What is your opinion on staying friends after relationships?

[Arex036]

So I don't want to make this post too long.
Yesterday after work I had convo with my female co-worker.

She had been in a relationship with co-worker. He basicaly banged her for a week and dumped her.
Now they they are "just friends".

It seems like he moved on, he is in new realationship...but it seems like she is still trying to get into his life.

She asked me for my "male perspective on this matter".

I think that this dating a co-worker situation is dumb and just complicates your life.
But also this saying in good terms with someone you have been with and trying to still be involved in their life is moronic.

Now, I would just like to hear your opinon on why is this happening.
Maybe some of you have better way of explaning to me this whole mess.

---

I don't realy care about them or their realtionship.
I'm... let's say friends with both of them and that is the only way I'm involvded in this situation.
Not trying to bang my co-worker.

 

[Westminster]

Staying on good terms is sensible if it's a work colleague inasmuch as you don't want enemies in your working life if you can avoid it. There are a couple of other things I'd say though:

First, I don't think being 'friends' works once you've had a romantic/sexual relationship. But then I'm also quite old fashioned because, whilst I'm happy to be friendly towards women, I don't won't women friends per se. It's an important difference.

Second, don't allow yourself to be friendzoned once a relationship is over. Basically, it's low-level humiliation so have a bit of dignity and walk away. You don't have to be hostile, just don't play that game.

 

[Gamisch]

This is because 1. It's been an extremely short-term relationship.

And 2 . The man did the dumping.

3rd reason might be because it's at work.

Dude played a risky dumb game as smart as possible, like a prisoner making the best out of his stay in jail or something like that..

Generally speaking staying friends is akin to self torture because rather sooner than later she will move on and be open about it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1 week is not a relationship. This was nothing more than a random bang regardless of how they want to frame it.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

A good number of my ex-s are friends. Two of whom I would trust my life with.

 

[zekko]

I have no problem with staying friends with exes, but unfortunately it can cause problems with new relationships.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I have no problem with staying friends with exes, but unfortunately it can cause problems with new relationships.

That's why I had to get off social media.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’ve been in a similar situation. Honestly, if feelings are still there, staying friends usually just makes things harder. One person moves on while the other is still holding on, and it creates tension and confusion.

I’ve found that the kindest thing is usually to step back and give each other space. Constant contact keeps hope alive and makes it harder to move on. A clean break might feel harsh at first, but in the long run it’s easier for both people to heal.

 

[Vanderdonck]

It's fine if it was just a bang or a fling. I've got a number of female "friends" who were just that.

LTRs, a little different. I've taken loooong breaks and gone NC. So reconnecting is kind of weird. I don't mind being friendly but I keep my distance.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Friends after relationship? Never worked for me.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Im friends with plenty of flirtations, I don’t see anything wrong with hanging out. Of course you’ve got to set your boundaries and stuff, but really it’s more coffee buddies in my book.