"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
What's a good response to this question?
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
dutchmaster
Senior Don Juan
"no my boyfriend would kill me"
"sure my sister, is like my best friend"
"right now it's a no, keep up with the dumb questions and it will stay a no"
etc etc. duck the sh1t test
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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Good question. I already have an answer I use, I just wanted to see what other people say in such situations.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
DiegoSantori
Senior Don Juan
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A response you should definitely avoid is "Define 'seeing'".
If you are not attracted to her and can't improve your life by sleeping with her, then yes you have a girlfriend.
If you are attracted to her and can improve your life by sleeping with her, then no you don't.
Even if you have a girlfriend, what does have to do with sleeping with her? Although it's is frowned upon in NA culture, lots of men in the East are married and have good looking mistresses.
I don't use canned responses with women. So whatever the situation is.. that is what I tell them.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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And what are some examples you've used and what was the situation?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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- Jan 16, 2014
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I like this.
Tictac
Banned
Belching brim fire and farting noxious gases. Maybe some chest thumping.
Women ask me this question all the time. If the woman asking is someone I want to f*ck I usually say no or that I'm "talking to someone". If the woman asking is someone I don't want to f*ck then I say I'm dating someone. All three are true.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
MrWood
Master Don Juan
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Leaves her thinking you're obtainable yet are desired by other women. Social proof, the keys to the kingdom...
daddymonsterpoodle
Master Don Juan
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"Yup, dozens, and I have one booked in at 11."
"Girlfriends no, sex slaves, yes."
"Do ****buddies count?"
"Yes"
"Ask me in the morning"
"Yup, she's hiding under the table right now."
"Why do you care if I do?"
I guess each time is different
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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I have a ton of answers for that.
"Well aren't you curious!"
"I have too many to count"
"Wouldn't you like to know"
Sometimes I'll just be 100% honest and tell her I don't or that I don't have time for one, especially if I'm sensing extremely high interest from her.
El Payaso
Master Don Juan
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I like the last one about not having time for one. Demonstrates high value and triggers competition in her.