Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
what physical flaw(s) do you have?
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Sweetcheeks
Don Juan
I'm not that tall (5'8")
The bridge of my nose is slightly crooked from boxing (it's generally only noticeable in photos).
Why even start a thread like this? Are you trying to feel better about yourself cause you don't want to feel like you're the only one with flaws? Just don't worry about it!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Stretch marks (from my days being overweight)
Frown lines
Hairy shoulders (though easy enough to shave or wax)
I've always been really self-critical when it comes to appearance, but I'm realising now I'm advantaged in so many ways, so I have no grounds to complain.
Sweetcheeks
Don Juan
Hey sfalexi,
I actually used to have a severe problem with acne, too. It was so bad it actually hurt, and believe me, it really did a number on my self esteem. I had it dealt with about 5 years back with a 3 month cylce of Accutane. Talk to your doctor about it, I was ectstatic with the results.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
I have 2 metal rods in both of my legs and I walk with a slight limp.
One leg is shorter than the other.
I have a bad shoulder I got from lifting weights several years ago.
Remember, physical flaws are only an issue if you make it an issue in your head, period.
Donald Kaufman
Don Juan
shagnscoob
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
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but my hair is curly so if its a little longer it just curls up into a gross afro
so i have to keep it really long and its like, a pretty big fro
lol
SpeedRunner
Don Juan
haha... i laughed when i read thatOriginally posted by Donald Kaufman
My p3nis is entirely too large.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Me too... the sarcasm was just overwelming
When I was young I spent every fukcing minute surfing, as a result I burned the shyte out of my neck, just above the wetsuit mark. As a result my skin lacks elasticity there. It is only noticeable when I draw attention to it.
Now, I draw a lot of attention to it, to chicks. I'll grab it and say "shyte I hate this, look at it" The they'll start with the "Oh, thats nothing look at my "whatever" and there you go, they are self deprecating in no time. My job is to pinpoint the insecurity and play it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.