penkitten
Master Don Juan
you have been hiding in our linen closet, haha !! busted!!Originally posted by Eternal
I'm sure you two will spend the day getting off...
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
whats on your xmas list
- Thread starter shagnscoob
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
is that the unsensored version?
penkitten
Master Don Juan
hahahahah
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Abbott
Master Don Juan
Money...and more money.
Cash, money, "benjamins," money, coins, money, greenbacks, money, green stuff, money, and more money.
Did I mention that I want money?
It's the universal gift certificate that never expires. Plus, unlike other things, you WANT to have as many duplicates as possible.
Ben
P.S. Jewelry won't be so bad either, but I'd still rather have more money.
Cash, money, "benjamins," money, coins, money, greenbacks, money, green stuff, money, and more money.
Did I mention that I want money?
It's the universal gift certificate that never expires. Plus, unlike other things, you WANT to have as many duplicates as possible.
Ben
P.S. Jewelry won't be so bad either, but I'd still rather have more money.
-Dvd Burner
-Tivo or similar tv recorder
-iPod (because my archos sucks balls)
-Banana Republic Sweater
-Clothes, clothes and more clothes
God Penkitten, Gio, and eternal... Can you guys join a thread without derailing it?
-Tivo or similar tv recorder
-iPod (because my archos sucks balls)
-Banana Republic Sweater
-Clothes, clothes and more clothes
God Penkitten, Gio, and eternal... Can you guys join a thread without derailing it?
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I just want to get gas money and Spider-man 2 on DVD. I also think that I am getting Elf on DVD also.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Spike_the_Dragon
Senior Don Juan
I could use a new leather trench coat.
Hint hint.
Hint hint.