Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Why am I being such an emotional p**y?

Heretolearn

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ps some great posters looking out for others eg. BPD (Jophil etc).

thank you
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Heretolearn said:
*smiles

THank you for this thread. I NEVER believed that my experience with a BPD would ever be positive. I harbour so much anger and frustration even today. Yet one TINY silver lining is seeing this thread. With an OUNCE of my experience I would suggest RUNNING LITTERALLY away everytime you heard a BPDs name. Seriously it is THAT messed up. Not even good for fun or whatever justification you can make.

Think venom from spiderman. They are symbiotes. They make you feel powerful but suck your soul and make you weaker and dependent.

You cannot get a little bit pregnant. And you cannot mess around a little bit with a BPD.

The rattlesnake metaphor is perfect. Just avoid and focus on the better things on life. TRULY believe in yourself and that you are better than this.

A BPD in my case was a distraction from life. It can be the end of it for many!
I think I may be BPD too.

Yes, I am a grown ass man but I think I may have it too. That's why I love the BPD women and I hate the women who are normal. Women are not the only one's with BPD.

What then?
 

Heretolearn

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Vlad the Impaler said:
I think I may be BPD too.

Yes, I am a grown ass man but I think I may have it too. That's why I love the BPD women and I hate the women who are normal. Women are not the only one's with BPD.

What then?

I felt the same thing. Just another way to justify being with this girl.

Consider logic.What does you being BPD (if it is true) have ANYTHING to do with choosing another BPD. 2 of them cause MORE havoc not less. If you feel BPD get professional help not a woman!
 
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jophil28 said:
Vlad. That tells you all you need to know about her. Proceed at your own risk.
Here is a classic example of how a woman's history will tell a new guy how she is going to behave with him.
Expect drama, faked up hysterics, breakups and makeups.

IF you can not get emotionally involved, then continue to see her, BUT I sense that you are already invested somewhat even though you claim to be able to "control it ". Ultimately the test of being 'in control' is our ability to just walk away if the situation degenerates.

Well, things deteriorated with her this weekend and I'm going to try and walk away again. We were in contact with each other Friday night then I tried to contact her Saturday and she ignored me all weekend. She tells me to call her, and then she doesn't answer or return my calls. She could be doing all of this to push my buttons, but it ticked me off and I let her know about it.

I can never have a relationship with this woman because she has already lied to me, so now I can never believe a word from her mouth. So why drag this on?

I dumped her again this morning over a text message. I told her it's time to end the relationship, and I hope she finds someone who makes her happy. Haven't heard from her still. Last time I dumped her she came back for the sole purpose of dumping me.

What a great woman I have here.
 

piranha45

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Vlad the Impaler said:
Well, things deteriorated with her this weekend and I'm going to try
Wrong mentality!

*Yoda quote*

There's nothing to "try" over. Cut communication entirely, and there's no issues left. She's going to throw you multiple drama hooks, but all you have to do is ignore them by not communicating. Communication is the only weapon she has against you. So be rational; don't feed her anything.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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piranha45 said:
Wrong mentality!

*Yoda quote*

There's nothing to "try" over. Cut communication entirely, and there's no issues left. She's going to throw you multiple drama hooks, but all you have to do is ignore them by not communicating. Communication is the only weapon she has against you. So be rational; don't feed her anything.

Alright I'm going to try this. Even though I KNOW this woman is poison to me, and I know it would be a huge mistake being with her, I still want her for some reason.

This is the BPD's mind control in action. They know how to do it. It's scary as hell!
 

piranha45

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It's easy to make the woman the scapegoat, "Oh she's BPD, this is inevitable". That way you can easily justify your behavior to yourself; you're not to blame for anything. Shes some cruel btch and you're just some hapless victim....


But you are a MAN. You take control of things and stay in control. So recognize the problem and DEAL with it--- "F*ck, I'm turning AFC, I need to straighten myself out".
 
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piranha45 said:
It's easy to make the woman the scapegoat, "Oh she's BPD, this is inevitable". That way you can easily justify your behavior to yourself; you're not to blame for anything. Shes some cruel btch and you're just some hapless victim....


But you are a MAN. You take control of things and stay in control. So recognize the problem and DEAL with it--- "F*ck, I'm turning AFC, I need to straighten myself out".

I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.

I should have just manned up and dumped her. I tried that, but I still cared for her and wanted her back. That's when the AFC came out.

So, most of this really is her fault by her actions but it's my fault too for putting up with it. I tried to justify her lying and cheating because we weren't "exclusive".... I thought maybe she can get another chance and prove she is a good woman.

That will never happen and if I give this woman another chance it will just delay the inevitable... more lies, more cheating... I feel bad for the guy who ends up with her.

She tried to make me that guy, but I called her out on her lies and games. I know what she is about, thats why she won't mess with me. I know her game.
 

piranha45

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Vlad the Impaler said:
Yeah, I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.
By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.

Read Str8up's and Rollo Tomassi's posts in this thread, and apply them to your situation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163120
 
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piranha45 said:
By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.

Read Str8up's and Rollo Tomassi's posts in this thread, and apply them to your situation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163120

I can only hope she learns from this and realizes she lost a good catch (me) because of her nasty behavior.

I'm sure that will never happen. She will just try and con the next guy. It's a lifestyle for these people, I don't think they can ever change.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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jophil28

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Vlad the Impaler said:
I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.

I should have just manned up and dumped her. I tried that, but I still cared for her and wanted her back. That's when the AFC came out.
This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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jophil28 said:
This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.
That is a great idea.

And you're just the man to start the thread:yes:
 
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