"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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When you are being aggressive, do they laugh?

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Babnik

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Does it happen to you?

Often, when I call a chick and spend time talking with her for like 30 seconds, just to set up a date, I use commanding voice "Be at bla bla at 10, don't be late" and just practically tell them what to do.

Well, they LAUGH. They do exactly as I say, but often even in person when I command them they get SHOCKED and then start laughing.

Is this normal? Or are they making fun of me being aggressive? They always end up playing along with "yes, captain!" or "yes, sir!" but still laugh...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jonwon

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Babnik said:
Does it happen to you?

Often, when I call a chick and spend time talking with her for like 30 seconds, just to set up a date, I use commanding voice "Be at bla bla at 10, don't be late" and just practically tell them what to do.

Well, they LAUGH. They do exactly as I say, but often even in person when I command them they get SHOCKED and then start laughing.

Is this normal? Or are they making fun of me being aggressive? They always end up playing along with "yes, captain!" or "yes, sir!" but still laugh...
Click to expand...
Babnik how old are you?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Phyzzle

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What matters more: how long have you been in this country? There is something in your voice and demeanor that people find aggressive, and it's probably cultural.

But hey, if they're laughing, that is actually a good thing. . . .
 
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Babnik

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No, I am saying I try to be this way. I don't tend to ask a girl, I tend to tell her like "Come with me, do this, invite me, do this" and they like it, but they also laugh at it. Its just I can't figure out whether they laugh because they like it or because they are not taking me seriously. Regardless, they still do what I tell them to!
 
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petah2001

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I can very much relate to this behaviour and I think I know EXACTLY where they're coming from. When you command people to do things you're trying to take the role of dominance. Most people don't like being dominated so easily, because it's demeaning. If they were to follow your command without complaint it's being submissive, if they resist your command they feel like a douchebag.

Laughing takes the tesnion away from the situation. They still do what you tell you to do but they laugh to verify that they are not intimidated by you and you are not their master.
 
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lookyoung

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Babnick how old are you???????? Your threads are absolutely worthless. Why don't u spend time reading the information on sosuave.com instead of starting these garbage threads.
 
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