Focal, could you expand more on this ?After few dates let say 3, then she become your gf..
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Focal, could you expand more on this ?After few dates let say 3, then she become your gf..
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Sure.. What is it you didnt understand?Focal, could you expand more on this ?
I disagree.Generally expand, a girl didnt stupid enought to stay more than 3 dates if she isnt highly interested in you, you need to further have emotional connection and deepens that intimacy to past a point of become orbiter,being friendzoned, or being an attention whoring to her. Thus the layman words gf. U can keep more than one gf at the time.. But the speacial ones always holds true in the end
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
3 dates? A relationship is up for discussion after her being a good girl for at least 6 months to a year. Nothing before that, no chance. I have had most crazy women show their crazy exactly somewhere between 6 months and a year.I disagree.
It doesn't mean a girl is stupid if she requires more time to feel a man out after 3 dates.
It would mean that she's smart to require more time to get to know a man.
But it's not abt the girl. It never is. It's abt the man. And the man must take the lead in this matters.
3 dates is not sufficient for a man to qualify a girl as his girlfriend.
A man must have standards.
You're 25 and the other is 38...3 dates? A relationship is up for discussion after her being a good girl for at least 6 months to a year. Nothing before that, no chance. I have had most crazy women show their crazy exactly somewhere between 6 months and a year.
This is where youre totally misleading, what a bunch of crap advised youre giving to the op who are seeking a monogamous relationship. You should give this advised to a totally crappy guys who couldnt get a girl to be in a LTR or wants to be in hypergamy relationship.. Focusing more on the op needs not based totally on your crappy experience or past relationship that youre having.The question itself that you're asking has no place at the stage you're at. You're 38, not 18 and virgin. An 18 year old boy who's brainwashed from movies to "say I love you", I would understand. A man who asks "how can I have sex with when she's not yet my girlfriend"...uh uh...buddy, there's tons of people out there having superb sex without being in a relationship. If a girl wants you enough, having sex with you before being your girlfriend is one of the easiest things for her to do.
Now let's get to the "I love you" part. "Love" for you as a man is different from "love" for her as a woman. We love physically, although most men never get this, we "love" their bodies, their sex, their smell, their BJs, the way she rides bla bla. On the other hand, she loves you mentally and emotionally, your guidance, your manhood, your leadership in the relationship, the way you solve situations/problems in your life. At most, we can like them as human beings and they can like us for our sex. We don't love women, that's just brainwashing from movies/songs/etc LOL They love us and you know why? Because they have plenty of reasons to. Say you're a cool guy, with hobbies, friends, good social connections, you're doing what you want in life, earning decent money for it and everyday more and more, you're interesting, you know stuff. You're cool, dude! How can you not love that? Now, with the qualities I just mentioned above, I never knew any girl/woman like that. Some of them are cute, grumpy, sweet, hot, warm, but cool/interesting/well charactered girls? No such thing LOL and that's OK, we're opposites that complete each other.
If you tell her you love her, this is for her, to make her feel better, not for you. You shouldn't even give a damn about the "I love you" part cause it's not that you feel like her. She wants you to say that, but in her way and most men do just because they afraid to lose that tight, grippiing "hand" on their penis.
You don't say "I love you" especially without having sex with the girl for some time and liking it. When you're having sex and liking it, then you might actually "fall in love with her" in the manly version of love which is AKA I love your sex.
And i didnt hear that youre giving more valueble insight to the op beside going to the movies daaa.. And obviously youre not genuinely asking me question to get answers, its just an ego purely out of petty child need for granduer.. Obviously there will be no growth in you to learn and nowhere you can lead without humility..You're 25 and the other is 38...
I'm shaking my head in disbelief..
Kudos 2 you brother. You should come here more often giving advice. This place sorely needs more experienced men.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I'd like to answer to you, but I don't see any point you've made here. Can;t answer to a pointless post.This is where youre totally misleading, what a bunch of crap advised youre giving to the op who are seeking a monogamous relationship. You should give this advised to a totally crappy guys who couldnt get a girl to be in a LTR or wants to be in hypergamy relationship.. Focusing more on the op needs not based totally on your crappy experience or past relationship that youre having.
Wrong post at the wrong thread buddy.. Try next time
The movie thingy was an example to OP to lead her on a date.And i didnt hear that youre giving more valueble insight to the op beside going to the movies daaa..
I asked about the 3 dates = automatic girlfriend status because I wasn't sure what you meant.And obviously youre not genuinely asking me question to get answers, its just an ego purely out of petty child need for granduer..
I respectfully decline to learn what you're projected in this thread.Obviously there will be no growth in you to learn and nowhere you can lead without humility...
Feel free to press the ignore button. I won't hold that against you.Next time im ignoring you kiddo.
This is where you drop her.. Mine a covert narc show at a year..3 dates? A relationship is up for discussion after her being a good girl for at least 6 months to a year. Nothing before that, no chance. I have had most crazy women show their crazy exactly somewhere between 6 months and a year.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Like a Weathervane?If your little Dave, any time a woman (or guy depending on your take on his preferences.. ) looks in your direction!
This. Once she's in your frame, she'll follow your lead. I moved my girlfriend into my place pretty early in our relationship. Both of us thought it was a little early, but at the same time, it was mutually beneficial and my thought process was if we can't live together then there's not much point in continuing the relationship anyway. We talked, I said I think we will be fine together because of our personalities and that it was beneficial to both of us. She agreed and moved in despite initially being against the idea. So far it's been great.There is no right time to do anything, you go off your gut instinct. You do what you wanna do.
When she's in your frame it doesn't matter what you do because she will eat it up.
Remain strong and in your masculine frame at all times and then you will stop worrying about pointless things.
Again, there's no right time to say it, you say it when you wanna say it, that's a mot issue, the main point is your frame.
1.) Buy her flowers and spend as much as you can. Get the expensive ones.How am I going to have sex with her if shes not my GF
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.