Dradventure
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2019
- Messages
- 21
- Reaction score
- 9
- Age
- 48
What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
In which ways?It's always been a net positive for me.
The nuclear option is block/delete. I've never understood why getting back with a girl after when in all likelihood the breakup was an excuse for an eiffel tower.What has your experience been with doing no contact with an ex? Did you end up getting back together ? Grow more as an individual?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
But....doesnt anyone think that they are crazy and ,"love" you.In one example, getting past massive guilt when contact was exacerbating it. In another example, retaking frame that had faltered a bit. I won't lie, my ego felt good when her birthday passed and she didn't hear from me, bc I knew she was expecting it. And in another instance, having peace and tranquility where the woman had brought constant upheaval and drama. That was the most recent and was 1000% about my inner peace, which is what they all should be about. Still, when she made lame attempts to reach out and I ignored, won't lie, felt satisfying to know I was living rent free in her head. But the ego/frame stuff should really only be a nice perk...looking back, the mental reset and the peace from distraction were paramount.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.