Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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What if she 'farts'

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Serious question guys. I had my bosses wife today chatting with me, right next to me. I was turned on from another thing and she was sort of into it for a minute, solid eye contact, close to my face. Basically I smell a fart, and I know it wasn't me, and she was going outside. How to act, what to say, what to do?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I don't know about people you are not intimate with but if it's a girlfriend thats starts farting I'd dump her. They need to save that for the bathroom behind close doors. :cool:
 

MurdocNiccals

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The boss creeped in and did it ninja style so she'd think it was you and be disgusted, and you'd think it was her and be disgusted.
 

terran2k

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boy, you guys need to be handled and led thru every situation in life dont you??
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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theunflushables

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Franky Four Fingers said:
I don't know about people you are not intimate with but if it's a girlfriend thats starts farting I'd dump her. They need to save that for the bathroom behind close doors. :cool:
Really? You'd dump a girl if she started farting around you?
 

Julius_Seizeher

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Hell yes I would.

Smelling or hearing a girl fart would shoot my horse right now.
 

Alle_Gory

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highconscienceness said:
Serious question guys. I had my bosses wife today chatting with me, right next to me. I was turned on from another thing and she was sort of into it for a minute, solid eye contact, close to my face. Basically I smell a fart, and I know it wasn't me, and she was going outside. How to act, what to say, what to do?
Say nothing, grab you neck and pretend choke while dropping to your knees.
 

theunflushables

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Hell yes I would.

Smelling or hearing a girl fart would shoot my horse right now.
Maybe its my crude sense of humor but farts are funny. Especially when its this tiny cute little thing ripping one.
 

Semtex

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I had a girl fart right in the middle of me plowing her...it was a wet, frothy one too but not a majorly bad/stinker one.

It did not phase me one bit. I still got it done
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Zunder

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OP: You should have let one rip too, and then yelled out '1 all'.
 

Lateralus

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Next time just take a good sniff together, and that fart will be gone in no time.
 

Don Alfredo

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Zunder said:
OP: You should have let one rip too, and then yelled out '1 all'.
haha lol! farts are so funny :D just make sure she farts before you in any relationship. people are too serious sometimes. just get her to pull your finger and make it a fun thing! :D
 

Paintballguy

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Semtex said:
I had a girl fart right in the middle of me plowing her...it was a wet, frothy one too but not a majorly bad/stinker one.

It did not phase me one bit. I still got it done
same here. I was plowing my ex doggy style one time, and she ripped one by accident. She was all embarrassed about it, but I really didn't care. I finished the job.
 
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