When a woman says "we can go out as friends"

[BackInTheGame78]

Not necessarily. It could be workout talk the whole time, all business.



A man can't turn it around in a different setting?

I think zekko said it, this is different than a man going out with her several times and then a woman says it. If a woman is willing to be seen with the man and spend with the man, whether its a free lunch or not, its an opportunity.

I'm little surprised the top Alpha Dog's in here are saying "you're done" and "humiliated" and "its over" when a woman says "we can go only as friends". The response I gave was "Sure, I'll pick you up at 12 pm." In fact, my response could be interpreted as "yes I want friendship too, you are not hot enough for me to sleep with you."

For alot of men, it takes time to develop something with a woman. They aren't top men on Sosuave where a woman's clothes come off after a 1st date and the hot woman feels blessed she gave into her basic instincts to such a Alpha.

Yet maybe they should work on being that guy.

Any man with options would have zero time for this silliness. Period.

And any woman who knew the man has options that was actually interested would never even try that to begin with.

You seem to be getting yourself twisted up like a pretzel trying to figure a way to crack a case that would be better served letting go cold.

By the time anything with this woman will happen, you could have dated and fvcked multiple other women and have a rotation going where you wouldn't even have room for her.

The issue is more that your time should be valuable and you shouldn't entertain this type of nonsense regardless of what you think could happen which is most likely a projection of what you want to happen versus what she wants to happen.

 

[Gamisch]

Any man with options would have zero time for this silliness. Period.

And any woman who knew the man has options that was actually interested would never even try that to begin with.

You seem to be getting yourself twisted up like a pretzel trying to figure a way to crack a case that would be better served letting go cold.

By the time anything with this woman will happen, you could have dated and fvcked multiple other women and have a rotation going where you wouldn't even have room for her.

The issue is more that your time should be valuable and you shouldn't entertain this type of nonsense regardless of what you think could happen which is most likely a projection of what you want to happen versus what she wants to happen.

It's all subjective, as what constitutes a "don", an "alpha", or whatever other title that used used in the manosphere to describe a man's behaviors and/or mentality...particularly in the context of dating.



That said..in my opinion..



A man who willfully subjects himself to be in the friendzone by a woman, cannot be considered a "don juan" or an "alpha male".



Nor can a man be an alpha, if he is advising men to be friends-zoned.



One of the traits of an alpha male is leadership.



As a man, you are to lead the exchange and dictate the type of relationship you want with a woman, and if she doesn't follow your lead, then she aint for you.



Move the f on, and find women that will follow your program.



If you allow yourself to be friends-zoned, you are following her lead..when she should be following your lead.



But, that's what scarcity will do to you.



It will have to you panting around and following women like a pet puppy B!TCH.



Instead of being a wolf; a man of abundance, standards, and principles.

Okay yall kinda convinced me

 

[BadBoy89]

This is just irrational and a good example of confirmation bias. You're choosing to believe the possibility you hope is true while ignoring the stronger evidence right in front of you. You are paying more attention to things that support the outcome you want and dismissing the information that go against it.

This is the similar to the advice given on Sosuave.

Since I didn’t sleep with her, a lot of the responses were “you didn’t listen to her” “it was a waste of time” “I’ve never been friendzoned”. ‘You were humiliated”

If I had slept with her, the responses would have been “good you brushed it off, girls are silly“. “Good you focused on your goal”. “Good you weren’t fazed by her words”

The advice given on Sosuave depends on the outcome of the situation.

 

[Clockwerk50]

This is the similar to the advice given on Sosuave.

Since I didn’t sleep with her, a lot of the responses were “you didn’t listen to her” “it was a waste of time” “I’ve never been friendzoned”. ‘You were humiliated”

If I had slept with her, the responses would have been “good you brushed it off, girls are silly“. “Good you focused on your goal”. “Good you weren’t fazed by her words”

The advice given on Sosuave depends on the outcome of the situation.

Yes, on most forums people judge a decision by how it turned out instead of by what information the person had at the time. That's just how online advice forums usually work. But if you ignore the outcome and just look at the advice people gave in this thread, a pretty clear pattern shows up.

The first debate was what "friends" actually means. The majority (about 60%) said to treat it as a soft rejection, respect the boundary, and not waste time trying to change her mind. The minority (about 30%) said the label isn't decisive, to watch her behaviour instead, and that if she's still willing to spend one-on-one time with you there's still an opportunity. Regardless, they even admitted the odds were low; they didn't say it was impossible but that the most possible outcome it was that it is unlikely.

Secondly, the next debate became whether, even if there's a chance, it's worth pursuing. The most common answer was that even if there's a 10% chance, a man with options is better off pursuing women who show clearer interest. The argument was that the expected payoff in a situation such as this is too low. From this perspective, "friends only" lowers the odds enough that pursuing someone else is the better expected-value decision, even if exceptions exist.

So overall, about 3/4 of the replies were basically saying to treat it as a rejection, or at least not invest much time into it, while about 1/4 thought there was still a chance if you handled it well. The point was that, based on the information available, the higher-probability outcome was that it would not become romantic, and the odds were not in your favour. Looking back, that's exactly what happened, you had a few lunches together, but it never progressed beyond that.

Lastly, I'll leave you with a quote from The Art of Seduction:

"Throughout life we find ourselves having to persuade people—to seduce them... Seducers, whether sexual or social, prefer to pick the odds... To leave people who are inaccessible to you alone is a wise path; you cannot seduce everyone. On the other hand, you must actively hunt out the prey that responds the right way. This will make your seductions that much more pleasurable and satisfying."

Hope this helps.

 

[FurryFriend]

Take this "only as a friend" comment with a grain of salt.

What she's really saying is, this is a no-strings-attached date and she's not obligated to give you anything in return whether it's sex. attention, a second date, a hug, etc.

Don't worry about this comment. Any chance to spend time together is a good thing. Women say this nonsense stuff all the time. When did we all start taking women so literally?

 

[Mike32ct]

If you’re the “abundance guy” with 10 chicks lined up, then maybe it’s not necessarily worth your time.

But for most guys, an opportunity to even hang out with a hot chick is usually worth it. Even if you get friendzoned worst-case, it’s more practice being comfortable and chill around a hot chick, which is great.