Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

what's the problem with taking your girl to a club?

Da Realist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 1, 2005
Messages
802
Reaction score
23
Location
Memphis, TN
The question is, drak, have you done or have you not? Like I said: been there, done that. Instead of attacking the "rules", test them.
 

Lexington

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
1,258
Reaction score
70
zekko said:
I agree with this. If that's what you want to do, do it. But generally speaking, I would advise almost anyone against it. Just the fact that guys will likely be hitting on her a lot (if she is hot) would be reason enough for me to avoid it. This would be strengthening her frame, giving her validation, and increasing her value in her eyes relative to yours. Plus guys hitting on her could result in several types of bad situations. But I don't like clubs anyway. Like I said, if you find it fun, go for it. But I think there are way better date ideas.

I remember I used to date this HB9, and she was a true HB9, not just an inflated number like I have a feeling you see a lot here (I don't believe in 10s by the way). Anyway, when I took her out guys were falling over themselves to get to her. You could tell the player types because they would gaze steadily into her eyes. She knew how to handle herself, but I found it annoying honestly. And I never even took her to a club, I can't even imagine the attention she would have drawn there.
Most girls know where they stand on the hotness totem pole. Taking her to a club is unlikely to alter her perception of herself. If a girl is a HB9, she knows damn well that she is an HB9. Going to a club wouldn't exactly be a revelation for her.

Besides, most girls in their 20s have probably been to a club at some point. They're expecting to get hit on by a lot of guys. In fact, they'd probably be pretty disappointed if they weren't.

I personally wouldn't take a girl out on a date to the club for simple logistical reasons. Usually clubs are so damn loud that you can barely even hear yourself think, let alone have a meaningful conversation with someone!

I'd much rather take a girl out to a bar. At least there, you can hear each other clearly. You don't have to constantly wade through a sea of people either! You can sit down and get to know each other. Plus you can also play darts, pool etc. At a club, you can grind on each other and that's about it.
 

drak_ool

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
766
Reaction score
21
Da Realist said:
Instead of attacking the "rules", test them.
That's what this whole thread is about. I'm attacking the rules by testing them. I have taken plenty of dates to bars, as I mentionned in the past, at one point it used to be part of my standard routine. I also take my gf now to clubs when I feel like hitting them up. I have never seen her flirt with a guy that is try to hit on her. Not when I go to the bathroom, not when I (or she) go(es) to the bar, or in any other situation. If I got any other reaction from her, I would start re-assessing our relationship.

Since you say your opinion is based on your own actual negative experiences with chicks/gfs you took out to clubs, I respect it. Clubs are not for everybody. I'm not saying you HAVE TO take girls there, I am simply saying you can make it work if that scene is your thing even if you bring your date/gf.

We're all tyring to escape the matrix, so let's not start erecting our own walls and hide behind them is all I'm saying. Let go of your limiting beliefs and the possibilities are endless.
 

Da Realist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 1, 2005
Messages
802
Reaction score
23
Location
Memphis, TN
drak_ool said:
That's what this whole thread is about. I'm attacking the rules by testing them. I have taken plenty of dates to bars, as I mentionned in the past, at one point it used to be part of my standard routine. I also take my gf now to clubs when I feel like hitting them up. I have never seen her flirt with a guy that is try to hit on her. Not when I go to the bathroom, not when I (or she) go(es) to the bar, or in any other situation. If I got any other reaction from her, I would start re-assessing our relationship.

Since you say your opinion is based on your own actual negative experiences with chicks/gfs you took out to clubs, I respect it. Clubs are not for everybody. I'm not saying you HAVE TO take girls there, I am simply saying you can make it work if that scene is your thing even if you bring your date/gf.

We're all tyring to escape the matrix, so let's not start erecting our own walls and hide behind them is all I'm saying. Let go of your limiting beliefs and the possibilities are endless.
Truthfully, it wasn't so negative since I found out at the time she down for me. On top of that, it was funny how scared guys were to do anything in my sight.

Actually, I have another story. I went with a female friend at the time to a pool hall. This time I walked to the restroom and on the way I could tell at least guy wanted to holler at her. I wouldn't have cared because we weren't romantically involved. I came back expecting to hear she gave him her number, but didn't hear nothing. So we get back to the car and she tells me how she saw the guy wanting to talk but he was scared. I just busted out laughing because I was surprised she didn't go talk to him.

So I mean, if your game is tight, or in my case your just intimidating, cool. But I just don't advise it because it's almost the same as dangling meat in front of a starving dog.
 

NSUballer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
461
Reaction score
7
Age
37
Location
New Orleans
Im taking a girl i been 'talking to' for about 2 months to a club for new years. A really nice club where we have a VIP room upstairs above the crowd with me and a bunch of my friends.

I have no qualms about it. Im not insecure or needy. I think its gonna be a good time. Also I get to see how she acts around my friends, most of whom she doesnt know, and a club full of attractive strangers.
 

iqqi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
5,141
Reaction score
82
Location
Beyond your peripheral vision
Great post, OP.

If you are worried about taking your girl to the club, you have a whole world of other problems going on there. That is just one telling sign.

Being in a relationship does not mean you stop liking music, and to dance. Going together to the club, and having a good time, means that you have a compatibility and attraction that withstands mere outside influence.
 

Falcon25

Banned
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
886
Reaction score
47
iqqi said:
Great post, OP.

If you are worried about taking your girl to the club, you have a whole world of other problems going on there. That is just one telling sign.

Being in a relationship does not mean you stop liking music, and to dance. Going together to the club, and having a good time, means that you have a compatibility and attraction that withstands mere outside influence.
He's not talking about a girl he's in a relationship with. He's talking about testing a new girl and having a date at a club.
 

iqqi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
5,141
Reaction score
82
Location
Beyond your peripheral vision
Falcon25 said:
He's not talking about a girl he's in a relationship with. He's talking about testing a new girl and having a date at a club.
Either way, dude, either way.

He is saying that you should be able to take a girl to the club without worry about insecure crap, and have a great time. I totally agree.
 

NSUballer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
461
Reaction score
7
Age
37
Location
New Orleans
Im the type that expects the worst from a female. That way I can be pleasantly suprised when she acts the way i want her to and reinforces my natural skeptical ness of females in their early twenties.
 

Falcon25

Banned
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
886
Reaction score
47
iqqi said:
Either way, dude, either way.

He is saying that you should be able to take a girl to the club without worry about insecure crap, and have a great time. I totally agree.
He is not saying either way dude, he is ridiculing and calling those that don't want to be in that position as insecure. He has already decided on what to do, he is just putting down those that don't agree with him. That's where the problem comes in, dude.
 

iqqi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
5,141
Reaction score
82
Location
Beyond your peripheral vision
Falcon25 said:
He is not saying either way dude, he is ridiculing and calling those that don't want to be in that position as insecure. He has already decided on what to do, he is just putting down those that don't agree with him. That's where the problem comes in, dude.

I am pretty sure that he said he was referring to a couple of posts already made, as well as some of the opposing viewpoints on this thread, as insecure. Which I agree!

If you are worried about your girl, you are not secure with your girl, which means you are insecure. It is insecure to be worried about taking your girl to the club because you think other guys will be able to take her away from you or your attention.

And with this thread, he is also trying to let other readers realize, that it is FUN and OK to go to the club with a girl you are dating or in a relationship with.
 

Falcon25

Banned
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
886
Reaction score
47
iqqi said:
I am pretty sure that he said he was referring to a couple of posts already made, as well as some of the opposing viewpoints on this thread, as insecure. Which I agree!

If you are worried about your girl, you are not secure with your girl, which means you are insecure. It is insecure to be worried about taking your girl to the club because you think other guys will be able to take her away from you or your attention.

And with this thread, he is also trying to let other readers realize, that it is FUN and OK to go to the club with a girl you are dating or in a relationship with.
Once again, he is not talking about a girl he is dating or in a relationship with. IT'S A GIRL HE JUST MET.
 

drak_ool

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
766
Reaction score
21
Falcon25 said:
Once again, he is not talking about a girl he is dating or in a relationship with. IT'S A GIRL HE JUST MET.
Falcon25 I find it funny that you feel so offended by what I allegedly say, yet... you don't even take the time to read what I wrote!

Please go back to my very first post. I'm talking about taking 1. a date to a club and 2. your gf to a club. I believe both situations can be win-win for you (and have been for me in the past).

I never said "not taking a girl/gf to a club means you're insecure." I repeated many times during this thread that it's fine to not take her if clubs are not your thing.

However, I did say, and I keep saying it, that not taking a girl/gf to a club because you are worried about what other guys will do to her and how she will react to their advances reeks of insecurity. If you can't see why, then you still have a long journey in front of you on the road to self-fullfilment.

So, if you enjoy going to a club as a single guy, you like that scene, but as soon as you got a date/gf on your hands you stay away from them for fear of the competition, then you are insecure in my book.

To address another recurring concern of my critics: I never said clubs are the ONLY place you should take your date/gf, just one option among many others.
 

Evzone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2007
Messages
312
Reaction score
5
I wonder what kind of messed up lives some of the people have when they post about huge fights breaking out all the time in clubs, ect. I've been in a few scuffles every now and then, but the common factor ALWAYS has been alcohol, not a girl.

If you're tired of drunken nonsense and fights all the time, you should probably re-evaluate what kind of clubs you go to. There are classy nightclubs as well, believe it or not. Are you guys talking about clubbing in the third world or something, like in Lebanon, Colombia, or Detroit? Get out of the hood...
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,230
Reaction score
143
It's OK to take your girl to an electronic club. They're full of nerds. None of them will fight you for the girl nor have any Game whatsoever.
 
Top