Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

What's your biggest lesson


Master Don Juan
Nov 2, 2016
Reaction score
When you finally understand what a healthy dating/relationship dynamic feels like because the veil of brainwashing has been lifted.

It feels like this:
  1. You no longer experience neediness of any kind. No matter what, you don't need your partner for anything. You simply enjoy them.
  2. You no longer experience fear of her leaving you or cheating on you because if she does, you know you are still a high-value man and also that you can get another girl without problem.
  3. You are no longer impacted by games
  4. You are no longer afraid to set boundaries for fear of losing her
  5. No part of your identity or pride is tied to her. If the relationship ended and you found yourself single, you'd feel no less of a person, nor be ashamed socially
  6. You put yourself first, and understand doing so is NOT a bad or wrong thing (this doesn't mean you don't consider other people)
  7. I'm stealing another poster's words here, but I can't think of a better way to say it: "You

  8. quit taking women so seriously and you think of them as children." Now I will add my own interpretations as to what that looks like. It means you understand that women do not think the same way as men, and due to this and due to their emotions, YOU must make decisions yourself, including how to "manage" and "discipline" them. It's like a child - You don't argue with a child do you? Why? Because you KNOW that you know better than them. So if they try to drag you down into childish games and fights, you don't participate, and if her behavior warrants it, you implement a consequence. That consequence is usually withdrawing your time and attention. Most issues with women can be seen as a child-like temper tantrum and attention-seeking game playing. Rather than take these things at face-value, you have to see them for what they are, laugh to yourself, and then act as I mentioned above.
  9. Related to above - You realize that YOU set your reality, not someone else. If something bothers you and you express it by setting a boundary, you do not engage in an argument if she pushes back and tells you that your concern is unwarranted, unfair, or anything else. You SHOULD absolutely listen to her, and evaluate what she says, and you may choose to change your mind if what she tells you really does convince you that you missed something in your thinking, but ultimately you have to understand that you are the decision maker and if she doesn't agree with your decision, that's her problem.
  10. If you actually want a relationship with a woman, you have to change your mindset about their temper tantrums and childish games. Women all do these things - you aren't going to find a unicorn that never does. Instead of seeing them as unbearable, you have to see them as women wanting to feel and experience your masculine power. They love when you stand up to them (though they usually won't show it in-the-moment), and when you treat them as the children they are. It's in the way you stay above their games and punish them as-needed by setting boundaries and if necessary, withdrawing your attention. This feels so sexist to say but trust me, I've tried it both ways and there is only one way that works.
  11. Your strength and masculinity from the characteristics above causes women to become more attracted to you, in general, and if it does not then they have filtered themselves out to you as being unqualified candidates for your time and attention, so good-riddance.
Very good post!

This should be the mental state of every man.

Breakups should an inconvenience, not a world mover

Games should be fun, not stressful

Men should follow their story, not let someone else write it for them

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Sep 16, 2005
Reaction score
Mile High City, USA
This is a good topic. It's one that pops up every few months but "repetition is the mother of skill."

After being in the dating scene and having numerous LTRs over the course of 30+ years, here are my thoughts and experiences on what women subconsciously want and find attractive in men. BTW, female motivation and what they find attractive in men has not changed in 10,000+ years.

In loose order of importance:

1-Focus on YOU: Always strive to get better, have goals, be ok with failing, see yourself as an ongoing project. Grow physically, emotionally, financially, professionally, spiritually. You are never "done." MEN have goals and pursue greatness to the best of their God-given ability. LOSERS make up all kind of excuses as to why it's "too hard, I'll never change, I can't do it, etc." The benefits are too numerous to mention, but following my advice here will result in greater levels of confidence, maturity, self-esteem, and success--100% guaranteed--which in turn will make you exponentially more attractive to the opposite sex.

2-See women as a small side dish on a huge plate of food. Women and the pursuit of should NEVER be your main objective. Sure they're on your plate but not the main course. This will ring hollow with most of you here, but any other mindset will result in much failure and frustration with women.

3-Focus on a woman's ACTIONS not words. They are emotional creatures and OFTEN don't mean what they say. This only comes with experience.

4-TRULY develop and embrace the IDGAF attitude. Meaning, don't put so much credence and emphasis on what OTHERS think of you. I know this is really tough for most people, BUT in life you'll have your share of failures, disappointments, and rejection. The ONLY thing that matters is what YOU think of YOU.

5-Similar to #1 above, work on something bigger than YOU. About the worst thing you can do as a man is follow orders someone else gives you your entire life; wife, boss, family, whatever. MEN LEAD. At the end of the day, you need to lead YOURSELF, so take on something bigger than you: start a business, a non-profit, a cause, set a MAJOR goal. Whatever. Women find men with goals highly attractive.

6-NEVER under any circumstances get overly emotional (whine, cry, pout, tantrums) in the presence of women--IF you want her to find you attractive at any level. Women want MEN who can handle adversity and have a plan. 97% of all men are goal-less, feminine, dainty, and have no direction in life. They take orders from everyone. At the DNA level, this repulses women and her animal brain says BAD choice to breed with.

Bottom line: Be a MAN, not a BOY and there's a huge difference. Men pursue and accomplish, boys sit back, want handouts, and make excuses.

Which are you right now?

Good luck.



Master Don Juan
Aug 27, 2015
Reaction score
I learned to never ask my blue pilled friends for advice as regards dealing with women. I especially learned to keep any women I'm interested in a secret from everybody.
Lol. Agree. Did you learn how the "grid" of women can inject assumptions, old arguments from exes, etc into a current woman you're seeing?


Master Don Juan
Jul 7, 2012
Reaction score
Fvcking hot women doesn't feel like a particularly great accomplishment once you've done it a few times. As a side lesson from this, the surest way to tell that a guy doesn't get laid is if he's constantly talking about how much he gets laid.


"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"