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What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex?

Dradventure

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What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
 

samspade

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What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
It's always been a net positive for me.
 

samspade

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In which ways?
In one example, getting past massive guilt when contact was exacerbating it. In another example, retaking frame that had faltered a bit. I won't lie, my ego felt good when her birthday passed and she didn't hear from me, bc I knew she was expecting it. And in another instance, having peace and tranquility where the woman had brought constant upheaval and drama. That was the most recent and was 1000% about my inner peace, which is what they all should be about. Still, when she made lame attempts to reach out and I ignored, won't lie, felt satisfying to know I was living rent free in her head. But the ego/frame stuff should really only be a nice perk...looking back, the mental reset and the peace from distraction were paramount.
 

RickTheToad

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Mixed. I know a few reached out, but I never responded. I did chase after one once, but that one was done. When no contact with my ex-wife 9 years ago or so, never heard from her again (good riddance - big mistake on my part).

For the ones that had, I never bring the trash back into the house once it's put outside for waste. Nothing good ever comes of it. Always best to get someone new if a relationship ends. A relationship ends for a reason..
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
The nuclear option is block/delete. I've never understood why getting back with a girl after when in all likelihood the breakup was an excuse for an eiffel tower.
 

Dr.Suave

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My ex broke up with me last summer. I went no contact and now I have a new gf, and I like this new gf way more than I liked my ex
 

_sideways_

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In one example, getting past massive guilt when contact was exacerbating it. In another example, retaking frame that had faltered a bit. I won't lie, my ego felt good when her birthday passed and she didn't hear from me, bc I knew she was expecting it. And in another instance, having peace and tranquility where the woman had brought constant upheaval and drama. That was the most recent and was 1000% about my inner peace, which is what they all should be about. Still, when she made lame attempts to reach out and I ignored, won't lie, felt satisfying to know I was living rent free in her head. But the ego/frame stuff should really only be a nice perk...looking back, the mental reset and the peace from distraction were paramount.
But....doesnt anyone think that they are crazy and ,"love" you.
I'm speaking from venezuela.

It is different from california girls.
 

_sideways_

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Maybe sometimes....you should bow your head...say...sorry love.
And keep a beautiful woman next yo you for the next 20 years
 

_sideways_

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I'm not saying I'm doing that...but. maybe some women need a little help....in knowing how to love.
They all don't know.
 

samspade

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But....doesnt anyone think that they are crazy and ,"love" you.
I'm speaking from venezuela.

It is different from california girls.
Can you explain a bit more? I'm not sure what you mean.
 

Kdw8

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Broke it. The waiting got to me overtime, felt like I was waiting for something that wouldn't happened unless I initiated it, and that seemed to be the dynamic throughout a lot of the relationship. She kept it cordial when we talked, which kinda upset me. Acting like we weren't in a relationship a few months prior. I moved on, stopped checking on her, blocked her and her sister numbers and social media, started meditating, starting working out more, went on other dates but still nothing really came out of them at all.
 

Atom Smasher

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It’s gratifying because it is proof positive that we overcame emotion. We fought an inner, battle, won that battle, and now enjoy the sense of mastery this generated.
 

RangerMIke

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100% You either leave a situation that isn't working for you, or the woman you are dating adjusts to your needs. Win-Win always.

Now if you are doing this with the 'intent' to get her back... well... that is low. A vast majority of women I walk away from are gone for good.... which is fine.
 

Hal9000

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My "no contact" strategy is to never contact them again. It wasn't a ploy to get back together or pique their interest. I was done with them and ready to move on. If you are using it to play games or send any message other than "I'm done with you" then you are doing it wrong.
 

Dash Riprock

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As my trips around the sun have added up, no contact has become my default setting for any relationship in which I'm treated poorly, the person is disrespectful, or it's not mutually beneficial where we both invest and get something out of it. This is especially true for women and dating but goes for business, family, and male friends too.
 

Woujo

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The best thing you can do with an ex is move on and don't look back. Here is why:

If she dumped you, that means she does not really like you, and trying to get back with her just makes you look more and more weak and beta. When a woman is in a relationship, she tries to make it last as long as she can but once she cannot take it anymore and dumps you she almost never looks back, so you coming back to her does not work.

If you dumped her, you have done the worst possible thing you can do a to a woman from an evolutionary perspective because women evolved to need the acceptance and protection of the tribe. The phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' is true because, from an evolutionary perspective, you have basically sentenced her to death. So even if you come back and apologize and try to take her back she will never really trust you again.
 
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