"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Why am I being such an emotional p**y?

Heretolearn

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ps some great posters looking out for others eg. BPD (Jophil etc).

thank you
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Heretolearn said:
*smiles

THank you for this thread. I NEVER believed that my experience with a BPD would ever be positive. I harbour so much anger and frustration even today. Yet one TINY silver lining is seeing this thread. With an OUNCE of my experience I would suggest RUNNING LITTERALLY away everytime you heard a BPDs name. Seriously it is THAT messed up. Not even good for fun or whatever justification you can make.

Think venom from spiderman. They are symbiotes. They make you feel powerful but suck your soul and make you weaker and dependent.

You cannot get a little bit pregnant. And you cannot mess around a little bit with a BPD.

The rattlesnake metaphor is perfect. Just avoid and focus on the better things on life. TRULY believe in yourself and that you are better than this.

A BPD in my case was a distraction from life. It can be the end of it for many!
I think I may be BPD too.

Yes, I am a grown ass man but I think I may have it too. That's why I love the BPD women and I hate the women who are normal. Women are not the only one's with BPD.

What then?
 

Heretolearn

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Vlad the Impaler said:
I think I may be BPD too.

Yes, I am a grown ass man but I think I may have it too. That's why I love the BPD women and I hate the women who are normal. Women are not the only one's with BPD.

What then?

I felt the same thing. Just another way to justify being with this girl.

Consider logic.What does you being BPD (if it is true) have ANYTHING to do with choosing another BPD. 2 of them cause MORE havoc not less. If you feel BPD get professional help not a woman!
 
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jophil28 said:
Vlad. That tells you all you need to know about her. Proceed at your own risk.
Here is a classic example of how a woman's history will tell a new guy how she is going to behave with him.
Expect drama, faked up hysterics, breakups and makeups.

IF you can not get emotionally involved, then continue to see her, BUT I sense that you are already invested somewhat even though you claim to be able to "control it ". Ultimately the test of being 'in control' is our ability to just walk away if the situation degenerates.

Well, things deteriorated with her this weekend and I'm going to try and walk away again. We were in contact with each other Friday night then I tried to contact her Saturday and she ignored me all weekend. She tells me to call her, and then she doesn't answer or return my calls. She could be doing all of this to push my buttons, but it ticked me off and I let her know about it.

I can never have a relationship with this woman because she has already lied to me, so now I can never believe a word from her mouth. So why drag this on?

I dumped her again this morning over a text message. I told her it's time to end the relationship, and I hope she finds someone who makes her happy. Haven't heard from her still. Last time I dumped her she came back for the sole purpose of dumping me.

What a great woman I have here.
 

piranha45

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Vlad the Impaler said:
Well, things deteriorated with her this weekend and I'm going to try
Wrong mentality!

*Yoda quote*

There's nothing to "try" over. Cut communication entirely, and there's no issues left. She's going to throw you multiple drama hooks, but all you have to do is ignore them by not communicating. Communication is the only weapon she has against you. So be rational; don't feed her anything.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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piranha45 said:
Wrong mentality!

*Yoda quote*

There's nothing to "try" over. Cut communication entirely, and there's no issues left. She's going to throw you multiple drama hooks, but all you have to do is ignore them by not communicating. Communication is the only weapon she has against you. So be rational; don't feed her anything.

Alright I'm going to try this. Even though I KNOW this woman is poison to me, and I know it would be a huge mistake being with her, I still want her for some reason.

This is the BPD's mind control in action. They know how to do it. It's scary as hell!
 

piranha45

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It's easy to make the woman the scapegoat, "Oh she's BPD, this is inevitable". That way you can easily justify your behavior to yourself; you're not to blame for anything. Shes some cruel btch and you're just some hapless victim....


But you are a MAN. You take control of things and stay in control. So recognize the problem and DEAL with it--- "F*ck, I'm turning AFC, I need to straighten myself out".
 
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piranha45 said:
It's easy to make the woman the scapegoat, "Oh she's BPD, this is inevitable". That way you can easily justify your behavior to yourself; you're not to blame for anything. Shes some cruel btch and you're just some hapless victim....


But you are a MAN. You take control of things and stay in control. So recognize the problem and DEAL with it--- "F*ck, I'm turning AFC, I need to straighten myself out".

I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.

I should have just manned up and dumped her. I tried that, but I still cared for her and wanted her back. That's when the AFC came out.

So, most of this really is her fault by her actions but it's my fault too for putting up with it. I tried to justify her lying and cheating because we weren't "exclusive".... I thought maybe she can get another chance and prove she is a good woman.

That will never happen and if I give this woman another chance it will just delay the inevitable... more lies, more cheating... I feel bad for the guy who ends up with her.

She tried to make me that guy, but I called her out on her lies and games. I know what she is about, thats why she won't mess with me. I know her game.
 

piranha45

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Vlad the Impaler said:
Yeah, I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.
By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.

Read Str8up's and Rollo Tomassi's posts in this thread, and apply them to your situation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163120
 
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piranha45 said:
By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.

Read Str8up's and Rollo Tomassi's posts in this thread, and apply them to your situation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163120

I can only hope she learns from this and realizes she lost a good catch (me) because of her nasty behavior.

I'm sure that will never happen. She will just try and con the next guy. It's a lifestyle for these people, I don't think they can ever change.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jophil28

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Vlad the Impaler said:
I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.

I should have just manned up and dumped her. I tried that, but I still cared for her and wanted her back. That's when the AFC came out.
This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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jophil28 said:
This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.
That is a great idea.

And you're just the man to start the thread:yes:
 
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