Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
But it doesn't really fit this situation.Leaving... That does sound like a little bit of an overreaction to her saying she can't stay too long.INXS said:
Confused.blueguy said:Wow, you are really concerned for tonight. Very needy. It'll screw you over. Too many questions. Too many concerns. You just got with this girl. You can't fake it for too long. You gotta reprogram your thinking.
She should be the concerned one.
Tell you what... convince yourself that although you *prefer* a certain outcome, it won't affect you, and the answers to your questions will come naturally. Having sex is always good 'cause that's what guys do, and it doesn't reek of neediness.
Leaving... That does sound like a little bit of an overreaction to her saying she can't stay too long.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Tell yourself this: You are the man. You get what do you want. What do you want tonight? Did you just want to go home and walk away because your girl gave you some sh!t test by saying she can't stay too long?! I don't think that's why you made plans tonight, is it? Are you really that affected by what she thinks? Her thinking shouldn't affect you.INXS said:Confused.
Does leaving sound like over-reacting? or leaving and saying that?