When a woman says "we can go out as friends"

[BadBoy89]

How does Sosuave take it when a woman they like says "we can go out as friends"?

Had a personal trainer, she was in her 20s and hot. After several months I told her during a session "oh hey I'd like to take you to lunch as a thanks for training me." Totally thinking she would say "go to hell I have a 6'2 boyfriend" or something. She said ok. I was about 97% shocked.

That night I texted her to go for lunch in 2 days and she said "ok, but only as friends" I said "Sure. I'll pick you up at this time." The thinking on my end "as long as you can get her out 1 on 1, there is a chance, you have to show her what you got." It was a good time and I took her out a few more times after that. I really liked her but no I didn't sleep with her

So if Sosuave hears "we can go as friends" is it game over? They are done with the woman?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How does Sosuave take it when a woman they like says "we can go out as friends"?

Had a personal trainer, she was in her 20s and hot. After several months I told her during a session "oh hey I'd like to take you to lunch as a thanks for training me." Totally thinking she would say "go to hell I have a 6'2 boyfriend" or something. She said ok. I was about 97% shocked.

That night I texted her to go for lunch in 2 days and she said "ok, but only as friends" I said "Sure. I'll pick you up at this time." The thinking on my end "as long as you can get her out 1 on 1, there is a chance, you have to show her what you got." It was a good time and I took her out a few more times after that. I really liked her but no I didn't sleep with her

So if Sosuave hears "we can go as friends" is it game over? They are done with the woman?

I mean if you got nothing better to do or want some practice then sure.

This is the lowest play possible because she already has told you she has zero sexual interest in you and even worse, sees you as no threat to any guy she is dating.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

It's bad enough that you used this passive/aggressive method to get a date with someone that had no interest in you and only had to be around because she was getting paid...

"oh hey I'd like to take you to lunch as a thanks for training me."

The thinking on my end "as long as you can get her out 1 on 1, there is a chance, you have to show her what you got."

... but whatever little place in your mind that told you that last statement was a good idea ..... never go there again.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Depends if I have nothing better to do and Im definitely only paying for my portion

 

[Mike32ct]

If you’re bored or just want some company to hang out with or practice being around a cute chick, that’s fine.

But if she says “only as friends” you have pretty much zero chance of turning it into more. (In the rare 1% chance she changes her mind, she would need to make the move on you or make it VERY obvious.)

I’ve never been counter-offered with a “friend date.” It would typically be a rejection if they weren’t interested. But good for you for at least shooting your shot and trying.

I’ve had female coworkers invite me out on “friend dates” but they never said “just as friends” it was just sort of understood/implied.

 

[Clockwerk50]

There are instances where romantic relationships develop from acquaintances or friends to lovers. Sometimes attraction grows gradually as two people become more comfortable with each other, and what begins as a friendship can naturally evolve into something more. However, context matters. Sometimes friendship leads to romance, while other times it reflects a genuine lack of romantic interest. If someone has already decided you're better suited as a friend, continuing to hope they'll eventually change their mind usually isn't the best approach.

Look, we weren't there for every interaction, so there is always some nuance. Attraction can be communicated through behavior, body language, and subtle cues, but in your case, she already knew you through months of working together in a professional setting. You weren't a stranger; she had already formed an impression of you through repeated interactions. If romantic attraction were going to develop naturally from familiarity and comfort, she had already had plenty of opportunities for that to happen. Therefore, if someone is genuinely interested in pursuing something more, they usually leave room for that possibility rather than immediately defining the relationship as friendship from the beginning. By specifically adding "only as friends" before the lunch even happened, she was likely setting a clear boundary and communicating how she viewed the relationship.

At this point, the question is whether you're genuinely interested in a friendship or whether it's better to move on and pursue someone who's interested romantically.

 

[Plinco]

If a woman wanted to go out with me as a friend then I'd take her dancing. More social proof for me.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Real talk, it could just be a dumb shvt test. Most men do not even know what the friend zone and just used it to cover up that she rejected him lightly. If a woman is willing to spend time with you, that’s high enough interest in itself.

 

[zekko]

I've turned this around before, quite successfully. The key is to just go along with it, have fun, be fun, and throw in some escalation. Don't be butthurt or phased in the least bit. Once they buy into it, they usually buy into it heavily. Sometimes they just have to get used to the idea. Mind you, this was for physical attraction use only, not for romantic love. That's a different story I think, although I'm sure it's been done.

 

[Gamisch]

I mean if you got nothing better to do or want some practice then sure.

This is the lowest play possible because she already has told you she has zero sexual interest in you and even worse, sees you as no threat to any guy she is dating.

I disagree

Its a clear sign that you came on too strong. She's acknowledging his sexual energy and tries to protect herself.

This is what we men( rightfully so) dont understand about women. If he had zero chance she wouldn't even consider the date. Now she has an exit but YET he gets the "opportunity " to show he's that guy.

I do however agree that its not an easy task. Personally I wouldn't even continue . Plenty of fish in the ocean, and if she is doubting him from the get go it takes just a minor error to make her reject you

 

[zekko]

no its one of the biggest insults a men can receive, subconsciously you were deemed as the safe beta male

That's where you prove her wrong. But I get not wanting to bother, I probably wouldn't these days, but when I was younger I had more patience. Another thing that helps is let her know how much she turns you on - puts ideas in her head.

 

[viking22]

She already just sees you as a client and is setting boundaries. You’re basically just feeding her between her PT sessions.

 

[sevbucmash]

OP:
That's shield, not soft rejection.

Did she show any signs of romantic interest in you while the two of you were out? Eye contact, teasing, lingering, asking personal question, etc, etc.

YES --> Cautions but open, it was a shield on her part.
NO --> Politely uninterested.

Frankly though, this was suppose to be the work you should have done before asking her out, did she show any romantic interest in you, was there any AI's other than her fine butt and succulent breasts? Because if there was AI's you'd have your work cut out for yourself.

 

[BadBoy89]

she already has told you she has zero sexual interest in you

someone that had no interest in you. never go there again.

never in my life i got the friendzone

By specifically adding "only as friends" before the lunch even happened, she was likely setting a clear boundary and communicating how she viewed the relationship.

She isn't interested when you hear that coming out of her mouth

Sosuave always says when it comes to hot women, its her “actions before words” and "don't take what women say seriously" and "treat women as silly and cute".

Why now Sosuave is saying: "when a woman says 'we can go out as friends', take these words literally". If these words are to be taken literally, every else a woman's says has to be taken literally.

Unless Sosuave is saying "when a woman's speaks, pick and choose what to take literally depending on the day of the week"

Real talk, it could just be a dumb shvt test. Most men do not even know what the friend zone and just used it to cover up that she rejected him lightly. If a woman is willing to spend time with you, that’s high enough interest in itself.

I agree with this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Hmm.

A lot of so called "Don's" on here, are advising this poor bloke to accept being friendzoned.

"If you have nothing else better to do, go for it".

.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Usually if someone goes from friends to lovers, its because he was a Placeholder and the lover label is not genuine. There is a study that relationships that develop after going from friends to lovers dont hold long, even two times less then distance relationships. There is a good reason why you were friendzoned, thats nothing you can fake. Its ingrained in the female subconcious that it wont hold.

Where did you find this study? All I was able to find was that two thirds of all romantic relationships start out as friendships, and it's actually the most common and preferred way people get together according to the below research study from 2021. I couldn't find any peer-reviewed paper claiming friends-to-lovers relationships break up 'two times more than long-distance relationships.'

The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science - PMC

Sosuave always says when it comes to hot women, its her “actions before words” and "don't take what women say seriously" and "treat women as silly and cute".

Why now Sosuave is saying: "when a woman says 'we can go out as friends', take these words literally". If these words are to be taken literally, every else a woman's says has to be taken literally.

Unless Sosuave is saying "when a woman's speaks, pick and choose what to take literally depending on the day of the week"



I agree with this.

All of those quotes just mean that women communicate subtly and covertly, until they aren't.

"Only as friends" can mean anything from “I’m not interested at all,” to “I’m not looking at you romantically right now, but I’m open to getting to know you,” to “I like you, but I don’t want to seem easy,” and everything in between. The point is that attraction is communicated through a pattern of words, body language, and behaviour. People who focus only on words or only on actions often misread the situation.

That said, if someone explicitly defines the relationship as friendship and their actions consistently match that, there’s no hidden message to decode. If her behaviour later becomes clearly romantic, then reassess. Otherwise, take the friendship at face value, especially if one is illiterate in female communication.

 

[Gamisch]

Noo... bro, its a frame grab and a manipulation tactic haha. She isn't interested when you hear that coming out of her mouth

I kinda agree with you ...


It IS an insult. But yet...if she does go there's still an opportunity for OP.

As I said , personally I wouldn't eject and let her go. But I can imagine that he wont be the first nor the last man to bed a woman after hearing that sentence.

 

[Gamisch]

Hmm.

A lot of so called "Don's" on here, are advising this poor bloke to accept being friendzoned.

"If you have nothing else better to do, go for it".

.

Tbh this one is kinda tricky innit?

What's good advice? To tell him " ditch her ( lets say hb8,5) because its a humiliation ritual ". Yet ,she will go through all the motion to prepare for a date / being out in public including shaving her self...

Yes, if a man has an abundance he could and perhaps should ditch her. But let's be real; if a man only gets som many shots at hot women he just might give it a try...

Again, personally I wouldn't go through with it. But I can also imagine "dons" saying he shouldn't give up yet.

 

[MatureDJ]

So if Sosuave hears "we can go as friends" is it game over? They are done with the woman?

It had never BEGUN for you.

 

[MatureDJ]

no its one of the biggest insults a men can receive, subconsciously you were deemed as the safe beta male

Agreed, it is a SUPER insult.