"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
what physical flaw(s) do you have?
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Sweetcheeks
Don Juan
I'm not that tall (5'8")
The bridge of my nose is slightly crooked from boxing (it's generally only noticeable in photos).
Why even start a thread like this? Are you trying to feel better about yourself cause you don't want to feel like you're the only one with flaws? Just don't worry about it!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Stretch marks (from my days being overweight)
Frown lines
Hairy shoulders (though easy enough to shave or wax)
I've always been really self-critical when it comes to appearance, but I'm realising now I'm advantaged in so many ways, so I have no grounds to complain.
Sweetcheeks
Don Juan
Hey sfalexi,
I actually used to have a severe problem with acne, too. It was so bad it actually hurt, and believe me, it really did a number on my self esteem. I had it dealt with about 5 years back with a 3 month cylce of Accutane. Talk to your doctor about it, I was ectstatic with the results.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
I have 2 metal rods in both of my legs and I walk with a slight limp.
One leg is shorter than the other.
I have a bad shoulder I got from lifting weights several years ago.
Remember, physical flaws are only an issue if you make it an issue in your head, period.
Donald Kaufman
Don Juan
shagnscoob
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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but my hair is curly so if its a little longer it just curls up into a gross afro
so i have to keep it really long and its like, a pretty big fro
lol
SpeedRunner
Don Juan
haha... i laughed when i read thatOriginally posted by Donald Kaufman
My p3nis is entirely too large.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Me too... the sarcasm was just overwelming
When I was young I spent every fukcing minute surfing, as a result I burned the shyte out of my neck, just above the wetsuit mark. As a result my skin lacks elasticity there. It is only noticeable when I draw attention to it.
Now, I draw a lot of attention to it, to chicks. I'll grab it and say "shyte I hate this, look at it" The they'll start with the "Oh, thats nothing look at my "whatever" and there you go, they are self deprecating in no time. My job is to pinpoint the insecurity and play it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.