"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What would YOU do, if you could TIME TRAVEL?

ElChoclo

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I would go back and keep asking waitresses if they are Sarah Connor, so that machines could comfortably rule mankind, forcing them to toil at keyboards connected via Skynet. I gather that this idea is acceptable to your culture?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Machina29

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Potbelly said:
What an idiot. Democracy is bullsh1t when most of the population is a composed of idiots.

Evidence: bush got elected....TWICE
You're right, but the biggest problem is that most of the idiots actually believe Gore would have been different than Bush. The two parties represent the same monied interest. We would have still had wars for Israel.
 

ArcBound

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Go to the beginning of time to the point of the Big Bang, get incinerated and spread my essence to every corner of the universe.
 

Down Low

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I'd go back to the Roman Republic as a demigod seer. Get in good with the main politicians by giving them timely advice. Then I'd advise them to make peace with the barbarians by offering them vast territories in North Africa and the Middle East to rule as brutally as they wished. I'd skip ahead several years at a time so my lifetime could cover many centuries. I'd prevent the formation of an empire, and prevent it from splitting into West and East. I'd advance the armies into the Arabian peninsula and prevent Mohammedism from ever being invented. Generation after generation would steadily conquer everything between the Sahara and the Arctic -- then move east, crush the Mongols and other mounted steppe armies, definitively vanquish and colonize Persia and India -- and over a thousand years, make Eurasia into a single unified power that could overwhelm and dismember China and fvck it out of existence.
 

seagull

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Down Low said:
I'd go back to the Roman Republic as a demigod seer. Get in good with the main politicians by giving them timely advice. Then I'd advise them to make peace with the barbarians by offering them vast territories in North Africa and the Middle East to rule as brutally as they wished. I'd skip ahead several years at a time so my lifetime could cover many centuries. I'd prevent the formation of an empire, and prevent it from splitting into West and East. I'd advance the armies into the Arabian peninsula and prevent Mohammedism from ever being invented. Generation after generation would steadily conquer everything between the Sahara and the Arctic -- then move east, crush the Mongols and other mounted steppe armies, definitively vanquish and colonize Persia and India -- and over a thousand years, make Eurasia into a single unified power that could overwhelm and dismember China and fvck it out of existence.
Dare I ask why?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Down Low

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In another few hundred years, the entirety of Western Civilization will have been fvcked out of existence by China. Its history will be erased, and the next Chinese empire will act as if the West was a minor bump on the road of the eternal domination of the Central Kingdom over foreigners. In particular, Western dominance now depends on control of fossil fuels, which will run out in a few hundred years, and will be critically insufficient far sooner than that. The modern West became aware of the long-term threat, tried to dismember China, was scared sh1tless by the repeated mass revolts of the poor, and . . . kowtowed. Your great-great-great-great grandsons will have nothing to look forward to but flat-chested, flat-assed, passive-aggressive AND violent, physically abusive Chinese cvnts for women.
 

Desdinova

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I'd travel to about 4 years into the future and fvck my ex's best friend's daughter (who would be 20 years old at that point). Then I'd tell my ex that I'm marrying the girl. The look on her face would be priceless.
 

ArcBound

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Desdinova said:
I'd travel to about 4 years into the future and fvck my ex's best friend's daughter (who would be 20 years old at that point). Then I'd tell my ex that I'm marrying the girl. The look on her face would be priceless.
You don't need a time machine for that. Just patience :D
 

backseatjuan

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A. Rob and get rich with gold. They say gold dont loose value though time.

B. go to future and get high tech weapons.

C. Return to present and setup a world government.


Then when everything is good id go see dynasaurs and jesus moses and bob marley
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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