Dhoulmagus
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,695
- Reaction score
- 169
Im sick of it.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How?Dhoulmagus said:Im sick of it.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Im uglyAtom Smasher said:That's the symptom.
Now what is your best guess as to the cause?
I want to be careful here not to taint my question with suggestions because that will affect your response.
So your problem is initial IOIs. Now what is your gut guess as to why this might be?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
i've seen your picture and you ain't ugly - unless you posted a fake picture.Dhoulmagus said:Im ugly
no. YOU are repulsed. girls are just a reflection of how you feel.Dhoulmagus said:Im sick of it.
that is not enough. that is the equivalent of wrapping a turd in shiny paper with a fancy ribbon or two.GettinMyMindRight said:Go stand in front of your bathroom mirror and say the following to yourself in a strong, confident voice:
"I love and approve of myself. I am too big a gift to the world to waste my time on self-pity and sadness."
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Girls just ignore me. All my friends have a gf or a slam while I just have to sit there and watch.Atom Smasher said:You say you're ugly. What specifically makes you ugly? Be accurate and specific.
You'd be amazed how many guys have gone from ugly to good looking to women. There ARE things you can do, especially because a sense of style trumps innate looks.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.