Heretolearn
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2005
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ps some great posters looking out for others eg. BPD (Jophil etc).
thank you
thank you
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I think I may be BPD too.Heretolearn said:*smiles
THank you for this thread. I NEVER believed that my experience with a BPD would ever be positive. I harbour so much anger and frustration even today. Yet one TINY silver lining is seeing this thread. With an OUNCE of my experience I would suggest RUNNING LITTERALLY away everytime you heard a BPDs name. Seriously it is THAT messed up. Not even good for fun or whatever justification you can make.
Think venom from spiderman. They are symbiotes. They make you feel powerful but suck your soul and make you weaker and dependent.
You cannot get a little bit pregnant. And you cannot mess around a little bit with a BPD.
The rattlesnake metaphor is perfect. Just avoid and focus on the better things on life. TRULY believe in yourself and that you are better than this.
A BPD in my case was a distraction from life. It can be the end of it for many!
Vlad the Impaler said:I think I may be BPD too.
Yes, I am a grown ass man but I think I may have it too. That's why I love the BPD women and I hate the women who are normal. Women are not the only one's with BPD.
What then?
jophil28 said:Vlad. That tells you all you need to know about her. Proceed at your own risk.
Here is a classic example of how a woman's history will tell a new guy how she is going to behave with him.
Expect drama, faked up hysterics, breakups and makeups.
IF you can not get emotionally involved, then continue to see her, BUT I sense that you are already invested somewhat even though you claim to be able to "control it ". Ultimately the test of being 'in control' is our ability to just walk away if the situation degenerates.
Wrong mentality!Vlad the Impaler said:Well, things deteriorated with her this weekend and I'm going to try
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
piranha45 said:Wrong mentality!
*Yoda quote*
There's nothing to "try" over. Cut communication entirely, and there's no issues left. She's going to throw you multiple drama hooks, but all you have to do is ignore them by not communicating. Communication is the only weapon she has against you. So be rational; don't feed her anything.
piranha45 said:It's easy to make the woman the scapegoat, "Oh she's BPD, this is inevitable". That way you can easily justify your behavior to yourself; you're not to blame for anything. Shes some cruel btch and you're just some hapless victim....
But you are a MAN. You take control of things and stay in control. So recognize the problem and DEAL with it--- "F*ck, I'm turning AFC, I need to straighten myself out".
By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.Vlad the Impaler said:Yeah, I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.
piranha45 said:By ALWAYS keeping enough mental strength in reserve to walk away from her on a moment's notice. You don't let the woman's actions dictate your life. If she steps out of line, you walk away and find a new one. You should've cut her from your life the moment that happened.
Read Str8up's and Rollo Tomassi's posts in this thread, and apply them to your situation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163120
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.Vlad the Impaler said:I acted properly for the first two months, and then I found out she was a lying cheating hor behind my back. Not sure how a MAN can control a lying cheating woman behind our back.
I should have just manned up and dumped her. I tried that, but I still cared for her and wanted her back. That's when the AFC came out.
That is a great idea.jophil28 said:This is exactly why we all need to create for ourselves a clear and precise list of dealbreakers which we are will to apply regardless of our "feelings" for the woman.