"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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what the fook does this mean?

spang

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me: are you free anytime next week? we can meet up for a drink or something.

her:Besides Tues and Friday night, I think I'm mostly free. When and where were you thinking?

her:Note: I might judge you depending on how you answer.


what is this an audition??:down:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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HalfPUAHalfAFC

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Reply with your last line in you post. No emoticons though

It'll probably turn her off though.

But she already sounds like trouble, unless you know her well enough to interpret her text as facetious.

Here's some other possibilities to respond with:

Just respond with place/time: Jim's Bar, 9:30, Wednesday. Wear your clown suit.

Or, "Ha!"

Or, "I'll meet you at XYX, at [this time]... and I'll do the judging, missy."

Or, "Oh really?"

Or, :crackup:

Or, "Whatever"

Or, "Meet me at [place/time]. Bring your gavel, smarty pants"

YMMV
 

Pimp-sicle

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You can play this a couple ways.

One you can completely ignore her last line, women say stupid shiat all the time and you don't need to answer every single phuckin' question or statement thrown your way and proceed by telling her a time/place & day to meet you.

Or you can say something witty/****y; but I would refrain from this if this is a girl that you don't know well since sarcasm can easily get misinterpreted via text.

Or if you REALLY want to get her hamster spinning; don't reply at all and wait for her to text you again.

By delaying your response, you will get her imagination running and if she has solid interest in you, she will get worried and think she blew it with her stupid statement.

I would completely ignore it and just suggest a time and place/day. If she gives you any answer but yes, then ditch her.





PIMP
 

spang

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i left her a smart ass reply. already asked twice. not gonna put up with this crap.
 

VladPatton

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I'd say:

Damn, I didn't know I was on trial!

Or just ignored it. This girl reeks of entitlement already!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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