It's a tough situation. I can't leave my social clique because this is a group of people that I've grown close to and I've spent a whole lot of time with. And I can't just ignore the one girl and say hi to everyone else, that'll be way too awkward especially in front of other girls that I want to have a potential chance with. So any advice?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What to do when your one-itis that you nexted is in your social clique?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Easy. Get with a new girl, or two, and bring them out with the social clique.Demystify said:It's a tough situation. I can't leave my social clique because this is a group of people that I've grown close to and I've spent a whole lot of time with. And I can't just ignore the one girl and say hi to everyone else, that'll be way too awkward especially in front of other girls that I want to have a potential chance with. So any advice?
But to what degree do I acknowledge the one-itis?, because I can't completely ignore her while saying hi and talking to everyone elsejdbman11 said:Easy. Get with a new girl, or two, and bring them out with the social clique.
She knows I'd like to hook up with her, as I've tried before but she's pushed me away, and she knows I let her under my skinjdbman11 said:Does one-itis girl know you have feelings?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
romangod said:Why do you have oneitis for a girl you nexted? It doesn't make sense.:crazy:
Cheers!
Well, I nexted her, but because she's in my social clique it's hard to get over her and remove her as my one-itis
jophil28
Master Don Juan
THis situation is just another of life's challenges to face and push through. AT your age you need the practise.Demystify said:Well, I nexted her, but because she's in my social clique it's hard to get over her and remove her as my one-itis
Yes, you still have strong feelings for her, BUT nobody ever died from their feelings.
It could be a lot worse- she could show up with a guy who looks like Bradley Pitt and she smirks at you smugly as she walks by.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.