Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
40 this monthI can't believe it seems like yesterday I was in high school thinking who am I going to take to prom and lurking on this forum just wanted to know who turns 40 next month
How time flies huh how long you been on here?40 this month
Only about a year…after spending my life so far being absolutely clueless about women I’m finally learning somethingHow time flies huh how long you been on here?
Dm me on in miamiOnly about a year…after spending my life so far being absolutely clueless about women I’m finally learning something
It’s hard to unlearn all the Hollywood/Disney/modern day simpery I’ve been exposed to all that time!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I can't believe it seems like yesterday I was in high school thinking who am I going to take to prom and lurking on this forum just wanted to know who turns 40 next month
Still keep in touch with them?I turned 40 in March 2016. That year does strike me as a stand-out year as I had two relationships that were still recent enough releative to that time (ie that one in 2012, and brief marrige in 2014), so one of those sweet-spots where the positive memories and aspects of those relationships were still in my system, and far enough that the negative aspects, such as the cause of break-up/seperation were more faded out, yet not too distant compared to now where I would feel more 'incel' or how I was prior to that in the first place. The overall feeling and vibe of being 40 was great at that time, and was one of the last years I ever Kayaked, rode a mountain bike in challeging trails, etc..... It strikes me as one of the last nice youthful type of years from the pre-covid/last decade.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
No luck there. Both are gone and had nasty break up/seperations. The last contact, my ex wife and myself did wish each other a happy birthday back in March this year. They both probably have other guys or boyfriends/husbands anyway.Still keep in touch with them?
You also feel old based on what is going on around you too. In my case, the pandemic, lockdowns, my folks and in particular my mother being very old, no younger people in life or any woman, eating and not enough exercise, feeling drained most of the time because of my setup probably is making me feel old in contrast to my age. 46 is otherwise quote young still in modern times.Enjoy the next 3-4 years from age 40-44. If you haven't already started to feel "old", by 44, you will.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.