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what's the problem with taking your girl to a club?

drak_ool

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reading over the 2 "would you fight over a girl" threads raging on right now, I realized that a lot of you are saying that a DJ should not take his date or girlfriend to a club. Some are even suggesting that "high quality" girls don't go to clubs...

Are you guys serious? Can't you see how badly that reeks of insecurity on your part?

1. the date. She agrees to go to a club with you where she knows you will grind all over her, probably kiss her, play with her body and maybe take her to a hotel/your place later. She OBVIOUSLY has high IL if she accepts the date in the first place. So the only reason some other guy will get the girl that night is if you fvck up big time (for example, by acting insecure around her when other guys try to chat her up!). You will not lose this girl during the time you just go to the bathroom and back.

2. your girlfriend. If both you and her like to dance and have a wild time AND hang out with your single friends, maybe help them get laid, then what's wrong with going to a club? What else do you suggest doing on a saturday night, staying at home with her and playing cards or doing cross words? Of course, if your girl is hot, it's almost a given some guy will try to interact with her in one way or another.

In this situation, if your gf is "high quality", she wont even give the guy the time of day; she'll blow him off instantly; she'll go looking for you, or pull you closer to her.
If your girlfriend is a low quality skank, then she will be flirting back, even letting the guy get physical with her. Then you know you're wasting your time with the wrong girl, next her and that's it.

Overall don't blame clubs for your own insecurities or your girl's slvttiness.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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I would suggest reading a post called The Truth About Women. But, maybe I would take a girl who I've known for awhile. Not, one that I just met.
 

PlaysToWin

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I would take a girlfriend I was seeing exclusively to a club but I wouldn't take someone I was just dating. I guess it's just not my idea of what would make a good early 'get to know each other' date.
 

Falcon25

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A club is where SINGLE MEN GO to GET LAID. That is why so many fights happen. A guy brings his girl to a club hoping to have fun, he goes off with his friends and she is on the dance floor. How is the other guy suppose to know that she is with a man?
 

drak_ool

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to I.A.F.Y.B.: I'm asking "why would you not take a girl to a club?"
you gave me no answer

To PlaysToWin: i guess we have different kinds of game. When I meet a girl i am only worried about 1 thing: create enough attraction as quickly as I can to get the lay. I can get a girl more attracted to me in one crazy night at a club that will make her think "what a fun, adventurous guy Drak_ool is!" than you will in a month of 'get to know each other' dates.

Second advantage: you'll just blabber away all the mystery and she won't see you as a challenge anymore, decreasing the chances of actually getting the lay. In fact I bet the friend zone is a familiar place for you?
But she won't know a lot about me besides the fact that I like to dance and have a good time: this will only increase her IL, as she will try her best to "pierce the mystery." From there on, if I actually think she is a fun girl that is deserving of my time, I will throw in a blabber date, to see what I got on my hands. If she is boring me, she'll never get to see my other side.
 

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drak_ool

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Falcon, you are looking at this from a very insecure perspective. So what if a guy hits on your girl? like I said in my first post, if she is high quality material she ll just blow the guy off. If she is a skank, then you have no business being with her in the first place. Also, i'd rather find out w/er my girl is a skank sooner than later, so just take her out and see how she reacts. It's like testing her, to see what she's really made of.
 

Falcon25

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drak_ool said:
Falcon, you are looking at this from a very insecure perspective. So what if a guy hits on your girl? like I said in my first post, if she is high quality material she ll just blow the guy off. If she is a skank, then you have no business being with her in the first place. Also, i'd rather find out w/er my girl is a skank sooner than later, so just take her out and see how she reacts. It's like testing her, to see what she's really made of.
I'm looking at this from reality. I have seen people stabbed to death in clubs over women. Do what you want. I would never take a girl I don't know to a club. You are asking for trouble. This is a fatal move.
 

teacha

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reading over the 2 "would you fight over a girl" threads raging on right now, I realized that a lot of you are saying that a DJ should not take his date or girlfriend to a club. Some are even suggesting that "high quality" girls don't go to clubs...

Are you guys serious? Can't you see how badly that reeks of insecurity on your part
?



I thought r.kelly told you, 'dont bring your girl to the club, coz im a flirt'...:yes sir, the Teacha is a flirt and after you gone to the toilet, im gonna slide my number :cool:
 

Da Realist

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Did it for a concert a while back. Of course when my girl went to the restroom a bunch of guys wanted to talk to her. She told me what happened when she got back and we went on about our business.

I mean, there was no doubt I could mopped the floor with some of them, but what would it have proved? Plus I would have had to fight who knows how many guys and look like a bloodthirsty idiot when we were there to have fun. It just wouldn't have been worth it for the fact she was happy with me and was going to leave with me, along with other reason.

So here comes the time where I say instead of just talking about it and shaming guys for being insecure because they don't want to go through the trouble, do it for yourself. I think it's stupid because you put yourself in a situation where some idiot may try to start stuff because he was too lame to bring a woman to the club himself and now has a bunch of alcohol to make himself feel brave.
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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Don't take your girl to clubs. They've done it so many times it's rediculous. You two should be doing new and interesting things, not hanging around in clubs spending godawful prices for drinks.

Your girlfriend should be much more into walking with you on the beach or something else fun/romantic vs going to a club. If she's biatching about going to the club, tell her she should go with her friends, you want to enjoy new experiences in life.

If she still gets biatchy and insists you take her, reexamine your relationship. She's most likely either about you spending lots of money, she's a permanent brat who will always want her way, she's a one-dimensional party girl, or she's looking around for a new guy on your dime.

There are an unlimited number of combinations of things you can do with your girlfriend to make unique experiences happen. She won't be effected by you taking her to noisy-drunken-dancing places and blowing a bunch of $$$ for the "privilege", but when she goes to the beach with her friends and sees the spot where you found a cool seashell for her, she'll remember clearly and feel a rush. And, when she looks at that shell at home once in a while she'll remember the beach as well as how she was feeling WITH YOU.

New and unique experiences and the ability to apply the $$$ spent at clubs on thoughtful and important things for yourselves will mean much more than just another blurred out night at a club.

Also, taking her for more unique-type experiences will give her something to talk about with her friends and co-workers. It really sucks for women, no matter how "good" their boyfriends are, to listen to other girls talking all of the time about their new adventures with their boyfriends. That won't end well if it goes on too long.
 

strong like bull

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hats off to "ThatMysteriousGuy", he hit the nail on the head.

"whats the problem with taking your girl to a club?"

nothing , except clubs are for partying and nothing of substance will ever stem from it. everybody needs to party once in a while, but YOU deserve much more fulfilling experiences than those mindless antics can provide.

and even if your girl really did want to go club it up all the time, remember... deep down, its not about what she wants. its about what YOU want. live life your way and only accept the girl that suppliments your style of life. never conform to hers.

-SLB
 

zekko

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Drak, if you want to take your girl to a club, and that's your thing, go ahead and enjoy. But don't try to make it about being insecure. Would you walk your girl through a bad part of town where she's likely to get mugged? No? Why not? Do you feel insecure about your ability to protect her? No, it's because it's not a smart thing to do.

Now, I'm not saying you're dumb to take your girl to a club. You're a young guy and that scene probably appeals to you at the moment. But the fact is, girls go to clubs to get hit on (not to get picked up necessarily, but they want to feel their value by being hit on). Guys go to clubs to hit on girls. Why walk into a situation where her value is going to be constantly validated as opposed to yours? Why walk into a situation where she is going to be hit on constantly by guys (if she is a really hot girl)? Some guys enjoy that sort of thing (they think my girl is hot), and if you are ibe if them, fine.
Then there's the possibility of getting into a fight with some moronic drunk for disrespecting your boundaries. Personally, I can't stand drunks because they act like idiots. For that matter, personally I can't stand clubs.

But if that scene is fun for you and your girl, go ahead and do it. Be aware there are reasons not to, but if you weigh the pros and cons and decide to go, have at it. But don't make it an insecurity issue just because most people think it's not an ideal place to take a date to, because it isn't.
 

drak_ool

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Zekko, my main problem is that a lot of guys here on SoSuave have these set-in-stone rules (that were written by others, usually some famous "guru") about what to do and what not to do with girls. They live by these rules, or at least try to, and they think of themselves as DJs.

One of these rules is "don't go to a club with a chick". So i get 10 responses here that look like they were written by robots.

Now you're comparing going to a club with hanging out in the ghetto at 2 am (i've lived in the Detroit area, trust me I know what a "bad part of town" looks like). You're comparing risking your life (the ghetto example) with a normal social interaction (the club). Don't you think you're going too far?

I understand, due to your age and habits, clubs are not the thing for you. That's fine with me, i m not forcing anybody go hit up clubs with their girls.

I don't know what kind of women you hang out with, but my gf is bothered when other guys hit on her and she shows it to them, so they back off. Sure there can always be a drunk guy going overboard. But that can happen in any setting where alcohol is involved, even just walking around downtown at night. Then what is your solution, just stay indoors after the sun sets?

If you like clubs, yet you refrain from going there once you have a girlfriend because of fear other guys will be hitting on her and she might start flirting with them, then of course it is an insecurity issue! Again, if you are NOT into clubs to begin with, it's a diff story.
 

Ice882

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there's no problem if she's worthy of your trust and isn't a disgusting individual like those girls on Jersey Shore.
 

drak_ool

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ThatMysteriousGuy said:
If she still gets biatchy and insists you take her, reexamine your relationship. She's most likely either about you spending lots of money, she's a permanent brat who will always want her way, she's a one-dimensional party girl, or she's looking around for a new guy on your dime.
Woaw, I usually respect your analysis/advice, but you totally jumped the shark on this one. You jumped to conclusions that are not based on any facts I brought up. Just to fill you in, I'm still in grad school while my girl has a good paying job, so we always split things 50/50. So no, I am not spending more money on her than she is on me.

First of all, as the title of this thread indicates, this is about me TAKING my girl to a club, as opposed to her DRAGGING me there against my will. Let me set this straight: if i say "we're not going to a club" that's the end of the story, it just won't happen.

Besides hitting on girls, clubs are a great place for... SURPRISE SURPRISE... music! I used to be a promoter, and I'm still really into the electronic music scene. This is just not the kind of music you can listen to on your iHome. No, I don't go to shytty frat boy clubs where they play top 40, I go to clubs where I know a good DJ is spinning.

Everything else you say about doing cool, unique stuff with your girl I agree with but... it is not pertinent to my topic. How many walks on the beach do you take at 2am?

TEACHA, about 4-5 guys a day approach my chick and either try to give her their numbers or try to get hers. What do you suggest I do, lock her up in the apartment all day?

I don't listen to r.kelly, but Talib Kweli said:

Leave her be for five minutes
Dudes try to dive in it first
They want to spit on my name and tarnish my image
I tell them do you I don't care who she speaking with
Because I already know she made it clear who she leaving with
 

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Falcon25

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Why did you ask a question that you already knew the answer to? If you want to insult me and call me insecure by giving an opinion on the question that YOU have posed, then you are the insecure one for not listening to someone who is older and wiser than you. I have been in many fights, many clubs, and taken many girls to different clubs when I was in my twenties. IT NEVER WAS A GOOD IDEA. Sure, you can take a very long time girlfriend to go dancing or whatever, but usually taking a woman you like to a club is like taking a puppy into the woods filled with hungry wolves.....
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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drak_ool said:
Woaw, I usually respect your analysis/advice, but you totally jumped the shark on this one. You jumped to conclusions that are not based on any facts I brought up. Just to fill you in, I'm still in grad school while my girl has a good paying job, so we always split things 50/50. So no, I am not spending more money on her than she is on me.

First of all, as the title of this thread indicates, this is about me TAKING my girl to a club, as opposed to her DRAGGING me there against my will. Let me set this straight: if i say "we're not going to a club" that's the end of the story, it just won't happen.
That's what happens when you make a copy of a thread and it shows up after I posted in the other thread. I copied my post right away which highlights how silly it was for you do to that. You didn't even notice because you were too focused on YOUR new topic.

Everything else you say about doing cool, unique stuff with your girl I agree with but... it is not pertinent to my topic. How many walks on the beach do you take at 2am?
This is your thread. That was obvious when you created it instead of continuing with the one already going. You want it for you and to tell people:

drak_ool says clubs are good to take girls to, you all are wrong and if you don't believe the he'll talk about himself to prove it
You're in grad school
Your girlfriend makes good money
You never pay more than half for anything with her
You were a promoter
You have strong musical opinions/qualifications so you're sharing what is good and not for some reason
You know how to pick a club with a good DJ
You're into electronic music
Music lyrics are good for life advice
You test girls to see if they are skanks by taking them to clubs
You like to fish with strawman arguments in almost every post
You get girls at clubs by showing (quote)"what a fun, adventurous guy Drak_ool is" and then take the ones you actually go out with to clubs. That speaks volumes in itself

Lot of other stuff....that covers much of the ground....I'm sure you'll tell us anything about you we've missed.

Look, this whole thread was created to be about you and your view and you're just talking about yourself and taking pot-shots at other people (and, no "i like you generally but" doesn't fool anyone). You titled it to be about taking girlfriends to clubs, switched it to being about all girls, and wrote this at the end of the first post
Overall don't blame clubs for your own insecurities or your girl's slvttiness.
(10/10 by the way) which served no purpose whatsoever except to provoke people into posting in the thread so you could talk about yourself and scatter strawman arguments around so people would be encouraged to defend themselves so you could then do it again.

Have fun with YOUR topic...telling people YOU are right and GREAT and everyone needs to agree with YOU or they are misled. Or, are you cleverly doing a parody of insecurity and then will say "hey, I was just kidding guys, that was just a simulation, i'm not really like this inside"?
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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drak_ool said:
to I.A.F.Y.B.: I'm asking "why would you not take a girl to a club?"
you gave me no answer
My answer is in the Thread I suggested. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=83349 After reading the truth about women... You can see how women really are. The last thing you would want to do is put them in an enviorment where the are other "players" trying to get with your girl. Maybe, these guys in the clubs are chumps and you have nothing to worry about. Or they have better game than you...

Hell, listen to R Kelly - I'm a flirt. They sing about how not to bring a girl to the club. Now, R Kelly may just be a RnB singer. But, the Bishop Don Magic Juan has taught him some game...
 

drak_ool

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Mysterious Guy what are you trying to achieve with your comments?

I started this thread for 2 reasons:

1. to prove that with the right frame, you can take your girl or girlfriend (i am currently in a relationship, yet notice in my first post I cover both sides of the equation) to a club and have a great time, yet still leave with the girl or the relationship intact. No amount of "players" in the club will change the fact that if you have your shyt together and your girl/gf respects you, you have nothing to fear.

2. pick-up is about how you apply the principles you learned to create your own unique experiences. It's not about following blindly a set of rules created by others. So I brought up my experience and why it works for me. Now please tell me, how many times have you experienced PERSONALLY the opposite reaction, aka you went to a club with a girl on a date and she left with some other dude, or you took you gf to a club and she ended up grinding all night on some other guy? Notice, if your gf does that to you, the club was a great eye-opener and you now know you're dating a skank.


You call me blind, yet look at your arguments, they're laughable. I said everything you wrote about taking a girl out to the beach etc. was not pertinent to my topic because the topic has to do with clubs and going out AT NIGHT.

Then in one post you attack my gf (call her a gold digger) and my relationship (i m insecure one for taking this gold digger to clubs and paying for her) based on no facts whatsoever. When I bring up some facts to show you my girl's not a gold digger and she's not the one dragging me to a club, you say i m showing off. wtf?

I.A.F.Y.B. I'd rather find out the truth about women myself, not read about it in some thread or have some guru teach me what it is. Pick up is about your journey, not somebody else's.
 

zekko

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with the right frame, you can take your girl or girlfriend (i am currently in a relationship, yet notice in my first post I cover both sides of the equation) to a club and have a great time
I agree with this. If that's what you want to do, do it. But generally speaking, I would advise almost anyone against it. Just the fact that guys will likely be hitting on her a lot (if she is hot) would be reason enough for me to avoid it. This would be strengthening her frame, giving her validation, and increasing her value in her eyes relative to yours. Plus guys hitting on her could result in several types of bad situations. But I don't like clubs anyway. Like I said, if you find it fun, go for it. But I think there are way better date ideas.

I remember I used to date this HB9, and she was a true HB9, not just an inflated number like I have a feeling you see a lot here (I don't believe in 10s by the way). Anyway, when I took her out guys were falling over themselves to get to her. You could tell the player types because they would gaze steadily into her eyes. She knew how to handle herself, but I found it annoying honestly. And I never even took her to a club, I can't even imagine the attention she would have drawn there.
 
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