mahon83050
Banned
There is some chick I am pursueing at work. When we e-mail each other she occassionally says.....talk to you later buddy or alright man. Is this ******** for LJBF.?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Hahahaha rumour time!Originally posted by bonjove
Yeah, I really blew a situation like this once. There was this girl who heard about this girl, and what she did and was trying to get me to ask her out. Well, I asked her why she cared, and she's like "I'm your friend," and then I got all sarcastic and said "Yeah, that's what all the girls say! All the time they just want to be friends with me." The she is like, you are so loud, people in the dorm will hear about this, quiet down. So I say really loud "Hey, everyone in the dorm, it's rumor time, tell your friends." Then she's like "I'm leaving now," and so she left. I talked with her the day after and said I was just being sarcastic, and wasn't serious, and that sometimes I think she treats me like crap, so she goes "If a girl does stuff like that she probably likes you." So, I'm like "Whatever."
Don't ever act like that it's not kosher.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
i havent asked her out cause i simmply dont have the time for it with school, work, gym.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Good suggestion!Originally posted by BrWnSugaMan
On the last class day don't ask her out in class but instead wait until later on that night. Then call her up and say something like, "I really enjoyed having class with you this semester and I would like to see you again sometime. How about we do XXX on Friday/Saturaday night?"
ok thanks for the advice, but arent fridays and weekends reserved for my friends?Originally posted by BrWnSugaMan
ScrewIt,
Asking her out in front of her friends is not a good idea. Here is one possible option:
On the last class day don't ask her out in class but instead wait until later on that night. Then call her up and say something like, "I really enjoyed having class with you this semester and I would like to see you again sometime. How about we do x on Friday/Saturaday night?"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.