It's a tough situation. I can't leave my social clique because this is a group of people that I've grown close to and I've spent a whole lot of time with. And I can't just ignore the one girl and say hi to everyone else, that'll be way too awkward especially in front of other girls that I want to have a potential chance with. So any advice?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What to do when your one-itis that you nexted is in your social clique?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Easy. Get with a new girl, or two, and bring them out with the social clique.Demystify said:It's a tough situation. I can't leave my social clique because this is a group of people that I've grown close to and I've spent a whole lot of time with. And I can't just ignore the one girl and say hi to everyone else, that'll be way too awkward especially in front of other girls that I want to have a potential chance with. So any advice?
But to what degree do I acknowledge the one-itis?, because I can't completely ignore her while saying hi and talking to everyone elsejdbman11 said:Easy. Get with a new girl, or two, and bring them out with the social clique.
She knows I'd like to hook up with her, as I've tried before but she's pushed me away, and she knows I let her under my skinjdbman11 said:Does one-itis girl know you have feelings?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
romangod said:Why do you have oneitis for a girl you nexted? It doesn't make sense.:crazy:
Cheers!
Well, I nexted her, but because she's in my social clique it's hard to get over her and remove her as my one-itis
jophil28
Master Don Juan
THis situation is just another of life's challenges to face and push through. AT your age you need the practise.Demystify said:Well, I nexted her, but because she's in my social clique it's hard to get over her and remove her as my one-itis
Yes, you still have strong feelings for her, BUT nobody ever died from their feelings.
It could be a lot worse- she could show up with a guy who looks like Bradley Pitt and she smirks at you smugly as she walks by.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.