Very good post!When you finally understand what a healthy dating/relationship dynamic feels like because the veil of brainwashing has been lifted.
It feels like this:
- You no longer experience neediness of any kind. No matter what, you don't need your partner for anything. You simply enjoy them.
- You no longer experience fear of her leaving you or cheating on you because if she does, you know you are still a high-value man and also that you can get another girl without problem.
- You are no longer impacted by games
- You are no longer afraid to set boundaries for fear of losing her
- No part of your identity or pride is tied to her. If the relationship ended and you found yourself single, you'd feel no less of a person, nor be ashamed socially
- You put yourself first, and understand doing so is NOT a bad or wrong thing (this doesn't mean you don't consider other people)
- I'm stealing another poster's words here, but I can't think of a better way to say it: "You
- quit taking women so seriously and you think of them as children." Now I will add my own interpretations as to what that looks like. It means you understand that women do not think the same way as men, and due to this and due to their emotions, YOU must make decisions yourself, including how to "manage" and "discipline" them. It's like a child - You don't argue with a child do you? Why? Because you KNOW that you know better than them. So if they try to drag you down into childish games and fights, you don't participate, and if her behavior warrants it, you implement a consequence. That consequence is usually withdrawing your time and attention. Most issues with women can be seen as a child-like temper tantrum and attention-seeking game playing. Rather than take these things at face-value, you have to see them for what they are, laugh to yourself, and then act as I mentioned above.
- Related to above - You realize that YOU set your reality, not someone else. If something bothers you and you express it by setting a boundary, you do not engage in an argument if she pushes back and tells you that your concern is unwarranted, unfair, or anything else. You SHOULD absolutely listen to her, and evaluate what she says, and you may choose to change your mind if what she tells you really does convince you that you missed something in your thinking, but ultimately you have to understand that you are the decision maker and if she doesn't agree with your decision, that's her problem.
- If you actually want a relationship with a woman, you have to change your mindset about their temper tantrums and childish games. Women all do these things - you aren't going to find a unicorn that never does. Instead of seeing them as unbearable, you have to see them as women wanting to feel and experience your masculine power. They love when you stand up to them (though they usually won't show it in-the-moment), and when you treat them as the children they are. It's in the way you stay above their games and punish them as-needed by setting boundaries and if necessary, withdrawing your attention. This feels so sexist to say but trust me, I've tried it both ways and there is only one way that works.
- Your strength and masculinity from the characteristics above causes women to become more attracted to you, in general, and if it does not then they have filtered themselves out to you as being unqualified candidates for your time and attention, so good-riddance.
This should be the mental state of every man.
Breakups should an inconvenience, not a world mover
Games should be fun, not stressful
Men should follow their story, not let someone else write it for them