Pretty straight forward question. Had a girl ask me what I see in her. I assume this is because of her low self esteem, she's the kind of girl that goes after so-called "players" and always gets hurt by them (though she doesn't know I'm seeing 2 other girls). Anyway, it just caught me by surprise, so it got me wondering where she's coming from. Any thoughts?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
When a girl asked what you see in her; is that just her low self esteem?
- Thread starter NewGuy72
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
She wants to know you "see her as a real person" not just a warm hole to shove your winkie into.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
WaterTiger said:
Exactly.
In fact, if you got your act together, and are real catch, the more attractive she is, the more she will ask you these questions. A form of validation, that you don't just want her for sex.
The very reason why complimenting her on her looks right off the bat, as most chumps feel compelled to do, doesn't work as good on very attractive women, but complementing them on something they value in themselves will get you pretty much anywhere with her.
Hmm, that makes a lot of sense. It's a good thing I didn't just compliment her looks after that, instead I complimented her personality (she's not super hot but has a good personality, at least when she isn't bitter about the guys who've hurt her).
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Girl: So what do you see in me?
You: My PP
You: My PP
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Scars
Master Don Juan
It's just her securing herself as a woman, she doesn't want to feel slutty. She knows that as a man you have sexual desires and want sex, but she likes to hear otherwise, whether you're talking out of your ass or not.