When is it too much?

[Divorced w 3]

Simple question. Been about two months now. Seeing each other a lot. Spent about 6 straight days together from Friday morning to Thursday morning. She’s going away Monday morning to Sunday on business. The opportunity probably exists if I wanted to hook up Sunday night and could head out Monday morning. Just curious on what that comes off as. I feel like by knowing it’s there, and not acting on it, I clearly show restraint and frame, but at the same time, if I want something what’s to stop me from going to get it. Plus she called me after swapping filthy selfies and we spent 3.5 hours on the phone, FaceTimed and had multiple orgasms. She hinted a couple of times that it’s going to be a while until we see each other. I feel like she is hinting at me asking.

 

[Stanley]

Sounds like girlfriend territory if y'all spending that much time together. What is it you want from her?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Sounds like girlfriend territory if y'all spending that much time together. What is it you want from her?

She is my girlfriend at this point but it’s funny you ask, what is it I want. When I went to Florida a couple of weeks ago I joked around and called it a layover. But we had fire sex and it was definitely not regretted by either. Could throw the idea out for another layover. It would also be very satisfying to smash her hard the morning of her flight out there.

 

[Gamisch]

On one hand you could see her again , and call it " romance ". On the other hand you've spend 6 days with her, and not seeing her for a week might be good for the "longevity " of the relationship.

Sounds like you are in love bruh!

 

[Divorced w 3]

I know. Fvck. Didn’t see this coming.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Is it love, or lust?

Follow your heart.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Is it love, or lust?

Follow your heart.

My dude!!!

 

[Divorced w 3]

Btw the right answer I think, after sleep, and a workout, is give her space. Let it build up a little. If she’s asking outright for tomorrow that’s another thing entirely but has not happened. I’m going out tonight with my boys, need to make sure life is in balance. My hormones are all out of whack right now, the workout was a huge help.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Simple question. Been about two months now. Seeing each other a lot. Spent about 6 straight days together from Friday morning to Thursday morning. She’s going away Monday morning to Sunday on business. The opportunity probably exists if I wanted to hook up Sunday night and could head out Monday morning. Just curious on what that comes off as. I feel like by knowing it’s there, and not acting on it, I clearly show restraint and frame, but at the same time, if I want something what’s to stop me from going to get it. Plus she called me after swapping filthy selfies and we spent 3.5 hours on the phone, FaceTimed and had multiple orgasms. She hinted a couple of times that it’s going to be a while until we see each other. I feel like she is hinting at me asking.

It's already too much. Like way way too much. You are trying to create a 5 year relationship in 2 months, that will always backfire on you and usually sooner rather than later.

One day she will wake up feeling smothered by you and it will be the beginning of the end. She will start acting weird, distant, you'll wonder what is going on and that will be the reason even if she can't clearly state it or even if she doesn't realize it herself.

The more you burn the candle, the faster it burns out and you are burning this candle at an exceptionally fast rate right now and at both ends.

For others, this is a blueprint for how to be in an intense 3-4 month relationship and have it end out of nowhere because she says she needs space or "just can't do this anymore".

 

[Divorced w 3]

It's already too much. Like way way too much. You are trying to create a 5 year relationship in 2 months, that will always backfire on you and usually sooner rather than later.

One day she will wake up feeling smothered by you and it will be the beginning of the end. She will start acting weird, distant, you'll wonder what is going on and that will be the reason even if she can't clearly state it or even if she doesn't realize it herself.

The more you burn the candle, the faster it burns out and you are burning this candle at an exceptionally fast rate right now and at both ends.

For others, this is a blueprint for how to be in an intense 3-4 month relationship and have it end out of nowhere because she says she needs space or "just can't do this anymore".

Would be so so much easier if she didn’t send me all the filthy vids and photos We literally have the sex life people write books on. I’m sure you’re not wrong, and I need to think with the head on my shoulders here also.

 

[Steno]

Its been 2 months since you guys started dating or 2 months since you guys became bf and gf?

2 months is too fast to get into a relationship and shockingly fast to be seeing her more than like once/twice a week. The only time you should be seeing a girl anywhere near this frequently is if your living together. You also shouldn't be talking to chicks on the phone for 4 hours, how do you even have time to do that?

I'm not sure what the point of this thread is but all I can say is that it seems like you are way too clingy. My advice would be to back off A LOT. You kind of put yourself in a bad situation by seeing her so many days in the week so now its going to feel weird if you are trying to tone it down. I would advice you to slowly dial it back to maybe seeing her like 2-3 times a week and slowly dial back the duration of those phone calls, shouldn't be on the phone more than like 15 minutes.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Advice to anyone reading this post: Please have some self respect and don't spend 6 days straight with a woman.. Especially if you're going to be twiddling your thumb's and not knowing when you should fucc her or not.

As men we need to operate on what we want and how we feel, and not "when you SHOULD" do anything. Passion doesn't come with a should..

If you ever call a girl your girlfriend but dont know whether you should fucc her or not, I'd say just castrate yourself because you're not using your balls anyways.

With that being said, Some men just exude such beta male nature. I think there's nothing wrong with that but they need to accept who they are.. You can't just be beta and also try to be alpha in other instances.. Know where you stand.

 

[The Duke]

@Divorced w 3, real it in. this is way too much. Good way to sabotage any relationship.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Show some restraint.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is another take but OP if you do want to be mutually "in love" with this girl, allow her the space on her trip for her whatever feelings she has to cement. Often this is where the "falling" happens, is during a moment of separation. Not that I particularly advise falling in love, but if this is where you are both at, best to let it simmer on the stove/cook in the oven without than phucking with the temperature. Let it develop. In this case, now that you are already "involved", your emotions are more important than your c0ck.

 

[Bokanovsky]

@Divorced w 3, real it in. this is way too much. Good way to sabotage any relationship.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Show some restraint.

A flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long. OP, at this rate, your relationship is going to burn out fast.

 

[Murk]

I agree with everyone above, but @Divorced w 3 you have been taking a concoction of hormones for a while now and likely not thinking straight, you seem all over the place.

 

[Divorced w 3]

All good points. Thank you

 

[ubercat]

Yea and this is a self improvement site so Apologies in advance I am going to should on you.

Deeper issue is that you should have have a bunch of positive activities in a routine you do so you just shouldn't have that much time available

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yea and this is a self improvement site so Apologies in advance I am going to should on you.

Deeper issue is that you should have have a bunch of positive activities in a routine you do so you just shouldn't have that much time available

Replying to you but this goes for everyone… no problem at all, I solicited and appreciated the feedback.

The thing is, while I had no problem going out on the weekends and running game at the local bar scene, I was / am very very far removed from the dating scene. I am learning it back as I go. Last summer it was a case of ONEItis, which came on way too fast, so this time I played it much better the first few dates and then, between the regular, hot sex, mutual personal interest and the intrigue of something new, plus the softer dynamics of mutual physical touch appreciation, stress relief from the diversion, the thoughtful gestures etc, and a big plus that she loves kids. I got away from personal balance (in spite of knowing it was going too fast.)

I'm getting some concerned grief from a few of my boys about balance, about not keeping my options open, about spending too much time, and about setting myself up for a bad end result. I am technically dating within a legal separation (hopefully near end stage but with her, who knows).

I’ll hit the gym tonight and then in the comfort of my living room I am going to put pen to paper and remind myself of my priorities. I haven’t done that in months and anyone who journals knows how helpful it is to clarify the mind.

much appreciate all involved in the thread.

Edit. On a couple other notes. I went out Saturday with my friend and long story short, the hottest chick I have met in a year threw herself at me so I made out with her and grabbed her ass. She has my debit card (since canceled) so I may go get that later tonight. Nice to know I still got it.

oh and I went over there and fvcked my gf 5x last night. May as well throw it out there.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I hate to say this, but after thinking more on this and re-reading what you wrote, this has all the markings of a co-dependancy relationship.