Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2004
- Messages
- 1,335
- Reaction score
- 27
What´s the course of action?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You just have to keep in mind that a woman can say just about anything for a myriad of reasons, but what really matters is what she does. Make her do something, whatever she comes up with should give you insight into her mindset.reset said:I think Francisco has found a way to save lots and lots of time.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah, words like "I miss you" doesn't mean anything. Don't be fooled.Francisco d'Anconia said:You just have to keep in mind that a woman can say just about anything for a myriad of reasons, but what really matters is what she does. Make her do something, whatever she comes up with should give you insight into her mindset.
I got a voice mail from a woman who I haven't seen in almost a month but had left a vm for a couple of weeks ago. She's busy working on a new degree and is preparing to speak at a big conference so she's not readily available. She says that we should plan on seeing each other some time next month. I just deleted the message, she has my number. I may be free next month, I may not. Either way it's not worth worrying about. If something comes of it, great; if not life goes on. They were just words.reset said:Yeah, I'm starting to realize that words don't count for much. Communication happens under the surface. You and the chick communicate without even speaking.
Many times I've thought "yeah but SHE SAID such and such, so why would she say that if---" cancel. Cut to the chase. There I just added a couple years to my life.
Otherwise you're playing her "game", and even if her game is fun and good for you, she should be playing her game according to your rulebook.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That'll work too but to a lesser extent. She'll probably tell you something nice.Blue Phoenix said:I´m gonna follow doc love "how much?"
lol
Good point. It seems like you don't miss her that much.dannyegg4575 said:how about just, I miss you too? simple... why play these stupid games?