That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
40 this monthI can't believe it seems like yesterday I was in high school thinking who am I going to take to prom and lurking on this forum just wanted to know who turns 40 next month
How time flies huh how long you been on here?40 this month
Only about a year…after spending my life so far being absolutely clueless about women I’m finally learning somethingHow time flies huh how long you been on here?
Dm me on in miamiOnly about a year…after spending my life so far being absolutely clueless about women I’m finally learning something
It’s hard to unlearn all the Hollywood/Disney/modern day simpery I’ve been exposed to all that time!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I can't believe it seems like yesterday I was in high school thinking who am I going to take to prom and lurking on this forum just wanted to know who turns 40 next month
Still keep in touch with them?I turned 40 in March 2016. That year does strike me as a stand-out year as I had two relationships that were still recent enough releative to that time (ie that one in 2012, and brief marrige in 2014), so one of those sweet-spots where the positive memories and aspects of those relationships were still in my system, and far enough that the negative aspects, such as the cause of break-up/seperation were more faded out, yet not too distant compared to now where I would feel more 'incel' or how I was prior to that in the first place. The overall feeling and vibe of being 40 was great at that time, and was one of the last years I ever Kayaked, rode a mountain bike in challeging trails, etc..... It strikes me as one of the last nice youthful type of years from the pre-covid/last decade.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
No luck there. Both are gone and had nasty break up/seperations. The last contact, my ex wife and myself did wish each other a happy birthday back in March this year. They both probably have other guys or boyfriends/husbands anyway.Still keep in touch with them?
You also feel old based on what is going on around you too. In my case, the pandemic, lockdowns, my folks and in particular my mother being very old, no younger people in life or any woman, eating and not enough exercise, feeling drained most of the time because of my setup probably is making me feel old in contrast to my age. 46 is otherwise quote young still in modern times.Enjoy the next 3-4 years from age 40-44. If you haven't already started to feel "old", by 44, you will.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.