"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

when to follow-up date, make another?

P

phoneproblems

Don Juan
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How long after a first date do you wait to call or email if you liked her and she said she had a good time? Do you setup a second date right then or make her wait?

I am thinking to just email a note tonight that I had a good time Sat. so she doesn't write me off -- but not setup another date now. We are both busy and I have a couple other dates lined up. Something like:

"Hey, Sat. was great, esp. enjoyed bla bla bla. I am super busy the next couple weeks but will definitely be back in touch. Good luck with ..."

Also, am I right that I should not add any questions in there requiring response? Since we have moved from online to real world I don't want to slide back into a virtual thing. You guys agree?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

P

phoneproblems

Don Juan
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okay, here's what I got back:

"I had a very nice time too. I would definitely be up for hanging out sometime. ... maybe [date] we could get together?"

Note the word "nice" (which I didn't use myself) as well as "hanging out" and "sometime" (didn't use those terms either).

Seems like low interest, right? I just got turned into one of her girlfriends?
 
T

tmpgstx

Master Don Juan
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Sounds positive to me. The word *maybe* though is the kicker here.

Because you told her you were busy, then she threw that out there for you and with a specific date which is good.

She knows you're not asking her out as a friend, so this looks good.
 
H

Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
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looks fine for the get to know you stage.

a) she replied quickly
b) she wanted to meet up again.


No time to get oneitis though :)
 
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