight said:Go stand in front of your bathroom mirror and say the following to yourself in a strong, confident voice:
"I love and approve of myself. I am too big a gift to the world to waste my time on self-pity and sadness."
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Girls just ignore me. All my friends have a gf or a slam while I just have to sit there and watch.Atom Smasher said:You say you're ugly. What specifically makes you ugly? Be accurate and specific.
You'd be amazed how many guys have gone from ugly to good looking to women. There ARE things you can do, especially because a sense of style trumps innate looks.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.